Kristen - posted on 05/06/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )
Okay so I need help with this! My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and we have an 8 month old together. Going into the relationship I knew he was a bad idea. But something clicked and off we went on this whirlwind romance. I had a daughter from my marriage before him but i am the opitimum of a single parent, no child support, no contact, no visits, no calls, etc. And I love it this way.
I went into this relationship thinking that dating a man with a kid would be similar. Boy was i wrong!
Him and her had an abnormally close relationship, there was no court ordered support but he paid the majority of her bills and when he seen his son, it was always at his place.
Well, anyways, to prove he was crazy about me and serious, i met the kid about a week into us meeting. I may have a kid but I'm not a big fan of other children and this one was no different. Rambunctious, loud, in general the awful kid you see at Wal-Mart. But love blinded us and we thought we could get past any baby mama issues, kids issues, everything.
About a month in we had a silly spat and upon a visit to his 'kid', he slept with her. Not to my knowledge at the time. We went on about a year happily when I found old emails referring to that specific discretion over a year ago.
I'm a fireball and went off on him and called him out. I felt humiliated that i had suffered through spending time with this awful woman and their child all the while they both knew what they had done. It just seemed like a slap in my face. He knew that i didn't trust very easily from past relationships. He knew that there were always problems regarding her and her constant texting and calling and boohooing because she still loved him. I thought we were together in this constant war against her and her stupid hurt feelings because she didn't know how to grow ip and move on. Now, i find out that she had reasons to act that way because he proved that he would still have sex with her and baby her even though he was supposedly 'with' me.
Here we are two years later and because of the drama that's involved with her and the kid, his visits with him are slim to none. Only time he sees him is when he takes secret vacation days to visit him without me. He just cries that he misses his son but has never once put her in her place. When I'm around she kicks dents in our vehicle, calls the cops to say I kidnapped the kid even though the legal father is with me, tries to physically attack me, verbally abuses my daughter when she's in the car during pick up. It's complete craziness. And for me the torture doesn't stop once we leave because this heathen child acts just like her. He punches, spits, is mean to my child, etc.
After all of this and all of the time that has passed I'm not sure if this is worth any of it. I love my boyfriend, we want to get married but this subject is always going to be a barrier. I am to the point that i hate his child. The mere subject boils my blood. This past week he snuck away to see him and she threw a hammer through our windshield. So not only do i have to rescue him and our vehicle, i had to deal with his lies of why he was up there, deal with her showing up harrassing, spend the money to fix something that never should have been broken in the first place.... my hatred has reached a new level. I'm going through this torture for what reason?
A child who destroys everything he touches, my personal property being destroyed by his trashy mother, constant fighting with the love of my life, not to mention the hurt i have to feel every time they are around since he cheated with her, and now our family will be torn apart if i give up. Should i give up? There is no good to ever come from this. Being a single parent i look at this kid as only getting the short end of the stick. His mother will never change and he is already on the path to being just like her. I feel like if my boyfriend continues to see this child, our lives will only get worse. He only sees him about 3 times a year and still the drama gets worse every time. I need opinions, i don't know where to go any more.