child support

Marnie - posted on 10/26/2014 ( 17 moms have responded )

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my x is taking my mail opening it and throwing it away .important doc i need for child support and dmv can i file a complaint and press charges

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Guest - posted on 10/31/2014

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Contact your local homeless shelter or coalition. They can help you establish a secure place to get your mail. They can also help you get signed up for any forms of social assistance you qualify for, like food stamps, housing assistance, etc. The wait list for housing can be long in some areas, so even if you qualify, there may not be any housing available. A lot of churches run homeless hostels in the winter time and you may be able to get a spot at one of those. Even if you can't drive it, try to keep your car because if worse comes to worst, you can sleep in it and it is safer than the street.

Depending on the resources they have available, they may be able to help you with your legal issues or help you find someone who can. If you have an actual recording of your son's father admitting to opening your mail and throwing it out, you may be able to press criminal charges against him--it's a federal offence to open mail that does not belong to you. You MIGHT be able to use that to get the suspension off your license, but it's not likely. You'll probably still have to get the payments caught up before they grant your license again, but you can still probably use that evidence to get late fees waived and possibly reduce the amount you owe.

Right now, there is no way a judge is going to grant you custody, but you MIGHT be able to get the child support cut back or temporarily suspended (meaning you will eventually have to pay it all back, but you won't be penalized for being late or not paying right now). A good lawyer may even be able to use the receipts you have for things you bought for your son while his father has full custody to chip away at what you owe, but it would have to be a very dedicated lawyer. Even if you don't have a lawyer, you need to contact the courts immediately and make sure your mail is no longer sent to your son's father's address.

Next, get a job. If you cannot find anyone to hire you, create a job for yourself. You obviously have internet access, so you can sell things online--make stuff to sell on etsy, buy yard sale stuff to put on ebay, whatever you can think of. You said your boyfriend pays you to clean his house--get a few more people to do the same thing. I have a friend in my neighborhood who started cleaning houses when she was a 20 year old, single mom without a car or a home--sounds like you--and she became a millionaire before her 35th birthday.

Lastly, a lesson to remember. NEVER TRUST ANOTHER PERSON. EVER. People always have their own best interests in mind, even very good people who would never WANT to hurt you, will hurt you if you get in their way. Furthermore, you can never really know a person, you can only know what they show you, and if they need something from you, they will only show you what you want to see, until they don't need you anymore.

Sherry - posted on 10/30/2014

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Contact your mail carrier and see if they can verify that you indeed did get mail at his home and possibly who it was from. Get the police to talk to them as well. This is a start. Get yourself together and don't act like a victim. Be very honest but not don't whine about how he is trying to ruin your life. Stick only to the facts regarding your mail. If you can get a police report filed about the stolen mail the CS agency should listen to you and assist you or at least give you some time to get it together. You have to carry yourself as a honest and trustworthy person. Then become one.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/30/2014

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Oh for God's sake. Pull your head out of your ass, quit whining about how you CAN'T do anything.

If you don't have a criminal record, you should have no problem getting a job, provided you have a work ethic...that means you actually have to WORK. You have to make the effort to better your life, rather than expecting every other person that you interact with to do so.

First thing, I recommend getting off whatever crap you're on...drug use will make it next to impossible to get a job, but you have made choices in life that you have to live with. Move forward. Get in compliance with dmv, child services and whoever else you need to get in compliance with. ONLY YOU can fix your situation, and whining over and over again about how you CAN'T because of every trivial excuse you can think of isn't getting you anywhere.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 10/30/2014

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How about get a job. Walk there. Apply for housing assistance from the government. I get it. You are in a rough way, and it sounds like it was self induced.....Drugs? Alcohol? What is your poison? You are blaming your ex for your life at this point. So regardless of what he has done, or what he is doing, you are the only one that can fix yourself. So do it. If you don't have a criminal record and have family that lives out of state, maybe even that is an option. Or what other family do you have around or are they no longer in communication with you? There are a lot of holes, and only fingers at your ex.

You clearly have access to a computer, and a phone? Right? Sell them if you need to.

Yes people get hired with a criminal past. It might be at McDonalds or a gas station, but it is a start.

Marnie - posted on 10/29/2014

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im homeless right now cant drive now cus of him and see my son wich is the worst of all he only cares about destroyiing my life no matter what it takes now i cant drive and cant get po box because i dont hav my car in my name now had to register it found out support suspendeed my licence im jobless cuz no one will hier a fellon who ows child supporthomeless and finally feel i can trust my x not to try to ruin me any more than ive already done to myselfand it goes on and on my poor son i feel so so bad for him he needs to see me every day and steve just took that too i feel like i will never pull through this im doomed im so far behind in support and didnt even know because all the scandelous lies and deciet he has put on my shoulders the court wont even listen to me i cant afford a lawyer let alone the ticket thgat i went to go take care of and couldnt because now they suspended my dl.is there a means to a end here

Marnie - posted on 10/29/2014

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he just wants to ruin me thats his mission in life and im not working now cant drive and have to stay pretty far away from tyler when i was driving at least i got to see him every day or every other day i got recording of him admitting he opned my mail from dmv and support and never gave it to me,how am i supposed to see my son get a job and all they want me tio do when i got him lieng to them me and making every thing worse than it already is my son is suffering because of this bull s....i feel like just giving up and dying im isolating i have no friends except one and i just cant get myself out of the doomed for failure for life feeling im totally broke and have afelonies on my record ive been looking for job but no one will hier someone with felonies plus childsupport they just dont want to deal with it. im over it ready to just crawl in a hole and die but my son loves me and i cant do that to him like my did to me
and i cant get a pobox they want all thrse documents redicilous

Marnie - posted on 10/29/2014

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i sked him if i could have support sent to his house because im there alot and he said he didnt care. my clothes are there in closet and i trusted him to not be a scandelous liar but once again he got me now i cant drive its going to be hard to see my son now that i cant drive .ive went to 3 duifferent po box places the post office was full and tghey wanted documintation i do not have all tghree wanted insuerance paper for car and registration on my car ....why....i had to get my friend to register it in his bame now because tghey suspended my licence for no support my x has been taking my letters for quite some time now obviously also im recorded him admiting he opened and threw away my dmv and child support and have a wuitness who heard him as well.im so so angrey now i cant see my son as much again its so sad the only onee whos getting hurt in all this uis my boy .im fighting depression i feel like theres noyhing i can do im doomed for failure because im an idiot......

Marnie - posted on 10/29/2014

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i cant get a po box they want documentation i dont have and cant get now because of him stealing my mail on purpose to screw my life up even more.im doomed and i am falling into a deep depression now and now hes made it so i cant drive and cant see my son on a regular basis like ive been for the past year

Marnie - posted on 10/29/2014

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also i cant drive now because i never got a letter from them so i can not have any one else hold mymail for me its a nightmare

Marnie - posted on 10/29/2014

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, my x ,sorry it took so long to get bck to you ,i stay at their house alot my clothes are there and otherwise im homeless except i also have a man who lets me stay with him on ocassion.i asked him if child support can send my mail to him because i cant get a po box i have no refistration i tryed 3 different places also they want too much money. steve agreed to let child support send my mail to his house because im there to see my son all the time, well i got a letter from dmv and child support and he opened and threw it away i have him on my phone admitting it .now they suspende my licence because ididnt respond in time im sooooo mad want to press charges on him because im not getting my mail from child support and he lies to them every chance he gets and lies to me about all of this mess

Dove - posted on 10/26/2014

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What he's doing is certainly illegal... Federal offense, in fact, but it could be very hard to prove. I agree with the others about getting a post office box to have all your mail sent to and you being the only one w/ a key.

Sarah - posted on 10/26/2014

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Marnie, I asked you this on a different post. How is your ex even getting your mail? Do you still live with him? Or he is actually taking mail from your mailbox?

Jodi - posted on 10/26/2014

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It is actually illegal to tamper with someone else's mail. However, I agree with Sarah, get a PO Box. It's probably easier than getting evidence to prove he is taking the mail.

Sarah - posted on 10/26/2014

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You can file a complaint with the police, but the most practical choice is getting a PO box or have your mail sent to a trusted family member or friend.

Michelle - posted on 10/26/2014

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Do you still live together? If not why haven't you changed your address? If so, why? I wouldn't be living with my ex. If you are still living together then get yourself a locked post box and get your mail sent there.

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