Child support from a dead beat dad?

Amanda - posted on 08/31/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )

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So me and my 3 month olds father are not together. He recently lost his job but even before that I was not getting hardly any money from him...should I go after child support even though he is not working? Not sure what they would do..Can I get some advice? Thanks

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Sharon - posted on 09/01/2009

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Do you seriously want a man that crappy in your childs life?

Just what life lessons will he be imparting to your child? "
Here son, this is how we dodge the law and our responsibilities when we don't want them."

Gerilynn - posted on 09/07/2009

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Yes you should still go after Child Support I took my ex husband to court even though he hardly ever has a job. I had a good judge who told him thats no excuse made him pay me support they adjust the rate once they are working the best part is he is to pay the court and the court pays me if he is more than a couple of weeks late they put a warrant out for there arrest. that happened once and scard him so much he was never late again. Most important You need to think of you and your child first dont feel sorry for him because if roles were reversed he would not think twice about taking you to court.

Jill - posted on 09/04/2009

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Hello, I am in a little different boat I have 1 son of my own and 4 step children (ages15,12,12,11) my husband is the one that stepped up and took the responsibility and I have a dead beat mom. She is over $15,000 behind on support. She rarely works and when she does its not long enough for any money to be withheld. She claims she loves them and would do anything for them yet she can't support them in any way. The last time she saw any of them was 2 years ago.

Betsy - posted on 09/01/2009

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Helping you financially support your child is his responsibility as the childs father, yes you should get court appointed child support, that is only fair to your child. Have him pay through your states child support system so you both have the proof of pay or non payment. He needs to step up to the plate and help.

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17 Comments

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Kelly - posted on 09/25/2011

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i wouldnt worry about personally. cant force a person to do something they dont want to do.

Jeannie - posted on 09/07/2009

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my daugther is in the same boat w/ of her childrens dads. the one we cant find and the second weve had him put in jail twice, everytime they hit his check, he quits and goes and works for his dad on the crab/shrimp boat so he dont have anything taken out. as soon as they find him its back 2 jail. go after him anyways, if they get him, he will pay child support or he'll go 2 jail. just keep on his ass and hopefully you'll get your baby's child support. they will go after him just go to family intake & tell them u want a court date to file for child support for your baby because the dad isnt helping at all and they;ll set a court date for u. then if he dont off to jail he'll go, if he valvues his freedom he'll kepp up w/ child support payments.

Brittany - posted on 09/07/2009

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i would file for child support asap. the father of my baby is in and out of the picture and im only 20 weeks. ive recently filed for child support so that way when my baby arrives he/she is covered reguardless of our situation. you have to think about this, how long could he possibly be without a job? he will eventually get one and have to provide back pay for the past 3 months of his childs life, your baby needs the money and im sure you do too. file for child support and he will leagaly be obligated to provide some sort of money for you and the baby. best wishes for you and your little one! hope things work out!

Sharyn - posted on 09/02/2009

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I have been on my own with 2 kids for almost 5 years. My ex hardly pays any child support, however I just let CSA deal with it. If I get it it is a bonus and if I don't it doesn't matter they will keep on at him and it will eventually catch up on him. My ex is getting Centrelink however works for cash so he is supposed to pay $30.00 a month which I have had once this year. What goes around comes around - don't use your energy even worrying about it.

Tara - posted on 09/02/2009

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I was preg with twins when my ex left me and our 2 young sons and the best thing i ever did was go for child support. He too said he would pay and that court ordered support wasn't needed but for the last 2 christmases since he's been gone it's been unconveinient for him to pay. Don't let him convince u that it's not necessary cause that's when the excuses fly and u r really stuck doin it alone. Gettin him to pay through the court will only ensure that u will be able to do for ur baby and that is what is important, not him. Oh and the fact that u go for court ordered support shouldn't have any bearin on weither or not he decides to see the baby, if he thinks it does then there's something wrong there.
To all the single mom's/dad's out there, court ordered child support is u and ur childs' insurance for the basics, even if u only get it here and there it's relief and help in tough times...and u r legally entitled to it so for heavens sake USE IT. Sometimes it's the only way to remind the absent parent that they r a parent (men and women like).
Good luck to all

Charity - posted on 09/01/2009

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Well this is coming from someone who's husband pays child support to his BM. He is a landscaper so work is not year-round. During winter months when he doesn't have a paycheck for the child support to come out of it accumulates to back-child support. He eventually gets a letter stating he needs to pay, even if it's $20 or he loses his drivers license. But he always gets caught up after the first of the year when he files taxes. The agency will automatically deduct what he is in the rears and then he gets the rest. My sister-in-law never saw a dime from her BD, even after he won a multi-million-dollar settlement. He was, however recently arrested for the 16 years of back-child support he hasn't paid. That's the legal part of it. My other sister never went after her BD for support for fear it would drive him even further away from her daughter than he already was. He sees her when he's not busy, but to my niece (6 y/o) the little time she gets with her daddy is better than none. It's a tough decision. Good luck with whatever you choose. I always say 'go with your intuition'.

Alison - posted on 09/01/2009

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Unless he's got some serious mental health issues (and even then...), why should it all fall on your shoulders? You cannot clothe and feed your child according to when it is convenient. He needs to find the means to support you the way he should.

Ashley - posted on 09/01/2009

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Im in the same boat my son is 2 months old im trying to get child support but his dad hasnt even seen him, because we werent married or anything when i got pregnant or had my son and his dad didnt sign the birth certificate yet my state is making us do a paternity test and that isnt happening until october (my son was born in june) its a very long process and after the paternity test itll take another couple months to actually get child support started, if i were you even though your babys dad isnt working i would still try to get child support because by the time it all works out he will probably have a job. he should be helping you out anyway he helped create your baby!

Carrie - posted on 09/01/2009

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i'd say it depends, if he's having a hard time right now I'd wait a bit. it could make things worse between the two of you and thats really not that good for the baby. But if you think that hes not gunna give it to you then ur better off doing it.

Sharon - posted on 08/31/2009

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is he a good guy? do you want him in your childs life? will he be a good role model?

Tamara - posted on 08/31/2009

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I can totally understand that. It is not a fun process. *hugs* I hope all goes smooth

Tamara - posted on 08/31/2009

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Honestly I would. He may not be working right now but he will in the future and with a court order they can garnish his wages so he is caring for his child. its the only way to insure that he is paying his share of raising your little one.



It took me a few months to get in to court and then a few months to get things actually going now its set he pays a percentage of his pay for both his sons. and back child support for when he was out of work and when we were in the court process. I honestly doubt Ill actually see that part of it however, he is paying now.



Keep in mind he may say he will pay getting a court order is the only way to insure he actually does. good luck

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