Catholic Baptism advice!

Kori - posted on 06/02/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am a not really practicing Catholic (since my son was born 3 years ago) however I am baptised as his my son's father. I want to get my son baptised in the next couple months and I have the godparents already,but my b/f is not on board because he is not religious and I am not actively practicing. Can I get some advice on what to do or how to convince him I don't want to do this for me, It is all about our son and his furture.

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Jodi - posted on 06/02/2011

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In the Catholic Church, baptising doesn't mean you are indoctrinating a religion on your child. By baptising him,. you are giving HIM the option in the future to CHOOSE to embrace the church through the sacraments, which he must undertake himself, and the final embrace of the church would be through his Confirmation, which happens when he is old enough to decide for himself. Being baptised as an older child is MUCH more complicated and involved than baptising a younger child, and a child must be baptised in order to make that decision to undertake other sacraments.

I guess you need to ask the questions on whether you do ever plan on taking him to church. Do you plan on sending him to a Catholic school. What is it you want to achieve by undertaking the baptism?

Sharon - posted on 06/02/2011

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A lapsed catholic or non practicing catholic doesn't mean that they don't believe. It just means they aren't following all the tenents of their religion.

If your BF is non practicing, thats one thing. If he doesn't believe in any god, thats a different thing.

You don't need him to do this.

Krista - posted on 06/02/2011

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Ah, okay. That makes more sense. So you ARE devout, you just don't get a chance to go to church.

This is a tough one. I realize that this is important to both families, but they have their own spirituality -- this is your son's. So to my mind, something as incredibly important and personal as a person's faith should not be up to the peanut gallery. This should be a decision that is solely up to you and your b/f.

And where you're in disagreement, this is where things get sticky. Is he actually opposed to the idea, or does he just not really see a need for it? If his opposition is mild, then perhaps he just needs a better explanation as to why this is so important to YOU (not to your families -- in this aspect, their wishes really aren't relevant).

If he's adamantly opposed to it, then really, you should have had this discussion before having kids. But, that horse is out of the stable. In this situation, I really can't give you an unbiased answer, as I am atheist and do not believe that kids should have their faith chosen for them, but should be able to choose it themselves when they are older.

I think that really, the key to this is to really talk it out with your b/f, and explain as clearly as you can as to why you want this for your son, and ask him to explain as clearly as he can why he does NOT want this for your son. Just keep in mind that just because you're faithful and he's not, that does not mean that you have more say in this than he does. He may be just as strong in his atheism as you are in your Catholicism, and he has just as much of a say in your son's spiritual upbringing as you do.

Good luck, keep talking it out with him, and hopefully you'll find a solution.

Kori - posted on 06/02/2011

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I haven't been to church since my son was born cause I work alot on sundays but I do pray at home and do go to mass at funerals or other occations like that, just haven't beable to make it to regular mass. As for the importance of it...... I want this for my son as it is as important to both families as well.

Krista - posted on 06/02/2011

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I guess I'm a little confused. If you're not a practicing Catholic, and your b/f is not at all religious, then why is it so important to you to have your son baptized?

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