Chance of father getting custody

Ashley - posted on 07/29/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My sons is 2 and his father has not been involved since the begining. I asked him to be involved and help he said thats my job and the state would have to locate him. After months the state finally finds him and when cs is approaching he threatens custody. Since Aug of last year i have been in a custody battle. I have an attorney he doesnt and he did not respond to the petition which a default was entered. The judge still gave him a chance and he lives and 2 hrs a way and requested 50/50 (half the year). The judge has order financial info to be turned in and he hasnt complied he petitioned the court to reduce his cs mind you he only been paying at the time 3 mnths then says he is barley making it but manages to take out an auto loan & go on trips while on house arrest. He told me his counter petition was only out of spite bc i pursued cs and asked me to remove him from cs and i told him no. So now he has been bringing some girl to court and bragging how great his relationship is (i dnt care or ask he volunteers) and how he is a great father to her child (her dghtrs fthr is in prison) and will never do anything else for our child. He was on house arrest for drugs and is still on probation. He has been to prison as well and since being off house arrest he has had 12 supervied visits and missed 7. A contempt motion was filed against him bc he refuse to turn in his fncnI info and while i have to pay attorney fees & court cost and the court waives his bc he lies about his income. At this point i am stressed out bc I am taking this seriosuly but this is a game to him. He started texting me late at night early morning that he wants to share his feelings with me and he loves me no matter what but since the court is involved i am trying to run him into the ground. Down to pics of me when i was preg. Now if you have a gf i dnt get why a person would be texting and calling an ex! My question is to anyone who has experienced this do you think he will get standard visitation even since he is not making an effort to see our son with 2 supervised visits per month (5hrs total)? My attny sd she he will not get shared but im starting to feel like he is using my son as a tool to hurt me.I dont bother him or call him but he loves to text or call me when he feels. My thing is he claims he is barley making it then how can he support a child? He did ask to be in a relationship and i told him no bc he was becoming a prblm with being their for our son and i knw it would get worse do you think this is also why? Do anyone have similar issues & your outcomes or any advice....?

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Ashley - posted on 01/09/2013

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Hi everyone thanks for your replies. I actually won sole parental responsiblity and he ended up with supervised visits eventually going to 1 weekend a month. Fathers day and 2hrs birthday and XMAS. That was September, he has stated he no longer wants to visit with my son anymore and blames me. But he got married and moved out of state hasnt seen him in four months nor has he paid CS. His spouse emails pretending to be him and emailed my lawyer advising he will no longer visit. Then ask to pick him to take him shopping for xmas but he doesnt have a job but he is doing the right thing. Funny how people are and swear they are doing right. I realized he doesnt want the responsbility it was and is all a front. I am currently in the process of going back to court to have the order modified again bc he hasnt adhere to the timesharing schedule. Thanks ladies.

User - posted on 07/31/2012

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Listen to your attorney. She knows what she is talking about! If he is not obeying his court orders to produce his income, then chances are they will not give him joint custody. They will probably keep it where it is at. If it cannot obey that simple order, what else is he going to ignore? If he keeps it up, there is a good chance he will end up back in jail for non-compliance. As far as anything he tells you, texts you, or any other contact, make sure it is all documented and that your attorney is aware of all of it. If she can use any of it, she can and will when the time is right. Good luck to you. Do not worry about him getting full costudy because it will never happen!

Jessica - posted on 07/30/2012

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I agree with Lacye. I highly, highly doubt he will get shared custody. He may get visitation or supervised visitation, but that's it. Keep documenting everything and his way of dealing with the courts isn't going to work in his favor either. He's missed visits, lied about income, etc. that along with not being a part of his son's life for the first 2 yr of his life doesn't look good to a judge/magistrate. He also doesn't have an attorney. He doesn't seem very serious about any of this and although he's asked you to be with him, I think he's doing it to spite you and he should never use your child as an in- between. I hope he gets his head on straight and at least provides for him financially, your child deserves that. He's just trying to scare you with the whole winning custody thing, and he's not going to succeed. He jut wants you to feel that fear. He doesn't really want the responsibility of actually raising a child. Good luck to you and great job on taking care of your child by yourself, it's very difficult.

Ashley - posted on 07/30/2012

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He made the statement only in front of my mom. He makes sure he is very careful about what he puts in writing. I have been documenting all the cancellations via text. Thanks for the advice. I am praying the outcome is in my favor.

Lacye - posted on 07/29/2012

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1. Save EVERYTHING! All text messages, any e-mails! Especially if he put the part about him only doing this to get back at you as a text or e-mail.

2. With his track record from what you have said, he will get visitation but probably not custody. The fact that he is not even making an effort is going to look bad on his part.

3. Do not contact him back in any way unless it's about your son. That way nothing can be misconstrued in any way.

That's about all I can say really. Just document everything and keep going with what the court system has set for already and you will be good.

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