Child Custody-Unfair, absurd ruling for deadbeat dad

Gena - posted on 09/08/2017 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I left my ex while I was pregnant with his child because he physically abused me. I ended up having to get an injunction afterwards to keep him away. After our son was born, he did nothing for him and did not try to assist me in supporting him. He did not buy diapers nor even a can of milk for his whole 10 months of life. Only when DCF informed him that they were taking action against him and pursuing a child support case did he take action. He hired a lawyer and filed for establishment of paternity, visitation, etc... A magistrate granted immediate weekend visitation and a weekday. She did this without ensuring that my was mentally stable, that he had the means, know-how, and necessities to care for my baby. After the first weekend visit, my baby came back different. He has been crying all time, doesn't want me to put him down, and he won't let me out of his sight. Now, whenever my ex's visits with him are over, he won't return him to me when he's supposed to. He has done this twice now and the police won't really get involved. I need help. What should I do? He has a prestigiuous, knowledgeable, dirty lawyer working for him!

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Ronnie - posted on 09/11/2017

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oh i totally feel where your coming from. I have a 6 yr old and left her dad when she was a little over 2. To this day i am still battling him in court. We initally had 50/50 everything untill he violated the orders on numerous times.I would call the cops and he wouldnt open the door and the cops are not able to enter his property if he doesnt let them (Ca Law). They told me i would have to take it up w court, which i did. I filed for at least 3 emergency hearing and finally the judge granted me Temp custody untill the next hearing a month later. THen he got his 50/50 back. Then kept her for a more weeks at a time on 2 seperate occasions. The judge finally gave sole custody and granted him 8 hours a week for supervised visitation. & months have passed and he has NOT set up one visit. We went back to court and he just gave excuses after excuses and now i have to pay for half of the visits. i seriously dont get this court system at all

Ev - posted on 09/09/2017

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I have to agree with Michelle. It is not about your feelings for the dad of your child it is about the child. It will take time for the baby to get used to dad. A few times of visits is not enough. It is also an adjustment period for all of you. He does after all have rights to parent and care for the child.

What makes you think he is not stable and able to take care of a baby? You were no expert when you gave birth.

Michelle - posted on 09/09/2017

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Okay, so you had an injunction on him yet you expected him to see his child and help out. You can't have the best of both worlds.
Onto the visitation, if you have court papers saying he has to return your child at a certain time and he doesn't then you go back to court. You have to make sure you have proof though, you just saying he is late won't cut it.
Talk to your lawyer about what you need to do but unless he is harming his child then you won't get away from visitations. I suggest you get used to it and learn to help your son adjust to them as well.

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