changing my daughter's last name

Darcy - posted on 02/28/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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How can I change my daughter's last name to mine? Her Dad does NOTHING for her and not in her life much. What can I do?????

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/04/2014

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First, you cannot decide NOT to allow the child to visit her father. Unless you have actual proof of dangerous behaviour, you cannot deny the visits. And, if you DO have proof of dangerous behaviour, you need to present that and ask for supervised visits. He can NOT decide to withhold support because of visitations, but likewise, you can NOT decide to not allow him access. That is the law, and you need to abide by that.

Sarah - posted on 03/01/2014

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Thank you for the answer Darcy. I guess I was thinking that she was a baby. Ask her what she thinks so if he EVER wants to get involved in her life then she can't get mad at you for changing her name.

Jodi - posted on 02/28/2014

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I'm confused. Why can't he have her at his house? What do the visitation orders say?

With regard to her name, given he is in fact in her life (even if not often), it is pretty unlikely he will agree to it.

Darcy - posted on 02/28/2014

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Sarah my daughter is 5 years old. He didnt want me to have her in the first place. I WILL NOT ever get back with him, because once in a while what he "tries" to do to me in front of her is inappropriate. ! Shawnn I have taken him to court for support and visitation orders. He ONLY wants to see her when he wants to. IF I go after him for support, he WANTS her at his house without any adults around. I just found out his background and I DONT want her there. And when he DID visit him and his family, they were not nice to her at all. They are rude to her and yell at her constantly.

Sarah - posted on 02/28/2014

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First of all how old is she? Does she visit him sometimes? What if he gets involved in her life and she gets mad at you? What if when she is older her friends bully her for it? It is all something to think of. What if someday you and him get back together and you feel ashamed? It is something you will regret and she will not like. Most moms regret this just saying.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/28/2014

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Contact your local vital records office. They will tell you what steps you need to take. If the child has her father's surname, and you wish to change that, it may require petitioning the court, allowing her father time to respond, and living with the judge's decision.

And, I must say if dad does 'nothing' for her, and isn't in her life, why haven't you taken him to court for support and visitation orders?

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