changed mind about having a baby after miscarrage

Michelle - posted on 08/06/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi ladies, a few months ago me and my husband were trying hard to have are second child, I got pregnant and not 2months later had a miscarrage. At first I was for trying again right away, but since gone back on birth control and now wants to wait indefinatly. I feel like it was a sign that we are not ready for another one, we are in the process of finding out if are son has a disabilty and wating to spend as much time helping him however he needs it. So what I'm asking is, is it normal and have any of you felt like this.

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Carol - posted on 08/06/2012

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What you are feeling is normal. I don't think it meant you weren't ready though. A wonderful counselor told me that my miscarrage was an example of my body having more wisdom than my mind - my mind wanted the baby and my body knew the baby was not healthy and ended the pregnancy. People expect you to get over a miscarrage quickly, you are in grief, you have had a death in your family, you also had a dream die. Let yourself grieve, get some counseling and be kind to yourself and to your husband (he needs to grieve too). Sounds like you are going through a lot, be sure to take care of you or you won't have anything to give your family. Please, please don't see this as a punishment or a judgement, it was a healthy thing your body did and now you need to recover physically and emotionally.

Determined - posted on 08/06/2012

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I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your reasoning if I had lost a child I definitely would want to wait; especially if on top of everything else finding out that your son has a disability. I think how you're feeling is normal.

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