Chores. Help!!!!

Amber - posted on 02/26/2009 ( 31 moms have responded )

1

28

0

I was wondering what everyone else expects of their children in the chore department. I have a 12, 9, and 4 year old. The 4 year old is just looking, but what about the older ones what does everyone else think is fair? They think I am being unfair. Would just love to hear what kind of chores your children do. And looking for a little back up.



Thanks, Amber.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Wendy - posted on 02/27/2009

1

7

0

All kids think that having to do chores is unfair. WE have a 15, 14 and 11 year old and we switch the chores on a monthly basis. They have to clean their rooms and their bathroom. They do laundry and dishes. Sweep, mop and basically everything we do as adults. My husband works two jobs and I have a full-time job as well. They learn to deal with it and in the end I feel like they will appreciate the value of having to do chores. After all they will always have to do something for someone else, whether it is their boss or their children. We are just preparing them for that. Hope this helps. Hang in there.



 Wendy 

Leslie - posted on 02/27/2009

1

0

0

Everyone should do chores.  Even the 4 year-old can set the table.  My kids are 17 and 14, we've gone through various strategies and chores for avoiding debates about how much is fair and who is doing more.  They are totally responsible for changing the cat litter (they alternate), have assigned days for feeding them, pick up their rooms, do laundry, clear the table and load the dishwasher any night they are home, and have weekly chores that include vaccuming, washing to kitchen floor, cleaning the bathroom, taking out trash, breaking down boxes, putting the groceries away after shopping, and occasionally even cooking dinner.  At the moment I'm using an erasable white board which I use on weekends to make a list of all priority chores and they pick them off.  For awhile I even assigned point values for difficulty, since there was so much whining about who was doing the harder chores.  I also made up an acronym for quality control -- ACToMS -- All Chores to Mom's Standards.  Adding humour always helps!  And yeah, it's good for the kids, but frankly, my husband and I need the help, and even the little things make a difference.  I would set a very clear boundary for resisters -- no chore, no TV, no sports, no Facebook -- whatever they care about -- and no argument.  (Which is not to say there will never be one, I'm just saying that should be the goal and the idea of having to do the chore in the first place should not be up for debate.) Forget about what they're telling you about what others are doing.  It's irrellevant and probably either inaccurate or untruthful.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

31 Comments

View replies by

Kelli - posted on 03/11/2011

47

23

2

i have four kids eight almost seven and four and i give all three chores my kids do very well with putting their clothes away by themselves my almost seven year loves to fold the clothes that r hers they also have to clean their room they just start wash the table after themselves

Reana - posted on 03/24/2009

2

10

0

I have a 13 and 14 year old and yes they have chores an have had chores since they were 5. I feel that children should have some type of responsibility its there home to they  mess it they can help clean it. there chores consist of making a meal together 1 a week, alternate taking out the trash sweeping the floors and alternate making lunches keeping there bathroom clean and bedrooms. I also ask that they bring down there bedsheets and replace them with fresh ones.It teaches them responsibilities an prepares them for the real world. Yes both my kids do know how to do laundry and seperate and yes I am a stay-at-home mom who is a firm believer in kids helping out. I also do not give them an allowance for doing chores but I do slip them a $20 dollar bill every month for expenses.

[deleted account]

I have a 6 year old and oddly enought she loves to clean .......she is always asking what else she can do ............one day she was in my way when I was trying to do the dishes ....so I told her to go sit on the couch and she yelled at me, and told me that when she gets older Im gonna have to sit on the couch while she does the dishes.........My 12 year old couse is expected to make her bed clean her onw room if she has laundry is goes in the hamper........... and she dry's the disshes for her mom........ so I think it all depends on the expectations of the parent an how willing the children are

Maureen - posted on 02/27/2009

3

6

0

I have an 11 year old and a 12 year old, they are expected to clean their rooms, and help with daily chores. We have a chore chart that is on our fridge. My girls need reminding to do their chores but when they forget, I let them know that this is a two way street, they want me to remember all their activities and give them money so for that they need to complete what is asked of them, or I can forget things too.

Kasandra - posted on 02/27/2009

15

9

7

i LOVE chore questions!! i have 5 kids, the oldest being 10, then 8, 3, 2, and a newborn.. the older 2 do the same chores... picking up laundry around the house, cleaning their rooms, putting away dishes. and then there are other things i ask them to do such as wash the dinner dishes, clear the table, wipe off the counters that type of thing. my 3 year old is a work in progress, we are trying to teach him to put his toys away when it is naptime and bedtime. my 2 year old is a regular little mommys helper. he LOVES to clean! he will put laundry in the washer, thow garbage away, pick up his toys and wipe his booster seat for me. i too believe that chores help teach responcibility and ownership of things. the kids live in the house too, so they should take pride in it and how it is kept up!!! i dont think you are asking too much of your kids, be persistant with them. i still have to tell my kids every day to do their chores. and i have to check them when they say they do them. if i find them not done there are consequences, like no computer time for the day... or what they really hate are extra chores the next day!!!

Tonille - posted on 02/27/2009

5

44

0

I have taught my 3 year old from the age of 1 to help pick up her things. As soon as she became excited to 'put things in baskets' I went out and bought some smaller plastic bins with lids. Most of her smaller toys (ie kitchen food, blocks, train tracks, etc) are housed in these bins. She gets them out and plays and when it is time to pick up she knows they go back in the tote, puts the lid on and puts in back in its place. Some days she is slower picking up than others :) but she is only 3 so I dont expect racing speeds. Her little brother is 4 months and when he is 1 I will teach him the same thing. It makes clean up time go so much faster and most times all I have to say is go clean up your play room and she goes.

User - posted on 02/26/2009

5

13

0

I think chores are a great idea for kids, it teaches them responsibility and respect. Resepct for their home, possesions and Me!
My 5 & 8 y/o girls are expected to do certain things daily - hangs wet towel in the bathroom, put dirty washing in basket etc. They have hooks for their schoolbag and a shoe box. They take turns with most jobs. My oldest likes to wipe over the bathroom and 5y/o likes to vacuum, so I let them help me. It's not perfect but it helps me.
In turn, they get pocket money, $1 for each yr, ie. $8 & $5. But if they don't do jobs or they are naughty I deduct 50c.

Holly - posted on 02/26/2009

7

25

0

Well my birth kids are 23 and 19 and i started early.....but my step  son was put in front of a tv for a babysitter and just cant do even the smallest of chores. Much less everyday things like telling time and brushing teeth...changing underwear....homework....blah blah blah! He has no concept of time...time of the year... months of the year....no clue! He has an inheritance of alot ...alot of $$$ coming and his granma against our will told him. Since then he just excists. I think I need Dr. Phil!!

Nicole - posted on 02/26/2009

12

33

0

you should of started at 3 w/little things like picking up toys and making a game out of it! so by the time they are 12 or they no a sence of responsabilty for their own stuff. I am a single mom of tiwn girls who are now 14 1/2 and i have made them help me w/stuff since they were 3, and now they no what thier chores are and if they are not done they have consequences....good luck! plus the chores should be age appropriate.

Carrie - posted on 02/26/2009

4

13

0

We have 5 kids ages 14, 12, 8, and 3. The older 5 have a chore list posted in the kitchen. The rule is that they have to do at least 2 chores a day and they get 50 cents per chore completed. The chores include: taking out the kitchen and bathroom garbages, cleaning the cat litter box, food and water for the cat, taking out the recycle, crushing the soda can, cleaning the tv and windows, running the vacuum, and cleaning the toilet. If they don't have their initials down for doing the chore then they don't get the money. It seems to be working for them.

Jeanne - posted on 02/26/2009

6

20

1

my sons who are 18 and 5 have chores....this was taught from the time they could walk. it wont hurt them.

[deleted account]

I have 7yr old twin girls, they are expected to take the garbage out daily (kitchen & bathroom) and pick up toys, clothes or whatever other clutter they create thru out the day.  After dinner they are expected to help clear the table & usually will volunteer to help load dishwasher or hand wash dishes.  I think it is a great start for them becoming responsible little people. 

Kelly - posted on 02/26/2009

6

16

0

I give my children an allowance and I see that as a perk of being in the family. I only ever ask them once to to a chore ( we have had a family meeting to decide what chores are up for grabs and when I expect them done ) and if they don't do it, I deduct the "worth" of that chore and either pay it to myself if I have done the job, or pay it to another sibling. At our place there are always others waiting to make some extra dollars. I think families need to work together and everyone pulling their weight is part of the family thing. If you don't pull your weight and someone has to carry you, then that's where some of the "perks" of being in a family start to disappear, like pocket money, being driven places etc.

Michelle - posted on 02/26/2009

2

16

0

I have 6 children twins 2 and 6,7,10,12 and they all do chores, the elder ones pack the dishes away and help with the dog and cats, the 2 middle one need to go round the house put shoes and toys and things away. The little ones help by putting all the toys in the toy boxes etc.

They all have too help with their rooms and the yard. Maybe I give them too much to do but how will they ever learn if we dont teach them.

Dora - posted on 02/26/2009

1

11

0

I started teaching my kids to do chores when they were young. I have 5 kids total 3 are step kids, two are mine.

I teach/taught them to clean up after themselves at about the age of 3. My biggest challenge now is getting my 16 yr old to help at all...lol go figure....teens!

I ask my 8 yr old to keep her room clean and toys picked up. It isnt much to ask. I believe that it greatly reduces my work load when she helps like that.

Terry - posted on 02/26/2009

58

58

4

My kids are 9, 6 and 4....my two oldest have chores. They clean their rooms, vacum, clean up after dinner and set the table before dinner. they dust and help with the laundry. I have a chore wheel for the week and they change every week so one kids isn't doing the same thing all the time. it helps them earn some money and keep their prevledges as well. I find they are very well-rounded now they have some responsibilty.

Rachel - posted on 02/26/2009

24

51

0

I had my step daughter put anyway silverware, spoons, forks thinks like that. I also had her fold hand towels for the kitchen or wash clothes. She also like to sort clothes before wash. He help them with color. Whites here, colors there and sheets you get the idea. But just look around. Wiping off the kitchen table after a meal, There are a ton of things you can have them do. IT also helps them with being indepent. I hope these ideas help.

June - posted on 02/26/2009

4

12

0

I have a 16 and 12 year old and they are both expected to keep their rooms clean and one is to take out the trash 16 year old and the 12 year old is expected to take out the recycles.  At  breakfast, lunch and dinner I put clean water in the dish pan and each person is expected to wash rinse and dry their own dishes everyday.  Including the husband!!  other wise anything that is their's that is laying around they are expected to have it picked up and put it away before bedtime.

Lisa - posted on 02/26/2009

2

19

0

I know exactly how u feel about sending your chid off to college "helpless"  I have a 12 year old daughter who doesn't seem to have any skills beyond the iphone or computer.  I shower and she forgets, then it seem like I spend twice as long going back and re-doing it how I want it done.  I feel like it would just be easier to do it myself the first time, but I know she will never learn how if I always do it for her.  So frustrating!!

Clare - posted on 02/26/2009

8

25

0

I have an 11, 10 and 4 year old and chores is usually a cause for a huge debate in my house. i expect them all to know where the laundry basket is and not the floor, they all make their own bed (the 4 year old tries but needs help) and i expect the older 2 to do the dishes once or twice a week, but they think thats unfair. If they want to go to the cinema etc with their friends then they have to do extra jobs around the house to earn pocket money, nothing drastic just general help.

Paula - posted on 02/26/2009

6

4

1

i have 2 boys, 10 and 7, they are expected to help clear the table after dinner, feed the dog and cat, get dirty laundry downstairs, pick up any toys that are out at the end of the night before going to bed, keep their rooms tidy and they take turns taking out the trash.

Carmon - posted on 02/26/2009

3

3

0

Hello,
I think 4 is a great age to teach kids responsibility and chores is part of that.
They need to learn that nothing comes for free.
Teach them with an allowance. For what their age is, that is what they get per week and if they miss a chore, you would deduct from their allowance. You can even use treats/movie night in/out too as reward instead of money.
Hope this helps a little.
Carmon

Andrea - posted on 02/26/2009

169

1

21

I have a 3 1/2 year old & he's expected to help clean up his toys & other little things. I can say when I way a kid I had to clean our bathroom every week, help clean up dinner, clean my room & take out the trash in all the bathrooms.

Amy - posted on 02/26/2009

6

6

0

My son is 16 and since the age of 12 he has been expected to do the dishes, take out the trash before and on trash day and keep his room clean.  When he turned 15 I added picking up the dog poop and tought him to do his own laundry.  Some people might think that's to much but he is very responsible and I give him money when ever he asks for it which is often and he has a job.  I believe you are not hurting your child you are helping them become a better adult and not dependent on other people.

Holly - posted on 02/26/2009

7

25

0

I have a 13 yr old step son. He is expected to keep his room clean, take out the trash daily, and feeding the animals. He has had this list of chores since we got married 4 yrs ago....and still doesn't do them daily without being reminded or he will just lie and say he did them knowing we know better. I have been told that this is too much for him to handle. I totally disagree. Or maybe I am old fashioned. I am 41 and was helping out with housework and cooking at 8. And on Saturdays we had to mow before going to the pool...I was about 10 and my older brother 12.  We never argued we just did it and then got our reward of going to the pool or movies. We both got $5 a week and even back then that was't much! We were brought up that everyone pulls their own weight . I dread 4 oclock every day....i hear the bus pull up and know that there will be drama. Sometimes  I just want to say forget it and do it myself! But then I think...hmmm....in 5 yrs he will be going to college and be helpless. Help!!!!!

Kerra - posted on 02/26/2009

8

4

0

I feel that it is important to a child's development to have the responsibility of chores.  I am not a drill seargant mom by any means, but my two older children, who are 3 and 2, already have the chore of picking their toys up and putting them where they are supposed to go.  Chores are a way of teaching our kids how to be sufficient when we enter the real world and are on our own.  When I was a child, I had chores that I had to do daily and weekly.  I was in charge of doing the dishes and emptying the ice trays as well as keeping my room clean on  a daily basis.  Every weekend, i was in charge of dusting, sweeping and mopping.  Your children, naturally are going to think that it is unfair.  What kid likes doing chores?  But the fact remains that every child should have some degree of responsibility, or else they will grow up being babied and not know how to function on their own.  You are doing the right thing!

Jennifer - posted on 02/26/2009

46

23

3

My 4 yr old and 2 yr old have to pick up their toys. I don't expect perfection, and I usually do the final tidy-up. My 4 yr old also has the resposability of making sure the dog has food in his dish. And I do ask them to hang up their jackets and put their boots away, all within their reach. It isn't much, hope it helps some.

Jennifer - posted on 02/26/2009

46

23

3

My 4 yr old and 2 yr old have to pick up their toys. I don't expect perfection, and I usually do the final tidy-up. My 4 yr old also has the resposability of making sure the dog has food in his dish. And I do ask them to hang up their jackets and put their boots away, all within their reach. It isn't much, hope it helps some.

Danielle - posted on 02/26/2009

1

23

1

I have 5 kids, and all of them to some degree have chores. The 15 and 12 year old vaccum the floors every other night and the 11 year old takes out the trash every night. As far as the 6 and 4 year old, they just have to keep their room picked up. I think it is good for kids to have chores, it teaches them responsibilties. Hope this helps :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms