Child Custody/Visitation

Trisha - posted on 08/11/2013 ( 65 moms have responded )

0

0

0

I just had a baby on July 17th, his dad wants to take him and keep him overnight. I am nursing the baby at this point. We were never married and this baby came on birth control. If this has to go to court in Colorado what should I expect? Will they really grant overnight stays for an infant? He also is not willingly wanting to finantially help out

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Child support has nothing to dfo with visitation. Just to let you know. I live in Colorado myself. They will usually not allow the child to be taken that young overnight if you are breastfeeding. If you live in another state then you need to go through your court systems. Talk to a lawyer and see what your options are!! The baby is too young to be away from you this early. He should understand that! I would be taking him to court and to see how serious he is about it! He needs to help support the baby even if it was an accident. It's his child too. My ex doesn't see our child but pay child support. I have full parental responsibility for her(custody). That's what it's called in CO, parental responsibility. Good luck!!

Rebecca - posted on 08/17/2013

23

0

2

Overnight visits are not recommended for children under 2. More frequent short visits are better for both baby and other parent. Babies need consistency and really do better sleeping in the same environment. I would get a lawyer and have something from a child psychologist who deals with child development in infants and toddlers

Stacy - posted on 08/15/2013

1

4

0

States must all follow Federal guidelines when it comes to support and they have separated support from parenting time. Meaning the visitation will be based upon what the court and friend of the court feel is in the best interest of the infant regardless if he is paying any support or is behind in support at the time. The best thing to do is offer reasonable time for him to see the child in your home with you there. If he refuses document every time so you can let the court know how much time you have tried to allow him. As the father they will give him parenting time. It's hard but this way you will be able to see how he interacts with your child and you will become more comfortable over time. My girls were 3 and 6 mos when we went through this they are now 17 and 14. You will get through it and so will your child and his dad. Best advise I can give Never ever fight over holidays. Who ever is doing the big party/get together let him go their or split the day. The child will thank you later. We've been doing that for years.

Karen - posted on 08/15/2013

68

14

3

Is he on the birth certificate? If so, I suggest you get into court asap and file for custody and child support. If you don't file for custody he could take the child and not return the child to you.

Heather - posted on 08/15/2013

180

21

24

In most states his right to see his child is considered a seperate issue from his responsibility to pay child support. If it does go to court you are going to want to check intot he laws in your state ahead of time. I think that you may be able to refuse becaue of the young age, but many breast feeding moms express milk so the child can be left with a sitter, if you do that to leave the baby with someone else for an evening or with grandparents overnight to have a break, the court will think you are just being mean and things won't go well.

65 Comments

View replies by

Abcprintingweddings - posted on 04/27/2014

36

0

0

Wana sign my Petition? I'm going to try to change visitation rights that no over nights with the noncustodial parent take place until the age of 3 or 4. I'm sorry if this gets some dads upset, but I'm fighting to protect my daughter. I have put a petition together for you to sign. Please do so by going to this site and sign it and share it PLEASE!!..I will have proof of how it effects our children. I need 2000 signatures! Thank you so much!! http://www.thepetitionsite.com/281/518/8...

Lori - posted on 11/26/2013

33

7

1

First off a mother who nurses has to do it regularly to establish her supply. Plus u don't want to offer bottles too soon with the possibility of nipple confusion. Not all babies even take bottle once they have been Breastfeeding. I have a friend whose son is a yr old n still refuses anything but his mom. R u really gonna possibly stress the baby n jeapodize mom's milk supply just so dad can have overnights? he can have visitation n bond without overnights. Not everyone can keep supply up by pumping alone. I had to have my baby nurse more throughout the day which included waking him cuz my supply was dwindling. If breast is best then the baby's needs should come first!!! The dad should stop being a selfish prick n both parties should compromise for him to have regular weekly visits that work for everyone ESP the baby.

Laura - posted on 11/26/2013

4

0

1

A baby needs to bond with its mother first, especially when nursing the baby, attachment is so important at this stage, baby needs stability and security, so i would let see the baby for a short visit while i was present. No overnights.

Amanda - posted on 11/25/2013

14

0

4

Definitely get the best lawyer that you can. And I don't believe a child who is under the age of 1 year is expected to stay over night with a visiting parent and especially if the child is being breastfed. I'm thinking a 6 hour maximum visitation one day a week, possibly on a Saturday or Sunday. Also if the father isn't paying support then you possibly may not have to give him any visitation. Good luck to you and your child. BLESS YOU. PRAY AND TRUST IN GOD.

Monica - posted on 11/25/2013

32

0

0

I would not allow him to take the baby overnight. the baby needs to stay with you and the baby will not do well being away from momma. you are breastfeeding and the baby needs around the clock attention. sounds to me like he is immature and who knows what else. I agree talk to a lawyer and find out your rights in your state. if you think he is good with the baby, you can let him come over and spend time with you and the baby while you are there. he needs to be paying child support to you, so again talk to a lawyer.
The boys like to have fun...but not take responsibility, so if you need to go to court find out your rights from a lawyer first. see if you can find a legal aid attorney for low income if this is your situation.
God Bless and may God be with you thru this for you and the baby...

Monica - posted on 11/25/2013

32

0

0

I would not allow him to take the baby overnight. the baby needs to stay with you and the baby will not do well being away from momma. you are breastfeeding and the baby needs around the clock attention. sounds to me like he is immature and who knows what else. I agree talk to a lawyer and find out your rights in your state. if you think he is good with the baby, you can let him come over and spend time with you and the baby while you are there. he needs to be paying child support to you, so again talk to a lawyer.
The boys like to have fun...but not take responsibility, so if you need to go to court find out your rights from a lawyer first. see if you can find a legal aid attorney for low income if this is your situation.
God Bless and may God be with you thru this for you and the baby...

Karen - posted on 11/25/2013

33

4

2

What's the big deal with overnight? What are they going to do-stay up and watch a movie? Why can't he pick the child up 1st thing in PJs and bring the child back at bedtime/an agreed suitable time in PJs?

Helen - posted on 11/24/2013

210

39

11

I don't know anything about Colorado law, but I would be highly surprised if any court made an overnight order for a very young breast fed baby.

It would be much better (and probably cheaper) for all of you if you could work visits and money out between you.

When you say he isn't willing to to help financially, what do you mean? That he doesn't help AT ALL, or that he doesn't help as much as you wished he would, or that he doesn't give you money, but is regularly putting money away for the baby? If he isn't helping AT ALL then that needs to be looked at (talk to him if you can, as a first step - and tell him just how expensive it is to have a child!), if one of the other options, then again talk to hi and see if you can come to an amicable agreement before getting lawyers involved.

Enjoy your baby - they grow up FAR to fast!

LalaBoom - posted on 11/22/2013

248

0

41

The chances of him getting overnight of a NEWBORN are slim to none. That is a fact. This is especially the case if you're breastfeeding. However, he IS the father, and although they probably won't grant overnights, they will give him generous visitation, and give him overnight once the child is past the six-month mark.

It doesn't sound like there are issues of abuse, so I would talk to the father and work a plan between the two of you. Maybe you can pump the milk and let him have ONE overnight a week + visitation until your child is about 6months. Then you can both increase it to your level of comfort. Put yourself in his shoes. He has a child and yet he cannot be close to his child. That is tough to deal with.

To those mothers who are so quick to point out that he isn't paying- I suggest you don't take these posts as biblical. Not saying the OP is lying AT ALL, what I'm saying is perception is different.Case in point: My husband used to give his ex between $50-$80 a week cash + plus pay for ALL diapers + pay for babysitting + purchased clothes/bottles/stroller for the baby. I know this because sometimes the $$ came out of MY paycheck and we kept all receipts. But check this out, BM said, "he doesn't support his daughter" to the courts and anyone who would listen. What she was really saying is "he doesnt give me enough money for me to not have to work and simply focus on the baby." Guess what? My husband decided to put himself on CS after realizing he couldn't stay broke every month, but in NY you can't. He petitioned the judge and the judge had to ORDER her to file for CS (hmmm, I wonder why she wouldn't want to put this ATM on CS?????). Want to know the outcome? The courts granted her a 201$ monthly judgement, thats it. WAAAAAAAAAY less than what he was paying before. Needless to say she was pissed. Nowadays, she STILL says he doesn't pay, but at least we have COURT records (and our own receipts) that shows he IS in fact making financial contribution.

Hope that helps! Congrats on the new baby :)

Missy - posted on 08/19/2013

1

0

0

Call an attorney! You didn't say if the father's name is on the birth certificate or not. In many states, this is important as a judge may require a paternity test before either granting visitation or ordering child support. This could literally take months because of the backlog of cases in most states. Is he a father of any other children? If so, he should be aware of how difficult taking care of an infant is, if not, don't be surprised if he calls you 2 hours after getting the baby and says, "HELP!" He may not be as prepared for overnight visitation as he thinks!

Charlottle - posted on 08/18/2013

11

4

1

im not sure were you live but a lot of places babys do not spend the night till they are older. if you are breast feeding then I think that is taken in consideration. check with legal aide in your state

Christine - posted on 08/18/2013

3

0

0

If you nursing you baby . His dad should have consideration and enough respect for you not to ask to keep the baby overnight If you were to go to court
I don't think a Judge in his right mind would let him do that.

Paula - posted on 08/18/2013

1

15

0

If daddy isn't willing to help financially support his child how would it be in the best interest of the child to spend time with him?? A parent that does care if the child has thing that they need should not be able to be with them.. I know many states don't support this, daddy needs to be a man and support his child...

Mary - posted on 08/18/2013

7

0

0

Don't allow him to do that because ur baby is an infant. Let him wait until ur baby is 8 months. Court can't grant him that. They will understand.

Rebecca - posted on 08/17/2013

23

0

2

I have my granddaughter and have had her since birth. Her father kept trying to push overnight visits and the court denied them because of the negative effects it would have on her.

Patricia - posted on 08/17/2013

6

0

2

Tricia is wanting to know what to expect if it goes to court. You ladies are arguing about something totally different than what she asked about. Tricia if you want to know what to expect truly from your state if you go to court. contact a family attorney. They give free consultations and will answer all of your questions. in the state of Texas it doesn't matter whether the daddy is financially responsible for the child or not. The court will still let them have visitation.

Jodi - posted on 08/17/2013

3,560

36

3907

Actually, there is no violation in using the term fucked up on here. If I'd told you that you'd fucked up, then that is one thing, but I didn't direct my language at you.

And I HAVE read the OP, and believe she should find a way to accommodate occasional overnight visits for her child once she has established breastfeeding and able to find ways to express milk. There is absolutely nothing WRONG with suggesting that as an option. How is overnight any different to allowing a father to take a child for a day? It isn't. She would still have to express milk for that purpose. Generally breastfeeding is well established by 6 months, and at that point, there is no reason not to start exploring options for dad to be involved overnight as well.

Heck, I had to express feed my child, whom I was away from overnight from birth, so please, don't try to tell me it can't and shouldn't be done. If a mother TRULY wanted the relationship between father and child to be established, she would find a way to work it out so that overnights could be introduced as an option in the short term rather than the long. I have never suggested newborn, but I have suggested once breastfeeding has been well established. And no studies will waver me from that stance, because I could also throw studies at you about the importance of an early relationship with a father.

Paula - posted on 08/17/2013

34

0

0

I still believe you are missing the point. Place re-read the original question. I have been simply stating FACTS FROM STUDIES IN RELATION TO THE ACCESS VISITS, as per the original question. Google them if you want. Nothing personal, god! And please, keep your language clean or we may report you. This is a Forum. Not a political tirade to vent on.

Jodi - posted on 08/17/2013

3,560

36

3907

Actually, I never suggested she should pump for overnight access, I was suggesting she should find a balance between what is in the best interests of the child and allowing the child to have a strong relationship with the father, which MAY include some overnight access once breastfeeding has been established. I also never suggested anything about pumping, freezing and thawing. Again, yet another poster putting words in my mouth.

So what about a child whose mother dies and only has its father for establishing health and nutrition. Are you suggesting that child is having a sub-standard upbringing? A father is equally as important in a child's life, and should be treated as such. I am suggesting that every effort should be made by the mother to ensure the father has the opportunity to equally develop a relationship with the child. It isn't a black and white situation. What is best for the baby is dependent on the individual circumstances of each child and each family.

Are you suggesting that no child under the age of 18 months should be left overnight with ANYONE? How utterly ridiculous! What a terrible mother I must have been!!! I must have really fucked my kids up!!

What it comes down to is what works for the child. And that won't be the same for every child or every family. And THAT, my dear, is why we have family courts, because it isn't up to the mother to decide.

Paula - posted on 08/17/2013

34

0

0

Breast feeding is natural and the best source of food/nutrition for baby. Saying that, not all babies will take breast milk if its has been pumped, frozen and then thawed, which by your definition of this issue is that mothers should pump for overnight access visits. However, the real issue here is how old before overnights start and the minimum age. Studies have shown that babies should NOT be separated from their mother until AT LEAST 18mths. This allows mothers to establish the babies nutrition and health and sleeping habits without interruption, and without trauma to the baby being separated for so long without its mother. And I can tell you, as a mother who breastfed for 22mths, and have gone through the drama of the courts, that any judge will not allow a baby be taken from the mother in the the first year of life, unless there this proof of neglect and harm.

Jodi - posted on 08/16/2013

3,560

36

3907

My (and your) situations are irrelevant to the OP. As I said, you have no idea about me, and therefore no right to make any assumptions or supposedly educated guesses, and this post is not about me so it really doesn't matter one way or the other whether I have left my breastfeeding under 6 month old with others overnight for whatever reason it may have been.

I merely used your comment as an example because it happened to be on the same page I was posting. You weren't the only one to use such terminology. I actually never said you weren't thinking of your child's best interests in your situation because this thread isn't about you. My advice about this was to the OP. Not what I assumed you did OR what I assume she would do, but because it has been done by others before and it shouldn't be. I wasn't even addressing YOU in my post FFS. If had been been, I would have actually called you out by name.

Carol - posted on 08/16/2013

3

0

0

Jodi, I only asked if you were in (or had been in) Trisha's situation. I did (and still do) believe you have not been. That is not "judging" you, I was merely asking you a question. Now where are my "many, many assumptions" about you? I see only one educated guess. And yes, you did make an assumption about me, that I was not thinking of the child's best interest. You "assumed" that b/c you didn't like the word "prevent". Just ironic that you accused me of doing exactly what you had just done to me. (And if you think I took it personal, maybe it's b/c you took a quote from my comment.)

Jodi - posted on 08/16/2013

3,560

36

3907

I wasn't judging you Carol, I was simply saying that the terminology being used was perhaps not appropriate. I would appreciate if you didn't judge me. You have no idea what my background is, you just made many, many assumptions in your post. I made none about you personally. I simply made comment about what that type of terminology actually indicates. Don't take it so personally.

Carol - posted on 08/16/2013

3

0

0

Just b/c I used the word "prevent", it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking of what was or is best for the child! Were you divorced with an infant (& breast fed)??? I am sure NOT! When I was in court, making my case, I was only thinking of what was best for my child! If you are a mother and if you did breast feed, then you would know how deep and strong a baby's bond is with his/her mother. Babies who nurse usually LOVE to nurse and they nurse often. I think it would be very traumatic to the baby to be taken away from the mom for that long of a period (all night) during the first year. And obviously Judges and courts often agree with that, as my arrangement was fairly standard for breast feeding infants in divorced situations.

Jodi - posted on 08/16/2013

3,560

36

3907

Oh, I agree, I think it is up to a court to decide, not the mother. But support and visitation are treated as two separate issues. She gets support regardless, and needs to establish this. But for the sake of the child's right to a relationship with both parents, it is irrelevant to the visitation issue.

I was simply pointing out that using breastfeeding as a way of preventing overnight visits is different to actually working towards an outcome in the best interests of the child. The terms "prevent" and "not allow" have come up a lot in relation to this issue, and it indicates a perspective of self interest.

Christina - posted on 08/16/2013

22

17

1

I see your point about manipulating the fact that she's breastfeeding to prevent overnight visits. However, if he's already stating that he doesn't want to help financially what does that say about him? He needs to act as a parent, not a baby-sitter. In my opinion they should go to the court to set up a visitation schedule that works for both of them, as well as establish financial support. Its one thing if you cant afford support, its another if you dont want to.

Jodi - posted on 08/16/2013

3,560

36

3907

I find it quite sad that many posters here are USING the breastfeeding in order to PREVENT overnights with dad. That language indicates that you are merely looking after the best interests of the mother. I quote this particular post as an example "If You Are Breastfeeding, That Should Help Prevent Overnights For Awhile." Can anyone please identify what is wrong with this statement?

You shouldn't be preventing the father from being involved, or using breastfeeding as an "excuse" to prevent anything. The issue here SHOULD be about the best interests of the child. And the fact is, the best interests of the child happens to be that mum establish breastfeeding and continue to breastfeed, but try to be as flexible as possible in providing visitation to dad. Don't USE it as a way to keep the overnights away, but rather, negotiate. Once breastfeeding is established, and you think you can pump occasionally without jeopardising your child's access to breastmilk by handing over some bottles of pumped milk, then why use the breastfeeding as an excuse?

I absolutely agree that in the first 6 months or so, this could be an issue, but don't USE it to PREVENT dad having contact. That's just wrong. It is also very selfish because your child has the right to that relationship too. I mean, really using language such as "help to prevent overnight visits" indicates a manipulative intention.

C - posted on 08/16/2013

32

0

1

My brother got divorced and was taken to the cleaners for child support for his 2 kids. He was also supposed to be getting them every other weekend and one over night during the week and his ex would not let him see the kids. It seems to me your baby's dad knows nothing of infant care, but that doesn't mean you should not encourage his involvement. Give him a chance to see the baby even if you meet up for a little while in a public space like a park just to give him a chance with you around.

Carol - posted on 08/16/2013

3

0

0

my Baby Was 9 Mo old When My Ex & I Separated. I Was Breastfeeding Too. The Judge Did Not Give My Ex Any Overnights Until She Reached Age 1 Yrs Old. He Then, Only Got One Overnight, Until She Turned 2. At 2 He Got The Typical Fri-Sun, Every Other Week, For Overnights. If You Are Breastfeeding, That Should Help Prevent Overnights For Awhile.

Christina - posted on 08/16/2013

22

17

1

If you are nursing you have all rights to refuse, and a court will agree with this. As the baby gets older you may be expected to express your milk so that the father can take him, but since he is just a newborn that won't be the expectation now.

Technically, since there is no court order, you can define the terms of the visitation. If he wants to change that, he will have to take you to court. He'd probably not want to though, as that would mean he'd become financial responsible as well. Just be careful, because if you do allow him visitation he can also do as he pleases since there is no court order (meaning, he can try to keep him longer, or not return him at all).

Heather - posted on 08/16/2013

534

65

0

No, because you are nursing, he can't keep him overnight! Nice huh! BUT, if some stupid ass judge lets him keep him overnight, then you will have to send bottles of pumped breastmilk. But from what I have heard, they won't let him keep him overnight as long as your nursing him!

Also, file for child support. File for full custody with no visitation if you want. Or day time visitation only since your nursing him. Your still going to have to send pumped BM with him either way.

Go to court. Tell him he can't see him until you both go before a judge. Tell him that if wants to see his son, then your going to file for WIC and for child support. Don't be nice about it. Cause at this point, if there's nothing in writing, he can take his son to another state or out of the country, and there would be nothing that you could do about it, because he is his dad.

User - posted on 08/16/2013

1

0

0

If he's a deadbeat dad, I doubt any court will grant him anything! I mean, you CAN force him to pay child support via the court, but then he WILL have rights to the child. Tough call! If he chooses to pay support and gets rights to see the child and keep him/her over night, all the court will recommend is that you pump the milk and provide the father with enough for the duration of the baby's stay with him. That's MY guess anyway. Good luck with your situation.

PS: IF he REALLY cares about the kid, he will WANT to help support him/her. If this is the case, it is in the child's best interest that he/she has BOTH parents involved.

Amie - posted on 08/16/2013

1

0

0

Is there anyway that the father can stay at your house with the baby and you? It's really good that he is interested and wants to spend time with his child. Try and be reasonable and work together you will have a happy child if their parents work together.

Sheila - posted on 08/15/2013

1

17

0

I have a nearly 5 month old who is only breastfeed. I am not married to her father and even though our relationship is on good terms I do not let her go with him anyplace without me. I do not feel that he will keep her from me ever but if our relationship were different I'd be 1st in line at the court house. As said before if nothing is written by the court you have to share or in some cases fight to get your child back.

Max - posted on 08/15/2013

27

7

0

I'm sorry I can't be too much help; but I nursed my 3 daughters and even though the *baby* is 21yo, I am an advocate of nursing. My oldest is 26yo, and she and all her girlfriends know that I will encourage them and help them if I can, and find them help if I can't help them myself. I recently discovered a breastfeeding support group on a very, very popular social media site. Idk if I'm allowed to post it here but I will try - it's https://www.facebook.com/BeautifulBreastfeeding. You can post your questions there or PM them and they will try to help you. I think you've gotten excellent replies here, by the way.

Ashley - posted on 08/15/2013

12

0

1

Went through a divorce and a custody battle with my ex husband do not allow him to take the child over night until y'all have a agreement on custody. By law you and the father has joint custody until another agreement is set. So by law the dad could get him and not return him if he didnt want to. The courts most likely will not give him over night visitations as long as you have your lawyer represent that you are breast feeding the baby and at the present time it will not be conducive for your child. They would then give you temporary rights and probably supervised visitation rights with you there. Good luck it can be a headache

User - posted on 08/15/2013

46

0

0

Get custody immediately! When my youngest daughter was about 6 months old, my husband at the time took my daughters for the weekend (the oldest was 3). When he got home, he called me and told me he would not return them until I filed for divorce! He had them for almost two weeks, when he was served his divorce papers! The police would not do anything because he was their father and there was no custody agreement.
File for child support as soon as possible, also. My middle daughter has two children. Their father has done very little to help support them. He walked out on her just days before she found out she was pregnant the second time. He 'says' he wants to help but makes no effort to. For their daughter she would have to plead with him to get diapers for her. He does not even acknowledge their son. Any money or anything he gives you for the baby is considered a gift, though. Child support has to go through a clearing house where they keep track how much he pays and how much he owes. He cannot give anything directly to you and say it is child support. The clearing house will not acknowledge it!
This has all been learned by experience, in more than one state. I have been in Michigan, New York, and Arizona. They all are basically the same. The most important thing is the best interest of the child. For such a young infant, very unlikely they would award overnight visits to the father, especially when the infant is nursing. It is not in the best interest for the baby. Frequent visits, maybe, but not over night.

Jaime - posted on 08/15/2013

5

24

0

There was a recent article published about overnight stays and infants. Let him know your limits discuss together whats best. Not like your gonna keep jim away if he is a good person. If you have reservations on his character then specially be firm on limits.

Leela - posted on 08/15/2013

222

0

30

Trisha your baby is young and you need to establish some ground rules before you hand your baby over. Work through the legalities and try to establish a relationship with the father as a co-parent (if possible). However, very importantly remember that you are now making decisions for two. Do not rush or allow yourself to be rushed into anything you are uncomfortable with. You have just had a baby and you need to get adjusted to a whole new life. Best wishes to all of you.

Leela - posted on 08/15/2013

222

0

30

Firstly Kristan how do you know that he is willing to be a great dad and that he will be staying up with the child? You seem to have jumped to that conclusion quickly without any real thought of the implications. The child is a new born. Suppose he goes off with the baby and doesn't return? Or hands the baby to someone else to care for who may not be aware of the baby's needs? From your post, I understand that the mother involved in your situation is over bearing and controlling. I agree that mothers should do their best to encourage their children's relationships with their fathers, but the reverse applies as well. This child is too young to be away from his mother and it appalls me the way you speak about 'lots of single mothers' and that they basically block the child's relationship with the father because its 'Easier and safer'. My goodness - that is absolutely judgemental! Best wishes with the mother you are dealing with however note that there are always 3 sides to the story and she may be saying the same thing about you.

Krystina - posted on 08/15/2013

1

0

0

No over night stays until the baby is weaned. It is irrational and irresponsible of the father to even request them as they are most definitely not in the best interest of the child. Involved...yes. frequent visitation..yes..over night stays NO

Wendianne - posted on 08/15/2013

5

0

0

I would not allow ANYONE to take my 4 week old baby overnight. The baby needs to be with you for not only eating but bonding. Just SAY NO! I'd tell the Dad that if he wanted to start paying regular child support like $100 a week then I'd let him have the baby overnight when the baby is 6 months old.
Good Luck!

Chelycookiemonster93 - posted on 08/15/2013

1

0

0

In Nevada I can't even go to court until my son is 6 months old and by that time I have sole custody. Over nights wouldn't be aloud until the Cory feels like he has done his part and is consistent and following the rules with visitation. It's all very stressful I know. It sucks. I just got child support done and until it goes through I haven't received a dime and yet I let him come and see my son whenever it is conveintant for him, or at least I try. So I would get child support done first ( welfare will do it for free if you cannot afford the costs of everything) and then I would look into custody arrangements. Like someone said, document EVERYTHING!! I have kept a log of what he has gotten my son and the dates and times he has seen him and I kept all of my receipts. Food, housing, baby needs. I hope you get everything resolved and that baby is in the best situation and environment. God bless.

Nicole - posted on 08/15/2013

6

4

0

There was an article written that states that overnight's away from the primary caregiver are bad for the child... do a search for it... I have it in my agreement that no overnight visits are allowed at this time, and my baby is 17 almost 18 months.

Karin - posted on 08/14/2013

64

5

5

I was just reading about this for a friend's divorce and they take age into account on overnights. I would just say that if you go to court, then you will want to be open to daytime visits - it will make you look very accommodating. :D

You may want to check out this site from CO. https://childsupport.state.co.us/siteuser/do/vfs/Frag?file=/cm:home.jsp

Even though he doesn't want to do financial support, document EVERYTHING and keep a record of how much money he has given you or what he has bought for the baby and what you spend the money on.

Good luck!

Paula - posted on 08/14/2013

34

0

0

I agree with some statements about expressing breast milk. But through my court process I found out something amazing! For a whole day I had expressed breast milk so I could attend court whilst my sister babysat my baby DD. I found out later that day she REFUSED all my expressed milk all day! My poor baby was starved when i got home. I told my lawyer about that which she brought up in court as a an argument against expressing and formula. We won that point!

Lisa Jayne - posted on 08/13/2013

7

0

0

they shouldnt get a worker from nursing or just a female lawyer for they cant expect you to give up what is best for the baby i know australian laws they dont the father should know better but dont be surprise if they saw to express and freeze your milk so the dad can have the baby its wrong in my eyes

Misti - posted on 08/13/2013

13

36

0

I was in a similar situtIon in texas they granted 2 hour visits 3 times a week as research shows that is best for babies after 1. Every six month vistist got longer.
But if he is on the birth certificate Do not let the father take the baby out of the house without court papers! If he takes the baby the police will do nothing. Because he is te father... It better to play it safe!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms