can't deal with my In-laws what can I do??

Tara - posted on 11/23/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I don't get along at all with my in-laws. ( mother and father ) My husband and I have finally sat down and talked about not dealing with them anymore as it's to much stress on us.We get along GREAT.. have been together for about 12 years but lately it's getting to the point where I can't deal with them without taking it out on him somehow which I hate soo much but I can't help it. I think I take it harder now with having a kid and they still do and say things that make me sick and now it's like they are doing it to my son. So my question is how do I let it go, how do I not get sucked it?? please help me... I can't deal with it anymore..

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Ariana - posted on 11/23/2012

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I would reduce your contact to short public ventures, always with your husband. So go out for lunch then go home and thats it. If they start being rude your husband should tell them either they don't act like that or you're leaving; if they continue all of you leave.



This shows them you mean business but also gives you all the opportunity to mend the relationship (hopefully). I know this is a different scenario but I used to have an AWFUL relationship with my sister until I moved from my dads to my Moms house. When I was with my mom (for whatever reason) my sister did not act the same as she did at my dads. Over time because I was only seeing her when my mom was around it's like we got conditioned to treat each other nicely, and now have a fairly good relationship (as long as we aren't together for more than a day or so haha).



This is different but you train people on how they treat you. If your inlaws are treating you rudely then you show them that is not going to be put up with and leave immediately, your husband is the one who should deal with the brunt of it though since it's his family. Having short periods of time to see them can help 'train' them in the new way to treat you. You might even start with going out for coffee for 10-15 minutes and if you can get through that go for longer.



Either that or just cut them off, I don't know what they're doing but if it's enough to rile you up this much it can't be good



Good luck!

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