Cheated---Online Dating---Forgive or not to forgive?

Jane - posted on 03/26/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Me and my husband live separately due to no one will look after my 6 month old son and we're both working so I live with my parents and so as he, I don't want a nanny to take good care of my son, so we decided that my mom is the best person who can do that thing for us. Honestly I don't trust my husband because before having our first baby I caught him chatting with so many girls. So because of that incident I eagerly find way to know his FB password and luckily I got it without his knowledge. I always monitor what he is doing over the internet, but actually found nothing big deal. Until last week I found out that he created an account on TAGGED a certain online dating site ,since he was using the same password I was able to open it and to my surprise I saw that he was flirting with so many girls looking for someone to meet up and the most hurting part is asking for sex. I confronted him and had a screen shot of some of his conversations. He was very sorry and told me that its just for fun and he will not do that for real and asking for one last chance and promise not to that again. I'm still in shock by this time and don't know what to do.. Don't want to have regrets.. Please help me..

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Jane - posted on 03/26/2015

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I was thinking over and over again, on what to do on this situation. I like to raise my child with me and his dad on his side. I know that there are lots of single mom out there that successfully raise their child on their own. I really feel that he is so sorry but the things that i saw keep on replaying on my mind though nothing actual happens, but still considered as cheating. I keep on asking myself on what is wrong with me. He also told me that he was doing that because his ex wife cheated on him and want to revenge, but i told him that I don't have any participation on that, so I don't deserves this.

Allyson - posted on 03/26/2015

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I have a friend going through a similar situation...I don't understand thou if it's suppose to be all in fun and not serious then what are the intentions? That's what he said as well. It's hard to say what to do but you probably deserve better then that...how would he feel if it was you doing it...probably wouldn't like it and probably wouldn't forgive you. Do what's right for you and your happiness

Jane - posted on 03/26/2015

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Actually before this incident happen,i mean i caught him doing that thing we're planning to live together and will ask mom to live with us on May this year. I'm trying my best to be fair with him I know his needs and trying to comply to the best that I can. I asked him what is wrong with me,even on the physical aspect I've been maintaining my figure and everything, but he keeps on saying that nothing is wrong with me and it was just for fun and he was just told by a friend about that dating site and he will not really do that (i mean to meet girls and have them in bed) For now, he keeps on asking for forgiveness and promise not to do that again just to give him one last chance to prove that he will change and not to broke the family that we are starting to build. I told him to leave me alone and give some space to think, for I don't want to have regrets.

Raye - posted on 03/26/2015

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He's probably only sorry he got caught, not sorry he was looking to hook up with other women. It's strange for a married couple to live apart only for reasons of needing a babysitter. Could you not drive your child to your parents house for them to watch him? I'm not saying your husband's behavior is right, but if you two aren't that close, then it might at least be understandable that he would be seeking attention elsewhere. If you can't trust him, and he can't control his urges and talk to you about his needs, then you both have big problems. If there's any question in your mind about whether to stay with him, then I think you owe it to yourself and the baby to try to work it out. If you both can't communicate well together, then Counseling might help you work these issues out. If it doesn't work, then at least you know for sure that you'd be better off apart.

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