Circ regrets

Merry - posted on 04/29/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I know there's alot of complications that can happen after a circumcision. And many moms like myself chose to circumcise without knowing the full facts about it.
Please share your stories about boys who have had bad side effects, complications, or damage done from being circumcised.
Many people believe it is a simple and safe surgery, but there seems to be alot of problems happening to boys who have had the surgery.

Also, please share if you were going to circ your baby, but had a girl instead, and now have learned more about it and changed your choice to never circumcise any sons.

Statistics are very helpful, but personal stories keep it real, and we need to remember that every boy who contributes to a statistic, is someone's precious baby boy.

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Ez - posted on 04/29/2011

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Jodi I totally agree with you. Regret and guilt don't help anyone. Simple acknowledgement of the new information is all that is needed.

Jodi - posted on 04/29/2011

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I circumcised my son (he is now almost 14). At the time, circumcision was more common, and to be honest, I really didn't know any different. I wasn't fussed one way or the other, and every male I ever knew (including all 4 of my brothers) was circumcised, so when my husband at the time was so insistent on it, I just never questioned it.

When I was pregnant with my daughter (she is now 6), I had learned a lot more, and my current husband and I agreed that if she was a boy, circumcision was not necessary. Evidently, in the intervening years, it had become far less comon, and the debate had become more public. Besides, my husband's son was not circumcised, and we had dealt with that too, and I realised it wasn't the issue my ex husband made it out to be.

As it turned out, she was a girl, and we won't have to worry about that decision again. But to me, these days, it is a no brainer. I am really glad that hospitals and doctors in Australia make it difficult to have done anyway. It isn't recommended by AMA here at all, as research has shown the benefits (which are on incredibly thin ice) do not outweigh the risks, so therefore not recommended at all. Obviously, if it needs to be done for medical reasons, then fine, but otherwise, it really is purely a cosmetic procedure.

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Laura, your regret and guilt make sense since he's had problems w/ it. Not that you SHOULD feel guilt, of course, but it's understandable how/why you do.

I shouldn't post anything else on this post since my son is circ, hasn't had any issues, and I don't regret it. None of my 4 nephews are done though.... if that helps any. ;)

Jodi - posted on 04/29/2011

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Oh, I just want to add that I don't have *regrets*, I did what I thought was right at the time, just as we all do, so regrets are really pointless. My son is happy, it hasn't caused him any problems, so I dont' regret it, I just would have done it differently if I knew what I know now. That's different to having regrets.

Minnie - posted on 04/29/2011

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If my first had been a boy she surely would have been circumcised. Mostly for silly asthetic reasons. We also received extremely-pro circumcision scare-tactic propaganda from my OBGYN (no wonder, she would have done the surgery).

But my birth experience with my first led me to do hundreds of hours of research when I became pregnant with my second and during that time I learned about how unecessary and harmful circumcision is. Now I cannot conceive of how we could have been so glib about cutting a healthy body part off of our (potential) son's body.

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Merry - posted on 04/29/2011

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I know it doesn't help, but I do regret it, and I do feel guilty still :/ maybe in time.....
But maybe it's harder because he was damaged by it. And in my heart I knew I didn't want to do it, but I just had no facts at the time to dispute it properly.

Mabel - posted on 04/29/2011

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I hate to hear of the pain these kids went through..I wish the DR of the world would educate new parents on what this procedure really is like and how it does affect baby's and men in the future.I choose not to get my son circed and after reading these few stories I am even more an inactivist than before.I am so happy to read that some can admit to this mistake and it gives me great hope in the future that this needless cosmetic surgery will be banned sometime soon.

Tinker1987 - posted on 04/29/2011

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thank you for sharing, it was a good reminder to why i didnt get my son circumsized it just didnt feel right.

Merry - posted on 04/29/2011

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I'll admit I did keep backing up circ for a while past when I knew it was wrong. It felt just awful to admit I messed up. I couldn't bare to say I did wrong by my baby. So I stupidly fought for the pro circ side to ease myguikt. But I realized that my backing up circ could cause another boyto go through what Eric had, and I couldn't stand that. I began speaking out against it as much as I can and now I try to always offer my story to try to save a few boys from the same fate. It's my only consolation for what I did to Eric, hopefully some boys will be spared by hearing his story!

Merry - posted on 04/29/2011

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I'll admit I did keep backing up circ for a while past when I knew it was wrong. It felt just awful to admit I messed up. I couldn't bare to say I did wrong by my baby. So I stupidly fought for the pro circ side to ease myguikt. But I realized that my backing up circ could cause another boyto go through what Eric had, and I couldn't stand that. I began speaking out against it as much as I can and now I try to always offer my story to try to save a few boys from the same fate. It's my only consolation for what I did to Eric, hopefully some boys will be spared by hearing his story!

Ez - posted on 04/29/2011

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Great idea for a thread Laura! I hope you get some honest responses.

I am an intactivist, but I have nothing but respect for parents who can acknowledge their error and move forward. So many people cling blindly to the pro-circ rhetoric out of fear of admitting their mistake.

Merry - posted on 04/29/2011

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My story, Eric was circumcised at birth, and had no apparent problems. He healed well and had minimal pain from it. I thought everything was fine.

When he was just over a year old he saw an urgent care dr for what I thought was an infection on his penis. It was very red, swollen, and had yellowish pus on the side of the head.

The dr looked at it for a second and prescribed a cream to put on it.

The next week, the cream hadn't worked much at all, and Eric was having a fever and acted sick. I took him back to urgent care and a different dr said Eric had hand foot and mouth disease. He took a peek in erics diaper to check for a rash, but instead noticed erics skin and reattached to his penis. The 'pus' was smegma buildup that was trapped in the ring like pocket under the reattachment. The dr told me I had to pull back the skin off the head of his penis and that would fix it. He said it was a simple problem that is pretty common and minor. No big deal.

So I go home and attempt to do it. It's actually attached skin to skin so you can imagine it didn't just pull off easily like he said it would. I pulled so hard and only a tiny piece came off. I don't have a penis, but I can not imagine how much that hurt Eric. His cries made me shake it was so awful. I got that small piece back and had to stop. Eric was crying no no. I was crying! It was so bright red I worried it was bleeding, but it was just barely not. I waited about two days to try again because every time I changed his diaper he would start screaming and push my hands away. I had to hold him down on the floor using my ,leg over his legs and arms to try again. Unfortunately it again only pulled back a tiny amount of skin. It was about three weeks of staggered attempts before I got all the way around the penis and it was not a fun time for either of us.

He screamed no mom no every time I changed his diaper and I usually had to pin him down just to wipe him off every time, I hated myself.

It was so tender and red I couldn't believe how bad it looked. But at least it was over........or so I thought. It reattached yet again about two months later. I caught it quickly but I had been trying to let his penis be to help him forget the fear. But I noticed it stuck on again and I had to do it all over again. This time it only took about a week, but by now he was older and spoke better and broke my heart to hear him saying all done mommy all done!

This time I was careful to watch it closely for it to happen again, and did catch it a third time about halfway stuck. That time it only took three days to get it off, but his word of choice was owwie. I couldn't believe I did this to him. He was nearing two years old and I worried he would remember this pain. He barely ever played with himself in the tub and I worried he simply thought his penis was pain. I began to look into circumcision more closely and found that for every reason I had to do it in the first place there was sound facts proving it to be wrong. I felt so bad. My husband felt worse cuz I didn't want to do it in the first place but my husband had been told it was necessary and that there were no real risks.

We found so many risks, from so called 'minor risks' like my sons reattachment all the way up to the risk of death.



We both regret our decision and would never circumcise another child.

Thankfully Eric is now a bit past 2 years old and has not reattached in months, and he seems to be slowly forgetting the pain association with me and his penis. He still pushes me away if I try to wipe it off, but he doesn't cry instantly anymore. I hope in time he forgets the whole ordeal, but I worry about underlying pain memories.



If this is what's called a simple surgery with minor risks, and what happened to Eric is a common minor side effect, I can't imagine how awful the serious side effects are, what the really bad risks are. I can't imagine it getting much worse then this. But I know it's true.

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