Child Custody

Alaina - posted on 11/20/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 1 1/2. Her father just filed for custody. I do not want to fight him on it he doesn't live close and is living with his girlfriend who fully supports him. He doesn't have a job and has only known the girl 4 month 2 of which he was still with me and 1 he was in jail. He has been in jail for more then half her life. His mother currently has visitation every other Saturday night and every other Tuesday for 2 hours. As i said, i have no intention on keeping her from him. Id just prefer he come and stay at his mothers to have her. Not only do i not know this girl he is living with but honestly he hardly does and also as i said he is not working, she is fully supporting him and i don't want to just hope she will support my child as well.

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Michelle - posted on 11/20/2015

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Unless your child is in danger (and you have proof) then you probably won't get supervised visitation. Just because he has been to jail, doesn't make him an unfit parent.
Just because you don't know the new girlfriend doesn't warrant supervised visitation either.
If you have a lawyer then ask them these questions. They will know what usually happens where you live and what you can expect. Being an international site, you will get differing opinions here (yes, just opinions since we have no idea what the judge will rule) and they may not be correct for your situation.

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Raye - posted on 11/20/2015

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His having gone to jail is probably not much of a reason to limit his visitation, unless it had to do with child abuse. You can make the court aware that his home life is unstable, his poor decision making has led to jail time, and that he hasn't been in the child's life for the past however many months, and you can "request" supervised visits in the beginning to have peace of mind of how he will care for the child. Don't go in upset, making accusations, and demanding. Be calm, be factual, and be reasonable and respectful. The judge may not grant limited or supervised visits. But if you never even ask, and just give the father whatever time he wants, then you never know.

You should really speak to your lawyer. And if they don't know what you can request or what is likely to be granted in similar circumstances, then they need to be finding out or you should get a different lawyer that is more familiar with custody cases. Generally, if you have a halfway decent lawyer and the other party is self-represented, then you would have the upper hand.

If you want to know his GF because she will be around your child, then you should reach out to them and try to discuss the situation. You can all go to mediation for the custody hearing, or meet in a public place or with a neutral person there with you to keep everything civil. If she doesn't want to meet, then don't consider that anything personal against you. Just deal with the father as best as you can.

MaryAnn - posted on 11/20/2015

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Unless YOU moved your daughter away, you are under no obligation to bring her there. We cant say what a judge would make of his situation, but SHE is not a reason for supervised visit, and neither is the distance.

Alaina - posted on 11/20/2015

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Thank you. Its not so much being around her, its that I do not know her and I don't want to just sit and hope while she is there that this women will provide everything my daughter needs. if he had a job and was providing for himself Id feel different but he does and isn't on the lease for the apartment they live in so i just don't see it as a stable home. Also he doesn't drive and they live an hour away. I am just comfortable putting my childs needs and well being in the hand of this women i don't know. Do you think it would be possible to push for reduced or supervised visitation considering he has been in and out of jail and can't even support himself? He is representing himself, no lawyer. I have a lawyer so i feel like i will have the upper hand.

Raye - posted on 11/20/2015

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If the child's father gets any form of visitation or custody, you cannot dictate who else he has in his life and who else will be around his child when he has her with him. I understand your concerns and agree that his situation is not the best. But if you're not willing to push for reduced visitation or supervised visitation, then you really have even less say in the matter, because then you are just giving away more time that the child will have there with whomever he pleases. Whatever the court orders say, you have to abide by them. So make sure your concerns are heard in court now.

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