Children

Dee - posted on 11/09/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My children are grown and have there own family's. They never come to see me and bring the grandkids. Or call. They only call or come over when they need money or to help them with something. And they complain that we don't come see them or call them. 'm afraid that if I call they will ask me for money. Or they just want me to keep the kids over night. And I don't think that is right. I have raised my children and now is the time for me to enjoy the rest of my life. I don't want to be a babysitter. I know that they have there life and I don't want to go to there home all the time. But they know that they can come to my home anything, and bring the grandkids. I LOVE my GRANDKIDS! And If they play baseball games or football games or dancing I love going to see them. But I don't like it when they say thing like I don't love them cause I don't come see them or let them stay the night all the time. Its hard on grandmas that have 7 + grandkids to do that. I think my children should come to see us and bring the grandbaby's with them to visit. Or they could call and invite us to come over for dinner and visit. You know all family's are not the same. We are all different. Just because the grandparents don't do what children think they should do does not mean that they don't LOVE there GRANDCHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't wait for them to call you. Call them and invite them over and make memories with them. Maybe they don't want to bother you now that you have your own family now.

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Dee - posted on 11/09/2013

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She stays all night with us 1 time every week. I don't know what else I can do. I send my granddaughter texts on her moms phone with funny things and poems.
I do more for this grandaughter then I do for the others. My other sons wife don't act like this.

Michelle - posted on 11/09/2013

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Have you talked to her about it? There needs to be a happy medium somewhere. I'm not saying you have to have your Grandchildren all the time but it's nice to spend alone time with them. My mother has had my oldest son only 3 times since he was born 12 years ago!!!!! I would love her to spend more time with her grandchildren since she is the only grandparent in the same country.
She is now starting to have them a bit more but I was a single Mum and had no help at all. It's sad for the children stuck in the middle. Grandparents are special and we need to encourage the relationship. I lost my last grandparent last year and miss them all so much.

Dee - posted on 11/09/2013

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My daughter in law lost her mother. so this is what she posts on her facebook all the time. They don't let there daughter go to school so she has no friends.
But we let her stay the night with us. But she thinks that we should keep her all the time. But this is what she puts on facebook.

Wish you were still here Mama!!! My daughter needs someone else to spend time with her and love her, other than just her mommy and daddy and apparently your the only one who cared to do so!!!!!! She cried so hard last night needing a grandparent figure and I know you would be here if you could, so what's that say for the living ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michelle - posted on 11/09/2013

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It works both ways though. You are expecting to always contact and see you but it does work the other way as well.
You said you don't ring them because they will just ask for money, that's something you need to discuss with them.
You need to let your children know that you aren't a bank but make sure you also keep the communication open.

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