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Michelle - posted on 02/16/2016
I was going to say the same as Jodi. A lot of men (even in relationships with the Mothers) don't feel connected to the unborn child. Just remember, they don't have to carry it around for 9 months, or have this alien take over their body. He sounds like he's now trying so you have to give him a shot.
Also like Jodi said, he doesn't have to do right by you, only his child. If you are no longer together then as long as he is doing the right thing for his child then that's all you can ask.
I suggest getting yourself a lawyer and establishing custody, visitation and child support ASAP.
Jodi - posted on 02/15/2016
He doesn't have to do right by you, only by your child. One thing you have to understand is that many men don't experience the same connection with a child that mothers do before they are born because WE are the ones who carry them. It isn't unusual for a father who is separated from the mother to not be involved in the pregnancy because of this lack of connection (it's not common, but not unusual either). That doesn't mean I'm saying it is okay, just trying to give you an idea from another perspective. As the father, he is entitled to a relationship with his child. Even more importantly, your child has a right to a relationship with both parents.
The best thing you can do is establish custody and visitation and make sure you file for child support. This way, you can have a relationship that is purely about parenting your child together and nothing else. You get along with him by not making it about you and him, but about the child. You don't engage in conflict. You only talk about issues pertaining to your child.
Ev - posted on 02/15/2016
I am sorry that you both broke up and are not on good speaking terms. But...But he is the father of the baby and has as much right as you do to parent his child and have a relationship with the child. A lot of girls post on here the same thing you have and the guy is not there for prenatal care or very often to see the baby after birth. But the fathers still have rights to be something to their kids. He did not have to sign his rights away and you would not have been able to do so until the baby had been born if he was willing to do that. It would have to go before a judge and be consented to by the courts. I also want to point out that this man was good enough to be intimate with before you found out you were pregnant, what makes him so bad to be a father to his child? You are going to have to learn to put away what you feel about the father and concentrate on the best interest of the child. You do not have to like dad, you do not have to talk to dad but for what concerns the child, and you do not owe dad anything but what is his rights to be with his child. You need to go to court and set up custody, visitation, and child support ASAP. You need to follow those court orders so that both you and the father are on the same page and the child's interests are met. You can not withhold the child from the father. He could take you to court for parental alienation or he could even file for custody as well. Just be prepared to deal with any outcomes.
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