Chores ! Help I can't do everything alone? and they don't see anythin

LEE - posted on 05/25/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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There is so much to do in a home.
ONe kid put the dishes away . that is the chore of the day and the other may sort of clean her room ~ nobody sees it anyway mom ? I find it difficult to even sit all day because there is so much to do but they are just sitting watching tv or just say why don't you sit down? I hate a mess around and the house certainly isn't as tidy as I would like but they see nothing?
When I say anything they tell me to chill or that I"m obsessive compulsive?
I constantly have to pick up after them and put stuff away. I know they won't be here forever but I would like some sembelance of order when I am here!

If you have any tips I would appreciate it

feeling disprespected

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/25/2016

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If they were raised with chores, why on earth would you suddenly allow the flip? Mine, who are now 21 & 18, have been doing their own laundry since the age of 10. They each have a night to cook for the family, and they each have and do other chores. Granted, my eldest has been on his own since 19, but the younger still lives here and contributes.

Be strong, give them consequences, and stick to them.

Jodi - posted on 05/25/2016

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Why do you pick up after them and put their stuff away? I'd throw it out. If they can't pick up after themselves, they lose it. And with regard to other things, how about you stop doing their laundry for a bit, cook only yourself dinner and when they ask what's for dinner, say "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were all not doing chores any more and just fending for ourselves" or something like that. Remove their privileges - doesn't that TV belong to you? Move it to your room and out of the main living area if they refuse to turn it off and do their chores. There's plenty of things you can do to get the message across.

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Sarah - posted on 05/26/2016

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You are doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them (or letting them learn on their own) things like pulling out the fridge to clean underneath or throwing out expired condiments and other refrigerated items. Cleaning floors seems pretty self explanatory you think, until my husband washed our kitchen floor by spraying it down with Windex and skating around with paper-towels under his feet. He didn't know any better, sad for a grown man.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/26/2016

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What do you mean "chores do cleaning floors and fridges etc"?? Those are most certainly valid chores and general life skills. You say that they do nothing, sit on their butts...and then you flip flop and say they do laundry...which probably means that they DO things around the house.

Either way, they are both ADULTS residing in your home. They should be paying room and board, and they should be under a contract with you. This is not to be a raging bitch, but to help them prepare for being on their own.

Sarah - posted on 05/26/2016

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When I think of all of the life skills my parents taught me at a young age, I wonder how I had time for school. Oh yeah, we didn't have a TV until I was 13. Granted we lived on a small farm so there were plenty of chores. I consider housework and chores to be a learning need. This past weekend my 12 yo learned to use the weed wacker, 14 yo learned how to change break pads and my 17 yo learned how to clean out the fridge and freezer. If I ever hope to produce independent beings, then they have to know how to do everything; scrubbing floors included.

LEE - posted on 05/26/2016

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they do their own laundry yes and also my son is still in school. He will graduate in a month. so no he isn't paying rent.
My daughter is in university and only lives home in the summer.
The do their own laundry. Chores do not involve cleaning floors and fridges etc.
it's just simple stuff usually.

thank you for your time

Michelle - posted on 05/25/2016

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I agree with Jodi.
My boys have been doing their own laundry for a couple of years and they are only 14 and 12. They know if they don't do it they don't have clean clothes.
You need to be tough and let them know if they want to continue to live there then they need to stick to the house rules.
Do what you do for children, draw up a chore chart and allocate who does what. If they want to act like children then they can be treated like it.

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