child support

Jodie - posted on 03/11/2012 ( 36 moms have responded )

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so we went to court for four years going thru the battle of child support and custody. I received 2 payments in 4 years and then he quits his job. What should I do to scare him to get more child support that i am owed?

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Helen - posted on 03/12/2012

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In most states there is a branch of the District Attorney's office that will collect child support free of charger, a whole group of lawyers whose job it is to do only that. They have some "scary" enforcement tools, at least in our state, including the ability to take away his driver's license if he does not pay up. Call the local District Attorney's office to see if a department of child support services or similar department exists where you are.

Laura - posted on 03/12/2012

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Keep a log of how much he owes and how much he's paid (an clean checkbook register works just fine). I live in California; our laws allowed me to file a claim of nonpayment in the county I live in currently. what you'll most likely have to do is be the facilitator for your support issues with the county; they won't be proactive for you, you will have to do it yourself and report the information to the child support enforcement agency in your area. I stayed on it relentlessly and over the years got every dime owed. The kids were grown and launched before the back support was paid. Whatever you do, don't close the case until you have everything you are owed. Once you have opened your case, his social security number will be flagged so that he won't get a tax refund, you'll get get 25% of his unemployment or disability, if he wins the lottery you will get what's owed you before anyone. Once my ex got the clue that I wasn't about to let up he became reasonably cooperative; he was good about having his wages garnished so he didn't have the annoyance of writing out a check every two weeks.

Isobel - posted on 03/12/2012

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Lori, in NY it appears that child support ends at 21, but that



"N.Y. Do . Re. Law § 240(1-b)(c )(7) provides that the court may award educational expenses, such as for college or private school or for special enriched education. A parent may not, however, be directed to pay child support and/or contribute toward college education expenses for a child who is 21 years of age or older absent express agreement to do so. See Setford v. Cavanaugh, 175 A.D.2d 665, 572 N.Y.S.2d 591 (1991)."



~http://www.ncsl.org/issues-research/huma...

Jodi - posted on 03/11/2012

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Welcome to my world. My ex quit his job last year and they now dock his unemployment benefits a whole $30 a month. Try supporting a 14 year old on that.



There really isn't anything you can do. My ex has been dodging and ducking child support for the last 12 years. He has spent years not paying, other years he pays or has it deducted from his pay, and now this. I honestly don't rely on it because I can't. The only person I can rely on is myself and my husband (my son's step-father) to make sure that my son is fully supported. No, it shouldn't have to be up to only us supporting my son, because his father should be stepping up and being responsible, but in the real world, that just isn't always the way it works.



If there is a way that his "cash under the table" job can be traced or investigated, then that is the only way you could probably take any action. But you, or someone else, needs to be able to provide some sort of proof that he is working. I know the Child Support Agency here can request an audit and look at copies of bank statements, etc, so one way they catch people out is by money in their bank accounts when there shouldn't be any because someone is claiming they aren't working. If your ex is stupid enough, he will leave some sort of trail that he is working for cash.

Kay - posted on 03/11/2012

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Damn, Teresa. I try not to swear on this site too terribly, but that is all I can say to that...

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Tee - posted on 05/19/2016

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Hi, everybody.. I have a 14 yr old bright and intelligent daughter.. She will be 15 on June 3rd.. Her father paid Childsupport on up to July 2015. He had surgery on his hand, just so he can stop working.. ( trust me it's true ) He stopped working September 2014 but I receive some Childsupport through Short Term Disability and out of his Work Comp. All that stopped when he got caught working.. (Yea, all that & I told my caseworker did nothing) She still closed my Childsupport case.. Doing the process of closing the Childsupport, which suppose to be "Suspended" not "Closed" he purchase a Lexus in 2015. April 2016, still no Childsupport he purchases a BMW. The case is closed and I moved so I applied for Childsupport in the city I'm living now.. Do anyone have any helpful tips I can give the new caseworker. I applied a week ago.. Haven't heard anything from anybody yet but I need help.. I'm taking care of my daughter all by myself.. I have 2 other kids as well.. My daughter deserves the world and sometimes I can't give it to her Bc I have no outside help.. She knows it hard for me at times, and she don't ask for much... Shes a great daughter.. she gets in no trouble, a straight A student & a positive role model for my 5 and 7 yr old daughters.. I just need some advice on how To go about all this.. Is it laws for single mothers and Childsupport.. How can a father say he can't work, he has no money but can purchase 2 cars and not pay Childsupport... And no he has no wife and house.. He lives off people, so he have no real bills, like myself.. And all his kids are grown but my daughter & a 6 yr old daughter, that he does nothing for.. He also owes me over $5000 in back Childsupport but I can't collect on anything Bc my case is closed.. All I want is advice.. Like I stated I did apply for Childsupport a week ago, I just need some kind of laws, tips or anything that will be sure enough a go for them to open my case back up.. Thanks in advance, Tee

Laura - posted on 03/28/2012

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Jodie, the ONLY things you can do is keep close track of what he owes/paid (an empty checkbook register works well for this) and if you know where he is working or has a new address give that info to the support office; you will be doing most of the legwork until this is settled. My younger child was 23 and had been out of the house several years before all the back support was paid (at one point he owed $27K and I got every single dime owed!). You may have to change your mindset in terms of the family in your household to see it as a single unit that just has to be supported as if there is no "step" involved. Do the best you can in terms of smart spending/saving and teaching the kids good health habits. If you do start receiving regular child support you can reevalute. If you are able to discuss this with the ex, remind him that you aren't using the money to have your nails done or go on vacation....his kids are eating it, wearing it and sleeping under it and that his lack of responsibility toward his kids sets are really bad example.

Jodie - posted on 03/28/2012

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Hi Tina West....CA would that be CALIFORNIA or CANADA? I have tried everything I possible could....Now SUPPORT ENFORCEMENT is on his tail, if he starts working, 50% comes to me, if he files income tax, it all comes to me, if he gets EMPLOYMENT BENIFITS 50% comes to me....and IF HE FAILS TO PAY UP WITHIN 3 YEARS HE THEN GOES TO JAIL....but I cant wait til my kids are grown, and me and my husband, their step dad does what we can but with a 6 and 7 year old they need so much more and the closest hospital is 2 hours away, the closest pharmacy is 30 minutes away, their school is 30 minutes away.....nothing comes without a price

Elizabeth - posted on 03/28/2012

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If you have a child support recovery place they can help. You may still need to do most of the work, like finding out where he is at and working. Then they can suspend his license, put him jail, and deduct it from his paycheck.

Tabitha - posted on 03/20/2012

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I agree Nicole. I think here in Indiana, when they are determining child support, they don't use the new spouses income at all unless the non-custodial parent is a "stay at home" spouse. But if they are on the new spouses insurance, they can and have required them to add the children, since it's usually the non-custodial parent's responsibility to cover the insurance.

[deleted account]

To those who say she should (or can) go after the ex's wife for support- this is just wrong, and probably a huge double standard considering most people's views on a stepparent's rights. Getting married does not tie you to each other's financial responsibilities from before the marriage (in most places). I researched this before I ever got married because I brought some debt to my marriage. It is the biological parents' responsibility to provide for their children, BOTH mom and dad. It is not a stepparent's responsibility just because they got married, just as my debt from before marriage is not my husband's legal responsibility. With possessions or property, a spouse only becomes responsible if they sign for joint ownership (again--in most places). A child is not a possession to be "owned" or "acquired" jointly just because you got married and file taxes together. And in this case the stepparent isn't adopting the child. I feel it is wrong to go after, or suggest to someone else to go after an ex's spouse to pay for YOUR child. That is between bio mom and bio dad. Would bio mom want to give stepmom equal parental rights? Probably not. So it's unfair to say stepmom should be held financially responsible for that child.



And I would agree with those who said you shouldn't be trying to "scare" him. Playing games will look manipulative and dirty whether it's intentional or not and eventually backfire on you and/or may get YOU into trouble. And if it is perceived by your child(ren) as you manipulating daddy this sets a horrbile example for your children how to deal with difficult people, again- whether that's your intention or not, perception is everything and kids perceive things often not as they are. Let the state deal with him. It's their job and they're getting paid to do it. Just keep on THEM about it I'd say! I'm sure it's VERY hard, but just keep reminding yourself to do the very best you can with what you've got because the bottom line is: ultimately you CANNOT control him. You can only do YOUR best as you continue to pursue justice the right way...through the crappy system. :/ Good luck to you! I hope it gets worked out.

Tabitha - posted on 03/19/2012

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Why do you need to scare him? Let the court system handle it. Stressing about it doesn't guarantee that he'll pay. They'll take drivers licenses, hunting licenses, tax checks. No real parent should have to be TOLD to take care of their children.

Pamela - posted on 03/17/2012

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Don't even go there. Did you hear what you want? Why would you want to SCARE someone into giving you money?



Better to put your trust and thought energy in the Creator (by whatever name you address this Divine being) who provides ALL for us anyway. If you do not believe and put your trust in divinity then you are missing one of the best truths of life!!!



I reared my first son without child support from his father until I married a second time. I didn't wait around for him to help, I did the best I could which is all that is ever asked of us on this planet.



If you believe in prayer USE IT. Ask the Creator to bring the needed resources into your life to aid you in rearing your son....and then TRUST and BELIEVE that it shall be so!!!

Amy - posted on 03/16/2012

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I looked up all the sate laws and emailed my daughters sperm donor and ended up making him pay. he wanted to go to school and all this other stuff but with being so far behind he would have been denied any type of financial aid! No threats needed just facts

Jodi - posted on 03/14/2012

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Well, that's not the way it works here. But then, the new wife also can't claim an unemployed oaf on their taxes (nor can they claim the kids), so I guess it all evens out.

Christian - posted on 03/14/2012

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Jodi,

When she married him they became one. What's his debt is now hers. Lol sad but true. She works and she claim him on her taxes the state take tht money or a portion it depends on what he owes and send it to the children(s) for support but these men now days are duckin and dodging make sure they don't work don't claim unemployment or taxes so they don't pay. They think what they do is not bad but it is is it hurts those babies and his chance in being in their lives

Christian - posted on 03/14/2012

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I have read some of u ladies post and I can relate to a few of u. Keep yr head up never let them see ur hand. They think when the child turns 18 or 21 they are not responsible for them. They are cuz they still will owe that money that is a debt they have to pay from the state they are not going to drop that. They can run but they can't hide!!!

Jodi - posted on 03/13/2012

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"Otherwise, if he is married again, you should be able to get money from his new wife! "



Wow, that's just wrong. It isn't the new wife's job to support the child. At least in this country it is only based on the income of the biological parents, the household income is irrelevant.

Jodi - posted on 03/13/2012

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"I have a question re: child support for a teenager. I have heard that the father is responsible through the age of 18 only however, if the child is a college student, the parent can sue for further support through the age of 24. 50% of the people I ask say this is true - 50% say it is not true. We are in NY state - does anyone KNOW???"



I can't answer that because I am in Australia, and here, you can only file for Child Support until they are 18 or finish high school. Which suck, I think that it should also be up to both parents to support them at Uni too. But our system doesn't allow for that.

Gretchen - posted on 03/13/2012

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If he works under the table, you'll need proof of this. That being said, it may be easier said than done. If he hasn't been making payments, he probably owes arrears (depends on if he quit his job or got laid off.) If you do get proof of his working under the table don't tell him...surprise him by taking him to Court. Giving him a heads up gives him a chance to cover his tail. Good luck!

Laura - posted on 03/13/2012

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Sending his butt to jail is a nice thought (in theory), but it doesn't benefit your child in any way and the child is the ONLY thing that's important. Our turning point was when the DMV asked him about his child support status when he was renewing his class A license; he's a long haul truck driver who had been job jumping to stay ahead of his obligation. When the clerk told him they could withhold his license altogether he panicked, called me and we came to a viable agreement that stayed in place for more than 10 years. I explained to him that the money he paid for the kids was for the kids, they wore it, ate it, paid school & sports fees with it; I wasn't using it for vacations or having my nails done. His wife's complaint was that my new husband was a successful professional so the ex shouldn't have to pay support. I agreed, but only if he was willing to surrender his parental rights. Cleared that up in a red hot minute, he really does love his kids, but I don't bluff. And, for the age limit; I wrote into my support agreement during our divorce that child support would continue until 21 if the child was a full time college student. At one point he owed $27 thousand...and I got every dime. Some states tack on interest, but when the principal was met I closed the case, it had gone on long enough, the kids were in their mid 20s and both were fully launched adults.

TINA - posted on 03/13/2012

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Well if your in Ca he can go to jail for not paying child support. Since he's not working anyway it would teach him a lesson

Terrie - posted on 03/12/2012

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The sad truth is your ex probably did this on purpose. Though there are laws out there to protect your child, they are hard to enforce. Your best bet is to let them know he is not paying child support so you are going through the right channels that way your children can get support through the government. The government is suppose to pick up where the father is not helping. In the state of Texas I believe the call it Tannif. At least they will have a little income. Once report that he is not paying child support, then they will hunt him down, find out why and try to make him do his part and in the mean time your children will get something. That is what happens here. My best friends kids are suppose to be getting visitation rights from their Dad plus child support but he has never paid child support. The government picks up where he lacks.

Amanda - posted on 03/12/2012

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Helen is right. A lot of states will suspend drivers liscenses or any other type of state liscensing your ex may have. Not sure what type of work he does, but if it happens to be something that requires licensing he could be out of luck. Call you local district attorney or states attorneys office for more info.

Rosie - posted on 03/12/2012

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In my state he can pay part of his child support every three months and there is nothing I can do about it. As long a he is trying, give me a break. He does get out son every other weekend and I'm thankful he is a part of our sons life, I know to many children who don't have that. I wish my ex would understand how hard it is to raise our son on my money only.

Robin - posted on 03/12/2012

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Unfortunately there are so many loopholes in the system that if a man is so pathetic to find a way to dodge his obligation to his children, than there is very little you can do. It's not worth putting yourself at risk to "scare" him. They do have the dead beat dad laws, but if he doesn't show income, you have no recourse. Your best bet is to go to work and take care of your children yourself as well you can. There are lots of agencies that help, like Jewish Family Services. In the end, you will become a great role model for your children and he will lose out. You can try to prevent him from seeing the kids, but most likely it won't have any real impact.

Amanda - posted on 03/12/2012

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In many places you can go after the new wife if the man has no job. If she is the bread winner, and supporting him then she is to support his children also.



Now if he worked and they were married, you could not go after his wife for more support, its only based on his income. But since he has no income her income becomes the default income child support is based on.



I know a few woman who pay support for their boyfriends, or husbands.

[deleted account]

Depending where you live the laws will vary greatly. Where I am there is no way you could ever go after his new wife like Heather just posted, but if he is on unemployment or receiving other government money then you are entitled to receive a percentage of it for child support. It will of course be no where near what you should be receiving.

Heather - posted on 03/12/2012

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Go after his unemployment, Social security, or any other money he is getting or has. Otherwise, if he is married again, you should be able to get money from his new wife! Otherwise, there is nothing you can do.

LORI - posted on 03/12/2012

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I have a question re: child support for a teenager. I have heard that the father is responsible through the age of 18 only however, if the child is a college student, the parent can sue for further support through the age of 24. 50% of the people I ask say this is true - 50% say it is not true. We are in NY state - does anyone KNOW???

[deleted account]

The state DID get $5000 from my ex since him and his wife filed joint taxes last year.... boy were they pissed. Had to make me laugh though cuz what kind of people think a man shouldn't be legally and morally obligated to help support HIS kids simply because they live w/ the mother... cuz he willingly moved too far away to make joint custody feasible... ;)

[deleted account]

My ex has claimed he's been unemployed for the past 4 years to avoid paying child support. I'm aware he doesn't have MUCH money (I also know his spending habits of which got us $50,000 in debt in 7 years), but I also know he works. I just can't prove it. He currently owes the state over $28,000 in child support, so... Good luck!!

Kay - posted on 03/11/2012

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Does he file taxes? If not, then I would let him know that what he is doing is not strictly legal and that if he fails to provide for his child, you will be forced to take legal action...



Like I said though, there really aren't terribly many recourses short of going through legally established child support channels.

Jodie - posted on 03/11/2012

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thanks but i should refrase the question......he works....he just works UNDER THE TABLE make sure its cash so they cant take it

Kay - posted on 03/11/2012

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There really isn't much you can do to "scare" him. There is a saying I like--you can't blood from a turnip. Or a stone.



If you are working with your local child support agency, they may be able to garnish any income that he has--tax returns or unemployment check and the like.

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