Child Support

Kimberly - posted on 04/08/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I met this guy fell in love with him soon as he decided not to use a condom I got pregnant he wanted me to get an abortion cause he felt we couldn't care for another child cause I have 3 boys my self and he has 3 girls. I told him that I wasn't sure if I wanted to get an abortion cause I felt I would feel guilty knowing I killed a baby even though it would be hard Im going to go for it. Then I thought about adoption cause I felt like that will be better but I decided I couldn't go through with that either and Im having my only girl so I wanted to keep her so he stopped talking to me in January New Years was the last time we saw each other he contacted me in March and asked me did I have the baby I said no he said he stopped talking to me because he was engaged and he was very happy in his new relationship I asked him did she know about the baby and j e went off on me tokd me it wasn't his baby and told me he didn't want me to speak ti me any more should I take him up for child support or leave him alone and let him be in his happy relationship. And move on and take care of my daughter by myself

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Michelle - posted on 04/11/2015

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Visitation and child support are separate issues.
You do have the right to file for child support, just as he has the right to file for visitation if he wants to.
I would file for support regardless if he "cooperates" or not.

Jodi - posted on 04/08/2015

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"as he decided not to use a condom I got pregnant"

LOL, unless he raped you, you BOTH decided not to use a condom, because you still chose to have sex with him.

With regard to the child support, that's your choice. You certainly have the right to. But remember, he has the right to a relationship with the child too. You told him you didn't have the baby, so you lied to him and you denied him any opportunity to even decide for himself if he wants a relationship with the child.

I also advise you to read all the posts here about the single mothers whose baby daddies pop up years later and want to exercise their rights - get a court order for custody in place now. If the father wants nothing to do with the child, you can't force him, but you can protect your child by ensuring you have primary custody. If he wants to be in the child's life, then you can have a visitation schedule court ordered, which makes it far less messy.

Finally, given the number of children you have, I would also suggest you stop hooking up with guys you refer to as "this guy" who refuse to use protection, and I would advise YOU take some responsibility for preventing future pregnancies. If you can barely support the children you have, you need to stop having more. And get yourself tested for STDs if this sex without a condom thing is common.

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Kimberly - posted on 04/11/2015

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Jodi yes I told him the baby was due June 1st he is aware. But he said he didn't want to talk to me any more after I asked did his fiancee know about me in the baby so if he is going to be involved I have no idea.But if I get no cooperation definitely going to child support

Kimberly - posted on 04/10/2015

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Shawn definitely blame my self as well all the way I was a woman with 3 children i should have known better. I should have gotten my tubes tied after I had my twins. I made a horrible decision now I got to deal with it.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/09/2015

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“I met this guy fell in love with him soon as he decided not to use a condom I got pregnant”~~Sweetie, contraception is not solely the responsibility of the male. You had ½ the responsibility of using a contraceptive, and you chose not to as well, apparently. Stop placing all the blame on him.
“he wanted me to get an abortion cause he felt we couldn't care for another child cause I have 3 boys my self and he has 3 girls”~~Apparently contraception has not been a priority in either of your lives. Perhaps that should be discussed prior to any more sexual intercourse
As for the rest, establish paternity, request support and visitation orders and move on.

Jodi - posted on 04/09/2015

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Sorry, your post sounded like you already had the baby. So does he know it is due in June and that you are having it?

Basically, though, my advice still stands. He has rights if he chooses to exercise them, but you also have the right to child support.

Kimberly - posted on 04/08/2015

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Thanks Jodi for the advice but I told him I didn't have the, baby cause she not due until June Ist and he contacted me in March Ididn't lie to him about any thing and Im getting my Tubes tied and have been tested for STD

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