Childs father Really Abusive .I feel like i can't go on anymore......Advice needed please

Tara - posted on 10/22/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone, I came here to look for advice and suppport.My daughter is 5 and for the past three months her father has let her down constantly .Anytime i ask him if he is taking her for an overnight or collecting her from school he flies into rages and calls me a cu** and a knaker ,a nutjob (cause i suffer from depression).He texts me every week on a monday and promises he collect her from school etc and then leaves her standing there crying and they call me.Then two weeks later he will have her on an overnite and when she comes back i get all these nasty texts saying my daughter says to him that i shove needles in my arms and he will have to report me to welfare and have her taken.I do not touch drugs or alcohol.If i ring him and cry and say why are you doing this to me and my daughter he sneers at me for crying and says dont you dare cry down the phone your tears mean nothing cause you are nothing and he wishes id die screaming.Last week he took her on an overnite when it suited him and when she came back she was so upset and eventually told me she heard her dad say to someone on phone that he wishes i was dead.He filled her head saying he was bringing her away at halloween to his family and she was so excited.i texted him and told him what my daughter had heard and he said she was a liar and hes not taking her now at halloween and doesnt want her anymore.The poor child kept saying when she told me not to tell daddy she told me cause he wont see me again.thats exactly what he did .What message does that say to her? My hair is falling out over all this the constant stress and abuse and watching my little girl cry.Why is he doing this keeps spinning in my head every day.Please can anyone advise.thank you for reading.I really feel this is affecting her and i feel helpless.If i make up my mind and stop access she cries and begs for him.

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Brittany - posted on 10/22/2014

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I am so sorry to hear this is going on. Have you talked to a counselor? I would encourage you to do so they can help guide you where you need to go with this. Have you talked to a lawyer at all? I will keep you in my prayers!

Spring - posted on 10/22/2014

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Girl ive been single for five years and i left a very abussive relationship and it got bad for awhile because he wants to control you w fear because he wants you to hury like him. My advice get a journal write down everything he does an says to your daughter an you an write down the dates an times. Also record y'alls conversations and then take it to court an get a restraining order for him to stay away till he gets processional help or he wont be in her life. Dont let him see your fear and stay strong. Make him think,you have it under control no matter how you really feel. Also get in a support group w women in the same situation so you dont do this alone. You can do this....keep your head up high an take care of your daughter. Good luck!!!

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Tara - posted on 10/23/2014

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Thanks everyone he doesnt have any visitation rights through court its just been my good will and hes never paid a penny towards her ive begged him for even 5 pound towards her as he doesnt work and he refused.Ive threatned him with court so many times but he says if i do he will just leave the area and never see her again.I arranged mediation and he failed to turn up either.Shes telling all her friends at school shes going away at halloween with her daddy and i have texted him three times since the other nite telling him how upset shes going to be and how could he be so cruel to build her up and knock her down and he just ignores me.Im worried sick as to what im going to say to her now.

Jodi - posted on 10/22/2014

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You need to keep a diary of EVERYTHING. What do your current court orders say about his visitation? It sounds to me like you need to talk to a lawyer and consider some changes.

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