Can my sons father take him from me for going on dates with my boyfriend?

Morgan - posted on 01/23/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi I'm 24. A "single" mom but I have a boyfriend, dating since August, talking since April.
The issue I keep having is when my boyfriend and I want to go on a date sometimes the only time we can work around our jobs ends up being on the days I have my son.
So I have my mom and dad watch him for me so we can still get our alone time together.
My boyfriend and I have done this once since October and a few times during the whole talking period.
It has happened a few times now that my parents are still in contact with my ex and he finds out that I went out on a date (dinner and movie) and he turns to the solution of taking me to court because I'm not with my child.
Do you really think I can lose my child because I go out on a date with my boyfriend?

I have two jobs: pharmacy technician and wedding photographer entaupenuer.
I do not do drugs nor do I even drink socially. I will drinking on holidays that's all.
My sons father and I have 50/50 custody as agreement we came to by ourselves. No courts were involved for this.
This is how our split is and how we share the child.
I pick up Sunday at 530 to wednesday 530
His dad will have him wednesday 530 to friday 530
Then I pick up friday 530 to sunday 530
His dad picks up sunday 530 to wednesday 530
Continues like that...
Our time is completely equal.
Most the time our dates fall on the days that I do not have my son but there are some occasions when it collides.
I want to think its the same thing as if I were married to my ex. What would we do if we wanted to go on dates? The child would go to a family member or babysitter for the night.
Please help.
I get scared. I love my child. I am in no way unfit. Id do anything for this kid.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/23/2015

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Its always best to have these things set in court. As it stands, you have a verbal agreement, which is not legally binding.

Yes, he's being petty, jealous, and attempting to control, which is why you need court orders, not just a verbal agreement.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/23/2015

13,207

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2014

Never thought about the right of first refusal...that may be a good key point

Raye - posted on 01/23/2015

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I agree with Shawnn. Let him take you to court, and get a legal custody agreement. Do you give your ex the opportunity to take your son on days you go on dates? There is such a thing of right of first refusal. The bio parent gets the first chance to take the child. If they can't then going to a family member or trusted care provider would be okay. I don't think you are doing anything wrong, but it depends on what the judge will say. Your ex is being petty, but he may not be wrong.

Ev - posted on 01/23/2015

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I have to agree with Shawnn though you did work things out for yourselves which is a good thing, the only thing that stands up in court is what the court orders. As it stands he could decide to keep your child with him and not give him back since there is no existing court orders.

And he is jealous.

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