Cheating husband

Goonum - posted on 03/19/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Please advise me on how to cope with a cheating husband. We are married for 35 years and have 3 adult children that do not live with us. I am 57 and he is 58. He has been cheating throughout our marriage. I suspected a few times but he denied it because i didnt have enough proof. He then had a crush on my best friend and acted on it and got caught. I am having psychiatric counselling but am still struggling to cope. I decided not to leave because I believe he robbed me of my life in the 35 years we were married and earned respect because of me. Now i demand that he does everything that a husband should do and i am not going to tell me children yet. they will be devastated. they will not believe that this has happenend.

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Jenn - posted on 03/20/2013

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He would be out of my house... You can not allow this. You are better than that and deserve better. Find it in you to separate. You don't need a man like that...teach him a lesson at the very very least. And I agree..I think your grown children would find it repulsing that he would do this to their mother.

Goonum - posted on 03/20/2013

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I am not looking for a relationship. I am ok with me. But I cannot cope with the cheating. And he wont leave me. My home is his comfort zone.

I am devastated. I am on medication for depression and taking tabs to sleep.

Goonum - posted on 03/20/2013

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you are absolutely right. i will never trust him ever again. While having thses affairs he chose to come home. At home he was a good father but not so good husband. He aways pu me down but I stood up to him and never allowed it to continue. He is a very unstable character.

At this stage i n my life I am not ready to let him go. But i am having counselling by a psychiatrist. The advice is " lets do this once more " if he strays then thats it.

For now I have him at my beck and call. He is totally embarrased that he got caught and cannot lie about it.

Michelle - posted on 03/19/2013

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I agree with Little Miss. You need to stand up and let him know it's not acceptable for him to treat you like that.

How about instead of looking at your marriage negatively look at it in a way that it produced your children and made you even more determined of what not to fall for in the future.

You're still young enough to find a special man that will treat you as you deserve to be treated instead of demanding that someone who doesn't want to be with you treat you. Why live in an unhappy marriage? You're children will get over it, they will probably more angry at their Father for treating you like this.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/19/2013

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I don't see how you demanding anything from this man is going to change him.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/19/2013

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Well, you staying with him is essentially telling him it is ok to cheat. He is probably going to continue to cheat. I am glad you are seeking help, but it sounds like you should be also going to therapy as a couple. Your children are not kids anymore. They will probably give you more support than you could possibly dream of.

He may have robbed you of the past 35 years, are you going to let him rob you of the rest of your life? You will never be able to trust him again.

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