MaryAnn - posted on 02/29/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )
This is not a thing I am proud of, moms... I'm a smoker. I am so embarrassed that I think this is the first time I've even called myself a smoker.
I dont smoke in the house, or the car. Or most public places, because it's Ontario law. My kids rarely see it, I dont even have pictures of the behaviour on social media.
My family and history is full of smokers. I quit for a few months a couple years back, and seriously weaned while pregnant... I use it as a crutch, and, sadly, its always kinda the only time I get regularly to spend time just hubby and I. Ive asked him many times to quit with me, you know... Support. Hes never been ready. I know I dont need him to do it myself.
Ive been thinking about quitting for months... Years maybe. Considering all sorts of options... Weighing them in my head.
I tried to quit last week... But quickly discovered I wasnt ready.
I get into bad habits really easily... I often feel I need a crutch. Will power is something I've always had. I quit meat no problem. Marijuana. Cutting. Soda....
I just feel so hopeless in quitting this tobacco.
Today, my husband quit smoking. Just came home from work, said it had been five hours. Hes not doing it anymore. Hasnt had one since he's been home. Is it for real? Who knows.
I'm rambling on like some kind of addict. I am an addict. And the weight of that... Just makes me want to have a smoke.
Am I ready? Do I want to quit?
I just dont even know.
Kinda hoping someone has some experience, or advice... Or even just a reassuring word? Idk.
Any moms out there tonight? I need one.
... I know mine isnt gonna quit until she dies.