Can you help with tension between mom and 19yro son

Trisha - posted on 12/12/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




I am mom of a 19 yr old boy and am going out of my mind. I raised him to work hard to be successful and he is not worked in 2mo. He sleeps till noon and complains when I tell him to go find a job. I love my son but dont want him to be a bum, he has moved in with his girlfriends family to get away from me telling him he needs to work for him to feel good about his life. Am I going about this wrong? I miss him but hate the tension between us, not to mention the empty nest feelings. Anyone have any words of wisdom?


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Bobbi Jean - posted on 12/12/2012




It is hard your children get to be older. You are still a parent and they are still your child, but not a child. You did what you could to raise him well. What he does now is his choice. He is responsible for it, you aren't. When my children grew up--all the dynamics changed. I was their mother--had to keep reminding myself that I wasn't Mommy anymore.

Other than that, I can't add anything to Michelle's most excellent advice. Please follow it. I wish someone had been able to get this point across to my sister when my nephew started having problems like your son's. It would have saved years of heartache.

Michelle - posted on 12/12/2012




He is 19 let him live in the real world for awhile the gf parents aren't going to let him hang around long if he isn't pulling his own weight he will learn and unfortunately it is going to be the hard way. You can't force him to get a job nor can you help him to keep it. I wouldn't stress so much about the lack of job but try to dig deeper to find out why he has decided to sleep all the time as this can be a symptom of depression or illness. Talk with him about how he is feeling both physically and emotionally this can tell you alot about what is going on in his life. Once he feels you are trying to support him he will open up to you and eventually will get back on the right path.

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