child wont poo on toilet

Danielle - posted on 07/12/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi, my daughter is 4 in August and will not poo on the toilet just refuses completely, she will only go in a nappie but she will happily wee on the toilet. Any tips suggestions would be very grateful as this is very frustrating as she is starting school in September. Thanks

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Danielle - posted on 07/12/2013

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She only wears nappies for bed and asks for them when she needs a poo. She has picked her own knickers that she wears. We have tryed rewards etc nothing seems to be working

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Lilmissvgal - posted on 07/15/2013

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You know your own child better than anyone else...so I guess if she is in pain, that's not the solution for u :-(
Maybe U need to take her to your doctor and get them to explain to her what happens if you hold it in too long!?

Danielle - posted on 07/15/2013

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Hi, ah thats brilliant. Im just not sure how long is safe to leave them as I refused to give her a nappy before for 5 days an she just cryed and cryed. She wouldn't even sit in the bath because it was hurting an I felt awful so gave in. Ive read other peoples posts an alot are saying that health professionals have said you shouldn't leave them as its bad for them an they will learn in there own time an other's are saying to leave them am they will have to do it. Its all very frustrating. X

Lilmissvgal - posted on 07/15/2013

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Hi Danielle, my little boy is 3 and a half and I had the same issue with him recently. He had been weeing in the loo for months and months but refused to do poo poo in there, only in a pull-up. One day I just decided enough is enough and refused to give him a pull-up and sat him on the toiled crying and crying, but I stayed strong..it's was hard :-( but then he did it!! He finally poo'd in the toilet and I made a huge deal about it...called his nanny and pa, daddy and other family members...and he has never looked back now!! He tells random people all the time about him being a big boy and going to the toilet!! But I think it was the push he needed...hope this he's a little :-) good luck!!

Candice - posted on 07/14/2013

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Hi Danielle my daughter will be 4 in January and still poops in her panties, she doesn't seem to care. I'm very frustrated and don't know what to do. You are not alone.

Ev - posted on 07/13/2013

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You asked for thoughts on this and kids are cruel creatures to other kids. I am sorry that you took it this way but as I said at four years old a child should be pretty much potty trained and unless she has a doctor's diagnosis on some sort of problem with the child that does not allow her to control her using the potty right. Her refusal to use it to poo means she is using this as a control or to get her way and letting her to continue to use a nappie to poop in does not help her to learn to use the toilet. That is all I was saying. I did not call you lazy and I quote again from my post: " Its pure laziness when a parent only does a portion of potty training." This is not in reference to just a single person, it could have been someone else who posted this. But as for her getting picked on by the other kids, that will happen. I was picked on by the other kids as a child because I did not socialize well and they called me all sorts of names. I was shy. I was only stating some facts about what kids do as far as teasing goes. But if you do not like my thoughts I am sorry. I was not implying you were lazy but to me it seemed like you were giving in to her doing this instead of working at it. Again Sorry.

Danielle - posted on 07/13/2013

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I do not see anywhere on this site where it says I will be criticised, I am simply asking for peoples adcice to see if other people have had the same problem. How dare you say im a lazy mother when you no nothing about me, and how cruel are you to assume my child will get picked on. Please do not comment on my post anymore your opinion is not valid to me. You are clearly a cery rude and disrespectful person so take your opinions elsewhere. Thanks you.

Ev - posted on 07/13/2013

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No nappies at all. She needs to wear knickers all the time. Nappies defeat the purpose of getting her to use the potty at all. You enable her to continue to do this. SHe should have been trained to poo and pee both long before the age of 4. When she goes to school, they are not going to stop and change her nappie because she pooed in it or her underpants (which she has on at time). She is going to be picked on by the other kids her age and its going to be detrimental to her. Its pure laziness when a parent only does a portion of potty training. YOU have let her get away with doing what she will where pooing on the potty is concerned.

Ev - posted on 07/12/2013

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First, she needs to be out of a nappie totally. IF she is peeing in the toilet then she should be doing the other too.

Second, take her underwear shopping and let her pick out the underwear that she likes the best because they do have some cute stuff for little girls out there. Tell her that if she poops in the panties then she will have to wear what you choose to get her.

Third, Work with her vigorously on going in the toilet. Its going to take that to get it across to her. Award her for her efforts at first and then increase what she has to do to get the award. Sticker charts are best.

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