Child comes back from fathers and had to go to hospital what to do?

Chelsea - posted on 12/16/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm extremely upset right now. My daughters father and I are separated and he gets an overnight every Saturday. She had not been feeling well when she went and I told him to please make sure she got plenty of rest and not to take her out, because I didn't want to risk her getting any sicker. He rolled his eyes and said ok. I also told him to call me if she got worse. I have sole custody and he was told by our judge that he is suppose to notify me in times such as these. When she was returned to me she was extremely sick. She was coughing and throwing up. I had found out from some friends that he and his not so wonderful girlfriend ( she has been teaching my daughter I am not her mother and she is) had taken her out until eleven o o'clock Saturday night, they had posted this on Facebook. My daughter is on a schedule and her bedtime is 8. I took her to the hospital and discovered she has whooping cough and the hospital had to put her on a antibiotic and a ventilator when she got there. I was so upset, I called him immediately and he confirmed he was out with her all night and that I can just get over it and that heard his gf will do what they want. What can I do?? Is this neglect, in my eyes them disregarding her health is! I can't afford court again so what can Ido? Very worried mother right now.

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Dove - posted on 12/16/2012

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Other than documenting everything and going back to court... unfortunately, nothing. If they are going to do whatever they want anyway.... you telling them what to do or not to do will make it worse for your child. If you have to send her sick.... document exactly how she is when you send her... and exactly how she is when she is returned. If you have to take her to the hospital when you get her back.... get a copy of the medical records and document that too.

I'm sorry! The lack of power and concern for your child's health and well being is hard to deal with in situations like this.

Chelsea - posted on 12/16/2012

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I unfortunately cannot not send her, he has made up things in court claiming I refuse to send her all the time when I do and I have proof at hand. I am court ordered to send her and even if she was sick he still wants her. The hospital said that her orignal cough had developed into whooping cough and had to have been Saturday because it was still an early stage of the the infection, this process is a very hard one for me.

Michelle - posted on 12/16/2012

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If it's whooping cough then she probably had it before she went to her dad's and it just got worse. You can't blame them for that.

As for staying out late, I'm thinking they are the type of people that will do the exact opposite of what you ask them to do. Just the fact you asked them to have an early night made them go out late. Just from what you have written I feel that that's what they will always do.

In future, if your daughter isn't 100% then don't send her. That way you know she'll be looked after properly.

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