can someone give me advice dealing with a drug addicted bi polar ex bf?

Gillian - posted on 06/04/2012 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend of 3+ years and i have a 2 year old son together. My bf is a manipulative drug addict, he recently "broke up" with me through a text message fight, the 3rd one in 3 weeks, he said to me he needs a level head and is happy (he doesnt seem to realize i know he has been seeing this floozy ugly idiot homewrecker that has been a problem before, he is using her for drug money and rides and she is dumb enough to do it, she refused to believe he and i were still together for the past 6 months)...anyway...
Throughout our relationship my bf has disappeared for weeks at a time, the most recent one was the past 3 weeks, yesterday he finally text me and was arguing with me then tried to say he wants to be civil. Then the next day it turned into him harassing me, verbally abusive, threatened to bring me down and take my child away from me, threatened with child protective services and kidnapping charge if i went over the state boarder.He is thrashing out at me bc he cant admit to himself how bad of a person he is, He has been violent towards me before and held my son hostage when he was a newborn, he uses drugs daily and has multiple personalities. He walked out on us several times and while i was giving birth, he was withdrawing. He is very manipulative!! I am very fearful for our safety, what i can do until my case moves forward, if i can get temporary custody (and how) or if i can get immediate custody to protect my son from his abusive father. Can anyone give me some advice? im frustrated bc if you want someone out of your life you move on, instead he is doing the opposite, im like his personal yoyo, why bother talking to me, good bad or threatening if all you end up doing is texting me back later just to rub it all in my face again?

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Medic - posted on 06/04/2012

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Why are you with him? Is this how you want your son to learn to act? My exhusband was and still is a druggy. Its easy you tell him you leave this house one more time to get fucked up and your shit will be outside and the locks will be changed. Then DO IT. It is not my problem that he cannot pull his head out of his ass long enough to figure out what he has lost. I managed to get him to sign rights over to our son a few years ago. I left the state without his permission and there was not a damned thing he could do about it. Not to be mean but maybe it is time that you find your backbone and inner strength and stand up for yourself and your son. You deserve to be treated better than this and your son deserves a better role model.

Stifler's - posted on 06/04/2012

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get rid of this loser! get a restraining order and fight for full custody with supervised visitation. If that. You and your son do not need this.

Kelina - posted on 06/04/2012

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As far as I am aware when there is no custody agreement in place, there's no such thing as kidnapping. You'll want to double check that with a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that's how it works. You should be able to take him on vacation, move out of state etc. However, it does go both ways. If he decides he wants his son he can take him and you'd be powerless to stop him. Considering his behaviour so far, I'd say file for sole custody, but that's me. Otherwise, if he wants visitation rights, etc, he has to file for them.

Kelina - posted on 06/04/2012

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go talk to a lawyer. They'll be able to tell you what your rights are, etc. If you guys have no custody agreement in place though keep in mind two things 1. You should be able to go wherever you like and keep him away from his dad. 2. He can do the same to you.

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Gillian - posted on 06/07/2012

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To all moms that responded, i have good news! i have a hearing set in july AFTER this asshat goes to court (and probably to jail!) so im very happy to know ill probably get everything i ask for bc ill be the only parent who shows up! ive been doing the happy dance all day :)

and btw that chick is indeed a homewrecker bc shes been trying for years to come between us, he used to block her, tell her to back off, etc so i understand what your saying however i blame both and now i could careless bc i will soon have custody of my son!! :)

[deleted account]

(he doesnt seem to realize i know he has been seeing this floozy ugly idiot homewrecker that has been a problem before, he is using her for drug money and rides and she is dumb enough to do it, she refused to believe he and i were still together for the past 6 months)...

You do yourself no favors with this line of thinking. If she honestly believes what HE is telling her i.e. you're not together, then she is NOT the homewrecker - HE IS! Remember, he is the asshole in this situation - not her. He is the on per your own words who is a drug addict, bipolar, physically abusive to you and is unsafe around your child. Your anger is misplaced and it's another way of HIM manipulating you. Don't let him do this. As stupid as you think she is - may I remind you that you stayed with him for 3+ years and made a child together. I'm not calling you stupid mind you but keep that in mind when you know she is believing his lis because you believed them for a long time too.

Please seek a battered women's shelter. They will help you in the maeantime with finding a safe place to live. Change all the locks in your home. Do not allow him to see the child until a a court order is in place. DOCUMENT everything. Get a note book and write. Ex. 6/18/12 - called at 4:00 and threatened to kidnap my son with these words, "etc" - be precise. Record any phone calls you get from him and save them. Save any text messages on a place not your phone - I don't own a cell hone but i know this can be done. They are documentation.

Gillian - posted on 06/06/2012

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and ive seen you post this on a few other websites, what is this all about?

Gillian - posted on 06/06/2012

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im just a little confused as to this post but intrigued, what does this "DR" do?

Gillian - posted on 06/04/2012

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and if i have custody i assume he could only counter charge (or show up at the hearing) if he wants visitation etc, he had 30 days to give a response after he was served the papers and never did yet he tries to sound like its my fault he cant see our son when he is the idiot that walked out again. durrr!!! its SOOO frustrating. like really just go away dont pretend like you care when your too self absorbed right now and too far in your own hole to get out. not my problem anymore.

Gillian - posted on 06/04/2012

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and if i have custody i assume he could only counter charge (or show up at the hearing) if he wants visitation etc, he had 30 days to give a response after he was served the papers and never did yet he tries to sound like its my fault he cant see our son when he is the idiot that walked out again. durrr!!! its SOOO frustrating. like really just go away dont pretend like you care when your too self absorbed right now and too far in your own hole to get out. not my problem anymore.

Gillian - posted on 06/04/2012

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i had filed for custody before but i had been sorta pressured into it before i could think about what i wanted and now i know i should have gone through with it however i did refile a few months ago and due to a funeral we missed the hearing but bc my case is still open i filed a motion to keep it going and reschedule it, hopefully they will and if not he is probably serving time soon so ill be able to relax a tiny bit and let the court do their job without me being afraid bc his threats. now my question is, i can take my son and as long as i dont let him get my son ill be ok till the court tells us whats going on correct? if he was to snatch my baby away id be screwed but otherwise i DO NOT have to let him see or have him correct?

Gillian - posted on 06/04/2012

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oh were not together and we havent lived together in awhile, we never had our own place so he moved back into his mothers house, smh, and i moved in with other family till my custody papers went through...

Gillian - posted on 06/04/2012

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so lets just say i wanted to take my son out of state for vacation, i know that whichever parent has him has custody of him if there is no agreement, meaning yes he could do the same to me, would he have a right to press kidnapping charges if the child is with me on a vacation? thats actually what started this whole thing, we were going on a vacation and i told him after i bought the tickets, then later on we discussed moving out of state and so i said id have to have custody of our son so i can move then you come down a few weeks later, so i filed the papers and he said he no longer wanted to move and got mad that i filed. so stupid.

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