Can noncustodial make plans at last min

Lisa - posted on 08/27/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I need opinions, I have custody of my 2 young teen boys. The father is given a holiday sched. when he can get them and everyother weekend. The problem is he tells me about his holidays at the last min. For instance, labor day weekend is coming up. it is my weekend but by the guidelines he gets them. but, he will tell me when he is picking them up at the last min. its not my problem.hes a big boy. im not going to remind him. ive asked him to do this in advance. when is enuf, enuf. he was supposed to have my son for his b day but never called or nothing. 2 days later he was bi----- cuz he wanted make up time. i asked the court they said it was his problem cuz he didnt make an attempt. is there a rule or anything that says he should have to notify me within a time period to let me know when he is going to get the kids.

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Ev - posted on 02/18/2013

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Is it not in your visitation that if a visit is missed that it can not be made up? Does it allow the parents to make changes accordingly to schedules and such with advance notice? I know in mine when its a holiday no matter if its my weekend or his we have to go by the holiday. Sometimes we have to make changes in pick up time but we notify each other before having it come to last minute.

Dove - posted on 08/28/2012

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Then don't call him. When he calls to try and make it up after the fact... simply let him know when his next scheduled time is and leave it at that. It is HIS responsibility to maintain a relationship with his kids.... whether or not he bothers to do that isn't your problem. Your only problem is helping your kids deal with the fact that they have a flake for a father (without YOU every putting him down, of course).

Lisa - posted on 08/28/2012

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I have a weekend and he has a weekend.. but by indiana guidelines if his sched. holiday falls on my weekend.. i loose it.. i dont care if they go to their dads but he has ruined the relationship yrs ago with them. he is mentally abusive and verbally abusive to them. the thing is he does get this weekend. but he wont show up to pick them up. he would rather call a day later and say he forgot and needs make up time. just to be mean. i should not have to sit here and assume he will get them when he is supposed to. he does this on purpose. it is not my responsibility to call him every time his sched. time is up and ask what or when is he getting them.

Dove - posted on 08/27/2012

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If he's a flake... the court order should include a time frame that he has to notify you by if he's going to take his visitation.



I'm confused by you saying that Labor Day weekend is your weekend, but by the guidelines he gets them. It's either your weekend or his....



How much notice are you wanting here? When in doubt... go with the court order. If it doesn't specify that he has to give you a certain amount of notice... deal with it. If it DOES... let him know that you have plans (assuming you DO) since he didn't give you proper notice, but you'll be happy to let him make it up... whenever works... if he's available. If you don't have plans and you know your boys want to be with their dad... let them go.

Jodi - posted on 08/27/2012

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OK, I really have to ask.....why is it a problem for you? Only because you feel he should give you more notice of change of plans? Or is it because it is inconveniencing you because you have made other plans?

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