[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )
I have a friend of a friend who has a 5 year old little girl. Everyone seems to talk about the little girl because she has some problems. I didn't even like my own daughter being around her for a long time because of the things she would say and the way she would act towards my daughter. She would mostly say hurtful things that included curse words. The little girl started kindergarten this year and she has already been suspended for her behavior and had to be evaluated. She has a single mother who seems to be more concerned with her men and herself than her daughter. She basically always makes sure to make arrangements for someone else to make sure her daughter is taken care of, I understand we need child care for jobs and things but this goes beyond normal child care needs. The mother has random men in and out of the house and around the child. I have not spent a lot of time around the child and have only been told by mutual friends what is going on with her. Tonight this little girl came to my house and my heart is breaking for her and I feel so horrible that we have not had much to do with her. There was no extreme behavior just basic trouble listening, slight disagreements with my daughter that we're easily solved. I know that she doesn't see much of her mommy and in the few hours that she was here I heard her say numerous times "I miss my mommy", or "I want to go home and see my mommy", or I want to do that with my mommy" and there is something so sad in her eyes. I just wanted to scoop her up and hold her close. When her mother is around she provides little interaction or discipline and on top of that the friend that usually cares for her seems to be so impatient with her. The little girl loved being here and interacting with my daughter. She also seemed a little shocked but intrigued with how we interact with and treat our daughter. For example the structure and routine we have for bath and bedtime. She always brushes her teeth before bed, climbs in bed and then I sing to her and kiss her and her daddy reads her a story. The little girl in question seemed to love this idea and once again made her talk about missing her mommy. Am I right to think that with her mommy always pawning her off on someone, or throwing parties while she sleeps upstairs and being more concerned with her risky lifestyle that this is a form of neglect? Also with all the strange men in and out some of them complete strangers who will live with them for periods of time I am afraid maybe (if she hasn't already) that she may be sexually abused. The child and her mother are frequently talked about among our circle of friends but you never hear of them spending time together or anything positive at all. Lately I have been hearing that on her days off the mother has been flying off for nearly a week at a time to see her out of state boyfriend leaving the little girl bouncing between friends and relatives houses to receive care. The school issues that I am aware of are violence, cursing, refusing to listen, acting out, and saying pretty disturbing and obscene things to the other kindergartners. My daughter is 8 doesn't even know half the curse words or anything about the disturbing things this 5 year old is talking about. Like I said we didn't really have any problems while she was here and I def need not see any of this extreme behavior. What I did see was one very cute, and sad little girl who seemed to be crying out for attention from others but mostly the attention of her mommy. I can not get her off of my mind now and I'm not sure what to do or that it's even a case of neglect. Advice please?