Child support and custody

Alexandra - posted on 11/17/2013 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I'm a single mom of 2 month old . Had to move out from his house a since his family threw a fit and scandal. I had to move out . Father lost recently his job and I served him with papers . Now he hasn't contacted me or even visited his son. I also have my son his last name and I regret . Hevis half
Thi and half Chinese and he said its insult to him if my son doesn't carry his name . Now since he hasn't visited his son it's clear that he doesn't care

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Shandale - posted on 11/22/2013

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You can request that you het full custody for sure and what I know of the law as long as he pays child support he has rights. Sad but true but as long as you have full custody of your son he can't come in and just take the child from you. Please protect you and your son and get full custody. I had a fight on my hands with my son's dad and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Shandale - posted on 11/21/2013

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I too have been where you are. It is hard when there are multi cultures involved and both cultures are strong in their ways. I learned the hard way. My oldest son is now 18 and moved to be with his dad who is Vietnamese. I am Caucasian and Jordan was raised in an almost all white community so he has felt that which I'm sad to say has effected him but he was excepted by all of his teachers, class mates and friends. He also grew up with out a father but to my surprise he told me in a letter that he always knew he could count on me no matter what because I was always there when he needed me the most. I want you to stick up for yourself and your son please. If you feel that after the paternity test the father will walk then make sure you get a lawyer and file for full custody then you push for child support whether he is working or not. He is responsible whether he wants to be or not its the law. I tell you this because I went through a lot with Jordan's dad for child support and custody after he took my son for a week to Chicago and I had no idea where he or my son was. I want you to be strong and don't give up okay no matter how dark things may seem. God bless you both and I will keep you in my prayers.

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Alexandra - posted on 11/21/2013

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My ex got requested DNA even though he knows my son is his ...at the court hearing visitation was set 2 times per month under supervision , my ex got a job in Houston and I live in Dallas . After DNA will show he is dad ..... Can I asked the court if my ex refuses to visit his son to revoke his visitation rights and just let him do child support???? I know for sure his mother and sister forced him to request this .... I'm just shocked he listened to them.. His culture is: half Thailand and half Laos descend .... I'm 38 and he is 41years of age

Alexandra - posted on 11/21/2013

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Thank you , I do covet your prayers , I pray for my sons dad john to come to The Lord , pray for his salvation , I'm sad that John under the thumb of his family and rejected me and my son . I pray john will see the truth what his parents doing . Plus John is 41 years of age . I took dna test already , john knows baby his but he is doing what his parents tell him to do which is sooo sad

Alexandra - posted on 11/20/2013

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Thank you so much . I know The Lord has my son and me in the palm of His hand

LalaBoom - posted on 11/20/2013

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Alexandra, don't allow his actions to blind you with rage.

I would be FURIOUS if my man asked for a DNA test after the fact.

But, I would also take it with a grain of salt and flip this.

Here's how? Once the DNA test is done and he is 100%, there is no going back. He has the hard facts and can't hide behind any rocks. This applies to his family as well.

Take this as a blessing in disguise- trust me.

Alexandra - posted on 11/20/2013

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Thank you , I'm just beyond sad , how grown man does this , but it shows he doesn't care . If his mother and sisters tell him to kill child he would listen , now I need to protect my son

Natalie - posted on 11/20/2013

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Alexander, I know this may not be what you want to hear, but right now its so soon after the birth after your baby you haven't had a chance to settle into being a mom; and all this other grief added to it doesnt help. Its too bad some men can't think for themselves and leave mommies advice at age 18. Its not how he really feels, he has to sort out his true emotions from what he is being programmed to think. He of course doesn't want to dissappoint his mom or you, but of course his actions appear that you and the baby are not even a consideration. But you are. He loves his child, dont count him out as father and I'm not sure of your relationship with him prior to this, but dont turn a deaf ear yet. Listen with an open mind. Sometimes the family and the lies have to play themselves out before the person being lied to realize they have been lied too by their family. You and baby hold on.

Alexandra - posted on 11/20/2013

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Thank you Alex.well my ex hired an attourney to get DNA test , can't believe it . After all that time with baby and feeding being there when I delivered baby, I know for a fact his family forced him to do that , but he is 41 years old and he didn't think for himself , how could he?????? Today is hearing at the court , keep me in your prayers please.......

Alex - posted on 11/20/2013

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Don't worry about him worry about yourself and your little one.give him all the love you can.he will surley regret it in the future but the future is later and you are in the present.take one day at a time and you will see that everything will be okk.focus on your child he will bring you so much happiness you don't evan imagine what's in store for you guys.children are a blessing and when god puts them in your life they come along bringing blessings.your child will never need anything because he has his mommy who loves him and if later dad decides he doesn't want to have anything to do with mom so be it.mom is young with her whole life ahead and her baby.shedodoesn't need the extra baggage.you guys will be fine you just wait and see.keep your head up doll

LalaBoom - posted on 11/18/2013

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Give it some time hun, and try to work it out.

It could be that you both need time. But don't allow him the benefit of leaving with you with all baby-related responsibilities......

Sowee you going through this....:(

Alexandra - posted on 11/18/2013

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Father of my baby not married and he has no intentions. Long story short now he got fired from his job and I have a hearing on wedsday:(

LalaBoom - posted on 11/18/2013

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I'm not sure what the question is? I cant see the other posts with this phone.

Anyways, you will most likely than not get primary, if not sole, custody of your baby. Whether he is employed or not is irrelevant to visitation. For child support- note this from the beginning, they are not one and the same. Even if he doesn't pay, he still gets access.

Also, your baby is only two-months old, which tells me as a father, he hasnt had the time to bond with baby an therefore "doesnt know what to do with" him/her. Its a normal feeling for newly fathers. I STRONGLY urge you to work this out the courts. They do more harm than good in situations where there is no violence, etc. Get an agreement or make it up as you go- no court knows the totality of yours and spouse's situation, and you will get a rude awakening once within their grasp.

Shan - posted on 11/18/2013

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I will in your stronger than you think..be happy for you and your bundle of joy..they will come around

Alexandra - posted on 11/18/2013

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Thank you , I'm just hurting and I know I need to stand up for me and my little one. I'm 38yo and this my first child ... It's hard to think that he and his family won't nothing to do with me or my baby. Keep me in your prayers please

Shan - posted on 11/18/2013

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See that's the problem right there..majority of relationships end because of there family..thts wrong but fail to realize tht there's a child is involved and that makes matters worse because you want to do what's right in not keep the child away from his father..by his family being in the way of what yall had it will never be right.but when you guys go to court its time for him to man up because its sad how majority of man hve to hve a court mke them tke care of their responsibility..the child is very innocent.tht child didn't deserve none of this what he putting you threw nor did the child ask to be put of this earth..but if he doesn't appear trust me every dog has their day....man mke beds in don't lay in them..so dont give up...and always remember you hve to look out for what's best fir u in your child thts all that matters...he will come around I was like you didn't want to face my child's father because I was humble for to long so I knew I had so much to say but I just took it as a lesson learned..and it has made me stronger and much wiser...good luck in court..in it will get better for you trust me..

Alexandra - posted on 11/18/2013

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Thank you Shan. I'm praying all the time that the God will open his eyes and for father of my son to wake up. Wednesday is court hearing , I can't even face him , hope he will show up. He said to me that before all these that he doesn't love me and he took me to live at his house because when I was pregnant , baby daddy is 41 years old but he didn't stand up for me Shen his mom and sister threw a scandal and wanted me out of the house .

Shan - posted on 11/18/2013

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Its not tht he doesn't care its just guilt..tht is stopping him from wanting to see his son.Some man need space to get mature about being a father.but as a single parent at the age of 25 my child's father wasn't apart of her life at one point but as years past I start to realize that its not my fault he's not around..I say this because its something he will hve to explain as he gets older don't worry bc the more u worry the more questions you will have to just pray and go from there because its never to to late to be a parent..but it takes a REAL MAN TO BE FATHER.

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