Cigarettes

MaryAnn - posted on 02/29/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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This is not a thing I am proud of, moms... I'm a smoker. I am so embarrassed that I think this is the first time I've even called myself a smoker.
I dont smoke in the house, or the car. Or most public places, because it's Ontario law. My kids rarely see it, I dont even have pictures of the behaviour on social media.
My family and history is full of smokers. I quit for a few months a couple years back, and seriously weaned while pregnant... I use it as a crutch, and, sadly, its always kinda the only time I get regularly to spend time just hubby and I. Ive asked him many times to quit with me, you know... Support. Hes never been ready. I know I dont need him to do it myself.
Ive been thinking about quitting for months... Years maybe. Considering all sorts of options... Weighing them in my head.
I tried to quit last week... But quickly discovered I wasnt ready.
I get into bad habits really easily... I often feel I need a crutch. Will power is something I've always had. I quit meat no problem. Marijuana. Cutting. Soda....
I just feel so hopeless in quitting this tobacco.
Today, my husband quit smoking. Just came home from work, said it had been five hours. Hes not doing it anymore. Hasnt had one since he's been home. Is it for real? Who knows.
I'm rambling on like some kind of addict. I am an addict. And the weight of that... Just makes me want to have a smoke.
Am I ready? Do I want to quit?
I just dont even know.
Kinda hoping someone has some experience, or advice... Or even just a reassuring word? Idk.
Any moms out there tonight? I need one.
... I know mine isnt gonna quit until she dies.

5 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 03/01/2016

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Been there done that. I know how you feel. I really do. I smoked for 20 years. Quitting is HARD. Really HARD. As a teacher of teenagers, I can't tell you how often I've told kids its hard to quit and they just wave their hands and say "whatever" (there's probably even an eye roll with that). I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger.

It took me more than once to quit. It took many times (to be fair, I was suffering really bad depression in that time). Finally I went to my doctor and went on medication. That was 5 years ago and I have NEVER smoked another cigarette. In fact, I can't stand the smell and I go the other direction if I do smell it. But you do need to be ready. you do need to WANT to quit. All the medication and strategies in the world will not work if you don't make the effort and want to change.

Rob - posted on 03/01/2016

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For me it was a combination of things, I had breathing issues (copd) been wanting to quit forever. But the deal breaker was when my granddaughter would not let me hold her newborn because I always smelled like smoke. I quit by using nicotine pills for about six months and finally weened myself off them, been 18 months now. To be honest I still cheat but it's only when I'm traveling and not around the family. Good Luck

MaryAnn - posted on 03/01/2016

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Im watching that happen to my grandfather. About 20 years ago, he coughed himself unconscious driving alone at 100km/h. He was pronounced dead twice, somehow survived, even went back to work after months in icu now has copd. I know his survival is a freak incident. I see the toll it has taken on his life. It doesnt scare me half as much as how the non smokers in my family die.
My biggest motovation to quit is the expense. Not only in dollars, but in minutes, too. Where I live, smoking is so taboo that smokers arent even coralled like criminals. Its legal to buy, but there is really no legal place to smoke.
My question for you, if you come back... Is how you quit? Was it just a cold turkey Im done thing? How did you know you were ready? When did you feel success in quitting?

Rob - posted on 03/01/2016

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My wife and I smoked foe over 40 years however, being a male it didn't make much difference when it came to my relationship. Our kids were all normal and eventually we both quit. The secret when you decide to quit smoking you will most likely die from smoke related illness.

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