Carlito - posted on 01/12/2014
Jodi, that was to the point, she may not have enough courage to do that right now and it is the right solution if he doesn't want her, but can you get a cheating husband to be honest if he wants them both or doesn't know what he wants, but you are right in what you say because he has moved away from his commitment to her, the question is is this marriage savable, is it worth it to her, he has what I call formed behavior pattern where if he disrespects her now he might be a good boy for a while but when things get tough he'll revert back to his formed behavior pattern and cheat because he in essence got away with it and he will think I can do this again, not to say that he can't do and about face but it is highly unlikely he will but it can happen but she will be rolling the dice at the scrap table of life and too many times they seem to crap out.
Carlito - posted on 01/12/2014
If, you know he's cheating, the first question to ask yourself is what part am I playing in this, the answer should be none, what you have is a immature, selfish, self centered, uncaring, not committed to the promise he made before you and GOD, you have a little boy in a man's body, the problem I have with marriages today is it is used like a disposable razor when it gets dull we throw it away, we seem to gravitate to things that shine like the honeymoon period of a relationship or marriage, when it's time to roll your sleeves up and work at it we tend to run away or throw it away, you my dear are a queen who should be treated as such, he on the other hand has no marriage skills, if there's a problem the both of you should work on it, no one can love by themselves and you should find out if he still committed to your marriage, the thing about cheating husbands is they tend not to want to talk because they are the ones who are wrong, try to see if he would be willing to go to a marriage counselor and get counseling, if not then you have to look at whether you want to be his doormat, or his second, you my dear deserve to be anyone's first. If he wants you and the marriage he has to apply the same energy he put into cheating on you to saving his marriage, this is from a man but not like him, we man tend to think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence till we get there, we like what we see and tell ourselves that pretty woman is what I want, men are too visual for their own good, did I say that, we run to stolen moments with other women because we think she has something better or different that the one at home and yes we fool ourselves and make a fool out of ourselves and our wives, COMMUNICATION is the biggest key to any relationship or marriage and honesty with that communication, if we just stop before things get out of hand and say how am I doing is there anything I need to work on, that starts the solution to the problem, we tend to complicate things in life, we tend to run or ignore things we NEED to work on. when, things get dull we need to learn how to be creative with our spouse instead of hurting them with our negative actions, believe me one woman is one hundred women in one, if you are creative enough to see and make it happen, role play, meet up some where and act like you are meeting for the first time and go from there where ever it takes you, and you as his wife don't look common around your man YOU are creating a roving eye in him, be beautiful for no other reason than you want to be pretty for your man and if he doesn't notices than that's on him, take pride in yourself, you are not doing it for him you are doing it for YOU, you can't change stupid, if he's stupid then there's something wrong with him, he on the other hand should try to look his best for you and not do the sex thing the same way place and time every time, BORING, BORING,BORING, and the both of you should talk about what really pleases you, who but you know your body but you, but you should learn each other so there's much more fun and pleasure when you do do it together, if you don't see there's another chance for your marriage then you must create a cutoff point in this and seek a divorce, don't punish yourself and sometime we don't give ourselves enough credit for our ability to overcome our problems, well, I think I just about covered everything, I care about you and your situation and hope you all the best of luck and you do control your luck in a marriage. GOOD LUCK
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