Child support...oopxz

Angel - posted on 03/25/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Hey ladies,My name is Angel and only looking for positive comments...

So i stay in atlanta and i went down to dfacs two days ago to apply for Tanf ,so I could save for me and my baby an apartment but they said he was too young,but during that time they asked for the absent parent information i gave the all my baby daddy infoincluding his social and other single moms did also for child support,me and him was trying to work things out for our son but sometimes i feel heart broken because im doing this on my own school,tryna find a job and taking care of my son,and his just does'nt even call anymore so he is in the system without him knowing,am I wrong = ( o by the way we were together for three yrs and he did me so wrong i never asked for penny i swear!

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[deleted account]

No Ma'am...what you did is NOT wrong. If it was THAT important to the man to stay OUT of the system...he would have LONG ago set up a deal to give you money regularly. Because he didn't...you did what you have to do. If that man isn't going to take care of yall's son...you have to do it. If that means turning him over to DFCS...so be it. It is what it is. You didn't DO that to him...he did it to himself, when he didn't help you financially.
You don't have to ASK him for a penny...he owes it all on his own, without you ever saying a WORD. You have responsibilities...as that boy's Mama. Daddy has responsibilities too. Either he's gonna do his job...or the state's gonna MAKE him do it.

19 Comments

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Yolanda - posted on 03/29/2011

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No your not because im in your situation too but it hurts me more because my son is a special need. It hurts too see my son suffering but that's ok. He owes back pay on child support just because it did'nt work out between me n him hes pushing his son away. Like they say its all gonna backfire. God Bless the children n us moms too because we feel the pain.

[deleted account]

I also live in Atlanta. From what I know, they ask for the information so if you were to receive any payments, he would have to pay the state back. From my understanding it's different from child support but the same principle. I could apply for TANF (even tho I'm working and he's on Child Support) I could receive payments also, but if he was to start making payments then my TANF benefits would be cut off. Since you know he's working you should go down to the office of child support (on ?Atlanta? Industrial BLVD) and start a case. I understand how frustrating it is to try to keep shelter/housing for you and your child + providing transportation to get around. I have 2 by the same man, he's $14,000 behind in payments, and payments are made so sporadic I shouldn't even expect anything for the rest of the year. So yea, I know how hard it is to be a single mother and know the 'daddy' has a job and isn't contributing to his childs needs or helping you out. If your baby is less than 6 weeks old, then yea he's too young, with TANF they put thru these "finding a job classes' and your child attends daycare (for free). But if he's atleast 6 weeks old I don't understand why they would tell you he's too young. I would say go back and pray that you don't get the same case worker. I myself prefer male case-workers, they show more sympathy. I don't have much sapce to keep going on but I hope this infor has helped you somehow. I wish you much luck.

[deleted account]

I know a guy...around Savannah, but still in Georgia. He thought it would be a GREAT idea to just...'work under the table' and then the state couldn't garnish his paycheck for the baby. He really thought he had them outsmarted...until the state sent him a love note informing him his DRIVER'S LICENSE was suspended until he got his arrears paid.
They have their ways...they WILL get him.

Rosie - posted on 03/28/2011

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don't worry about his sorry ass!! you need help supporting your kid! i see no reason why he shouldn't already be helping you with your child. since he's not, you need to force him to. to many men get away with this stuff, including my ex. it's ridiculous.
hope everything goes well for you. :)

Ossie - posted on 03/28/2011

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You did absolutely nothing wrong, he should have been in the system when he stopped supporting you. Hang in there, it will get better.

Angel - posted on 03/28/2011

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o wow(Teresa)

see my baby's dad this whole time im thinking he doesnt have a job and i found out he did we got into a fight through ah txt over him not callin like he suppose too because he just dont call anymore so he said "i was working yesterday so i said o u have a job i thought you were looking you didnt tell me you had one and it took him three whole hours to txt back so i said this whole time he has a job and not giving me anything for our son...But like i said once child support get him he will wish he would have done what he was suppose to because all i wanted was him to be faithful to me ,not lie to me,evr cheat but he failed that i never wanted his money because he didnt have any!..lol but These men gonna learn and he just got out of jail january 2010.And i helped him out i was by his side when he got a job because he has felonies i helped him get ah job then he lost it

Angel - posted on 03/28/2011

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Thank you ladies im so glad i found this site, i just wanna cry because of this im going through enuff with my mom giving me my birth certificate then she wanna bitch about us not having a job well
i applied for anuther on today and i cnt wait to get it o will be so happy to get my own place i have a 17yr old brother all he does is smoke weed and cigs alllllll the time evryday and i don mean everyday and a sister thats 17 just turned 17 all she does is sneak her disrepectful ass boifriend over and he smokes too and my baby is here i hate it the day he came home from the hospital they smoked that night i called the police because i couldnt curse them out i was in pain from my surgury and my baby was born premature he was twom months early and his dad was there when he was born and signed the birth certificate now i dont know why he wont be with his family and we could have hlped eachother out.But sometimes us women try to keep something together that god is really tryna tear apart.&& Its done now im going to finish school i wish i had somwhere to go soon..its just when i got my tax money back i got so much stuff for my bby since i didnt get to have a bby shower thats how unsupportive my family is and this was my first born oh it hurted so much so yes i had to buy everything,his crib,boxes and boxes of pampers,boxes of wipes,elite pamper disposer and clothes his dad didnt invest in anythinf for our son but two three dollar shirts from walmart and he think im finna let my son spend a week with him.The first time i did that my son was three weeks old biggest mistake of my LIFE he didnt answer any of my calls when my son was there.

[deleted account]

He's 'unemployed' (read as works for rent and cash for his brother-in-law and owns a 'shave ice shop' in someone else's name....). I'm working on it, but depending on where you are.... these things can take a LONG time.

A mom of a friend of mine recently told me about a guy she knew that went to jail for nonpayment of child support a couple of years ago.... and his kid is already an adult! The state WILL get my ex. It's just a matter of when.

Angel - posted on 03/28/2011

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omg teresa you need too get his axx these men dont know how hard it is to take care of a baby alone expecially when yur an a situation like mine have to pay someone evrywhere i need to go i hate my babys dad and my family because they dont help me worth shyt! ugh but god will bless me and you lovely women also,,,,Much love to u all and ur babies

Jody - posted on 03/28/2011

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everyone has to do what they feel is right and never ?? what you feel is right or wrong. some men are just scum and wont take responsibility for their actions. if you gave the state you live in info on the child's father then good for you. they will go after him and they will attach the payments to his paycheck no matter where he goes, cuz they have his SS#. so no matter what you should still get a check and be paid,just use the money wisely or he may come back and complain it isnt for the child. my son's father told people i sleep around and my son is not his when he knows he is. in the state of mass if a couple isn't married they cant be on the birth cert unless a prior form was filled out i didn't know that so legally i couldn't add his name. he has never seen his son in 4 yrs and refuses to acknowledge us. so i am raising him on my own. it is hard but with God's help and guidance we are making it so far.

i know i should find him but the things i found out about him and trying to sexually harrass a girl 20 yrs younger then him that wasn't the type of person i want in my son's life at all. father or no father. that is just unhealthy and not safe place for my son. so everyone is different.

try applying for food stamps and WIC in your area. and see if there are any other programs you can apply for like fuel asst in your area. they help with bills too. and if there is any local agencies in your area that help out people and mom's like in your situation. i have one in my area that has been great. food pantries are also good to go to for food and they help out people in need as well. just check the expiration dates on the food you get, not always good but these are just suggestions that may help. keep your chin up and know you are always loved and cared for.

Amanda - posted on 03/28/2011

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Wow! If only we lived in MN.... Good point Amy! Our order is from IL. Luckily my son was the only child he signed the acknowledgement of paternity for so the state acknowledges him as the first child, but there are 3 others collected for on our end, and while we are "first in line", but our amount never changed, even when the "extra" kids came about (some same age, some younger). IL also has a $5000 limit before jail time. Most states will also intercept federal tax returns. Do what you have to do for you and your baby. Make sure you and he have a roof over your heads and food in your mouth. If he wants to be a daddy, he will make an effort. If he doesn't, then don't waste your time trying to get him to be one.

Iridescent - posted on 03/27/2011

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The amount taken varies quite a lot from state to state, method used to calculate, number of kids, parenting time... I'm in MN - the minimum taken for one child is 25% before taxes (the parent paying is responsible for the taxes, not the parent receiving). We just got our child support order for our twins, with 2 years in arrears, and the monthly amount is 200% her monthly income and she also owes arrears of 20% of the total every month. If she falls behind $3,000 or more, she goes to prison and loses any licenses to her name - this would include (for her) her vet tech license, driver's license...

This is not typical (requiring more than is earned), but 50% of the total take-home income IS. Added on top of that are the fees for the child being on medical assistance, which is a minimum of $50 per month to the parent paying (income based), or they can provide insurance at their own expense.

Amanda - posted on 03/27/2011

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Absolutely not wrong!! As much as some of us single moms want to make everything work, and give our children two parents, there are just some people that won't take responsibility. I was with my son's father for 18 months after he was born. I got aid, while he was living with us they didn't take support, but the second he moved out I made sure they knew because I knew I wouldn't get help any other way. It takes two people to make a baby and it should take two to support a baby. If he was still around he would be contributing most if not all of his money to the baby. Child support takes no more than 15% of his paycheck. It's the least he should be doing to help care for his baby!

Iridescent - posted on 03/27/2011

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It takes at least a few months. If he signed a Recognition of Parentage, he can't request a paternity test, so that takes a month off. In that case it can go pretty fast, but then at least a month for the employer to start to garnish wages, and court they need a month, so at least 2 total. And if he quits/changes jobs, it starts over (1 month minimum) for each job.

[deleted account]

Not wrong. My ex TOLD me to go on welfare cuz he would never pay a penny in child support. But... to GET welfare you have to give the state permission to go after your ex for child support or they won't help you. Foolish man (my ex) will pay for it some day.....

Angel - posted on 03/27/2011

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hey thanks to all and guess what i found he has a job and he didnt even tell me i felt like crying when i found out and idk y he do me this way.I waswith him when hedidnt have a pennnnnnnnnny and hestill realli dont but that's ok iit will all catch up with him o and do you know how long it usually takes..to recieve child support...thanks for the comments,

Lise - posted on 03/25/2011

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Don't feel bad. Your childs needs are the priority not how he feels. Some men need to learn you don't just go around making babies then take off with no responsiblity. Good luck :)

Iridescent - posted on 03/25/2011

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You didn't do anything wrong. You did exactly what you should have. You need and deserve the help, and if he's not willing to help physically, he still needs to financially. What parent would allow their child to suffer when they could do something to help? Lots of walkaways. That isn't acceptable, but people still act like it is. You don't have anything to feel bad about, and shouldn't be ashamed. You have every right to have help.

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