Child Custody Battle

Mommy - posted on 04/15/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a 11 month old daughter of which her father and I separated when she was two months old. He would come around every now and then after separation but refused to help out. I filed for child support through the Attorney General and he missed mediation. Of which I was waiting on a court date. Within that timeframe he filed a SAPCR for full custody of our daughter. We went to court and the judge granted him a lot of visitation and ordered child support for the temporary order. I currently have sole physical custody but we are joint managing conservators. The temporary order has been in place for almost two months of which I have not received any child support. He has been unemployed for a year and currently stays with a relative. He recently told me that these are temporary orders and despite them already granting the standard possession and then expanded schedule a few months later, he will not be paying child support for 18 years because he is going for 50/50 custody. I currently have an attorney but with him being the father, is there anything I can do in regards to custody because won't he more than likely be granted it being the biological father?

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Mommy - posted on 04/16/2015

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That's my point also. He was able to have her every weekend for 2 months straight as well and now is asking for more time a temporary basis from me but was unwilling to work with me before. The whole situation is ridiculous. I just pray for strength to get through this. Thanks for your feedback.

Raye - posted on 04/16/2015

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You should not have to drop her off and pick her up every time they have visitation. It's HIS visitation time, he should meet half way or you drop off and he brings her back. It should not all fall on you. If he doesn't have a job, he should have plenty of time to come get her and then bring her back to you.

It is horrible when people don't want to be responsible for their children. It's not only fathers, it's some mothers too.

Mommy - posted on 04/15/2015

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Yes and I am slowly finding that out how little they do in regards to enforcing that under certain circumstances however they are quick to enforce visitation rights. Which is even worse for me because I work full time and have to take her to him and pick her up for visits. I feel like I was penalized for taking full responsibility in caring for our child with no help and he's been awarded by simply doing NOTHING.

I agree with you 100% because that what he's viewing it as ... a bargaining chip and once the order is in place and if he's awarded 50/50. I'm sure the exercising of the visitation rights will slowly cease especially once he starts working and has to pay for child care expenses and etc just as long as I don't receive any child support assistance for her. Which means more attorney fees to go back to court for a modification. That is why so many women just let it go. I now see why.

Raye - posted on 04/15/2015

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If he is unemployed, then they can't garnish his wages to make him pay. Many parents have found, that just because they are granted child support by the court, that doesn't mean they actually get it. My dad was thousands behind when I turned 18 and they never made him pay.

I don't understand how him getting 50/50 custody gets him off the hook financially. Does he not understand that he will have to buy food, clothes, toys, bedding, have higher utility bills, doctor bills, school supplies, sports fees, and everything else that takes money while the child is in his care? A child is not a bargaining chip or a possession to be used to manipulate someone into getting your way. That's despicable for people to think that way.

Dove - posted on 04/15/2015

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It is better (generally speaking.. based on research) for a child to have equal access to both parents. Given her age the judge may rule to make the transition slowly, but there is no way to really predict what a judge will rule. If you have a lawyer... they would be the best person to direct your questions about your case to here... but even they can not always tell you what a judge will rule.

Mommy - posted on 04/15/2015

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I figured that unfortunately. So even though with temporary orders they provided the expanded; he can easily get 50/50 if requested at the final trial although we are not in agreement and she is so young? Would they not consider factors such as whats best for the child - needing stability and the ill effects of the constant back and forth related to the child's emotional needs?

Dove - posted on 04/15/2015

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Unless there is solid evidence (like abuse/neglect, criminal record for drugs/violence) to cause a judge to rule otherwise.... 50/50 custody is fairly standard and you should go into court expecting that to be the outcome. If it DOESN'T happen... then you can be pleasantly surprised. Custody/visitation and child support have nothing to do w/ each other.

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