Change of last name during messy custody battle...

Lubi - posted on 12/29/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have recently had my daughter's last name changed from her father's to mine. The current situation is complicated. Her father and I split (we were common-law) about 3 years ago now. We remained out of court, and worked out a 50/50 custody deal, when all of a sudden the police inform me that he is being charged with possession/distribution of child porn. My daughter was uninvolved, thank God, and was given to me with myself to have sole custody- but joint guardianship. Since then his mother has become deeply involved. She was granted a generous amount of access, 3 of 4 weekends a month, to facilitate supervised access for her father until his trial (its in 2 months and Im sick every day with worry) Well since then my daughter has confessed she has been alone with him, which is a big no-no and the ministry became involved, revoking any access for him at all, yet the court order remains as him being allowed supervised access. (The ministry over rules) Since that happened, I decided to change her last name. I was granted this without his consent. He's about to find out, through his mother who still gets my daughter on weekends, and I'm afraid he'll take me to court for not consulting because before all of this new mess, he had joint guardianship which entitles him to have say. I just need some advice. Help please?

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Lubi - posted on 12/30/2010

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He knew of every detail as I wanted to cover my tracks, in case this ever became a problem in the future. I'm just afraid of adding fuel to the fire as there's now a child psychologist involved, investigating into our situation, because I guess to take some of the spot light of of her son, the grandma started making up lies about me. Oh man, it hurts....

Firebird - posted on 12/30/2010

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Yea don't say anything for a little while, but honestly, if you were actually granted a name change for your daughter without her dad's consent, I don't think he can do much about it. The judge must have seen good reason to let you do it. Did the judge who allowed this know that your ex has joint guardianship?

Melanie - posted on 12/29/2010

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I would definatley speak to a lawyer. That sounds like a very messy situation. If you can't find a lawyer that will give free or low cost advice, I would speak to the ministry worker involved with the case. They have expirience with these kind of situations, and may be able to help. I really hope all goes well for you and your daughter.

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