CHILD CUSTODY BATTLE involving school child will attend

Erin - posted on 08/20/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Hi - I am new to this group and am hoping to get some insight on my current issue. I have a 10 yr old son who has been attending a Private school in Louisiana for 4 years against my wishes. Currently ive been sued to pay for said school, naturally i refused and requested have my son attend the school district in which we reside (mississippi). (was proved to be an EXCELLENT public school when we went to trial on this matter) My son has cried pleaded and begged not to attend the private school and attend the public school w local kids including his siblings, however his biological father insists he attend the private school. (that he says is causing a financial burden on him, which is why he sued me to pay for it). after trial judge ordered my son to attend the private school for an additional 5 yrs then i can transfer him in highschool to whereever i wanted ( i have full physical custody). and that bio dad was ordered to pay all expenses of said school as well as being liable for getting him there and back. since then, my son has screamed and cried saying he hates his dad and he wants to burn the school down, blow it up with bombs, etc. i would like some input as to your thoughts. whats more important? the childhood happiness and health of the child or the social status of the bio dad? i am very disturbed, sickened and worried about my son. he hates his life.

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Erin - posted on 08/21/2014

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thank you so much for the encouraging words.... i am definitely following through with the counselor. we have an appt monday. i have him keep a journal which has given me the insite of all the anger (he doesnt know i read it). ive been scared to confront him about it. i didnt know what to even say. i do tell him and show him daily our love for him and that no matter what i will always be here for him. hes very shy, so its hard to get him to open up but i dont push the issue. im just worried at this young of age it is steering him in the suicidal direction

Rebecca - posted on 08/21/2014

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Lots of kids go counseling. Put your precious son to counseling before it's too late. Some children hate their parents and blows up repeatedly, I know that. My friend's daughter is 13 and she's...suicidal. I was shocked to here that her daughter Ellery is wanting to kill herself because she's so polite and she is always nice to my 12 year old daughter. Get him a therapist. It will help. The most important thing is to have your son talk with you alone privately. Tell him that he's the most important person in your life, and you're worried and disturbed about him. I wouldn't confront your son about hating his dad, blowing the school up, throw it into bombs though. He'll get over that. Also, 10 is about time preteens start puberty. They get irritable and they say lots of hurtful things that they never meant. My daughter cries for at least once a day and she is like that too.

Dove - posted on 08/20/2014

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♥ Poor little guy!! I don't care how good of a school it is.... boarding school is no place for an elementary school child. I'm so sorry you guys are going through this. I hope you can find a way to get him out of there.

Erin - posted on 08/20/2014

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The private school is along the lines of military boarding school. My son was always in after school detention for random silly things, outcasted by the children bc he didnt live around there, severly reprimanded for a missed homework assignment or forgotten book etc.... I saw he was unhappy 2 yrs ago so have been attempting to do something about it since then. He sees how involved my husband are i are in our other childrens school and activities, he sees how much our other kids love school and i think it has progressively gotten worse. The school is 45 mins from where we reside. I get the "its not fair, why did they do that to me, but no so and so..., we arent allowed to have fun, the kids laugh at me, i dont have any friends".

Dove - posted on 08/20/2014

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I have no idea what a counselor may or may not be able to accomplish in court, but if your son is so distraught over this decision that he wants to blow up the school.... you need to get him into counseling asap.

Why does your son hate this school so much? Does it have anything to do w/ the fact that his mother has spent the past 4 years not wanting him in there? Or is this emotional reaction coming from JUST him and wanting to be w/ his siblings... or something more going on at the school causing him to hate it?

A counselor can help get to the bottom of it all and help your son to accept that this is where he is going to go no matter what... unless the counselor can prove that the school is a detriment to your son. Either way... counseling is needed here.

Erin - posted on 08/20/2014

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He has an appointed attorney who testified in court that "he hates the private school and wants to go to school w his brothers and sister, he made that very clear to me, but if i had somoone who was paying for my child to attend a private school, i would make them go, when i was 10 yrs old i didnt have a choice of schools"

Do you think a counselor could "overturn" the decision? I tried explaining to the bio dad what he has done to his son, but i get the typical "im to blame" crap, he refuses to listen. I think he doesnt care :(

Dove - posted on 08/20/2014

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Get your son into counseling w/ someone who will testify in court on the child's behalf. The judge's ruling seems completely absurd and I would be having my lawyer doing some serious digging to help this child out.

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