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MOST HELPFUL POSTS
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 10/30/2013
I'm going to start by reiterating Jodi's post: "It isn't him, it is you. Just because you didn't feel like this with your first child doesn't mean it isn't you that has the issue. You haven't mentioned what disability your child has, but the feelings of killing your child are not normal and not healthy, and need to be addressed with a professional. If you are not coping with your child's disability, professional help can also be effective with this. But whatever you do, please seek out a professional to talk to about your feelings."
Having a child with a disability or medical problems is a whole different ballgame.
Without knowing what the disability is, I can safely say that you feel betrayed, you feel hurt, you feel overwhelmed at the prospect of possibly providing lifetime care for this child, rather than having him grow up "normally" and progress to a life on his own. You may also feel some guilt, wondering if there was something that you could have done to prevent this before the birth, or if there was something that you did do during the pregnancy to cause the disability. All of these feelings are normal. They are part of the stages of dealing with life changing things, such as disability.
What is NOT normal, by any means, is the desire to kill your child and yourself. This is MAJOR. And, no, none of us will give you suggestions on how to go about doing it.
PLEASE go see a counselor. With you being in Lincoln, I know that there are several very good resources in your immediate area. Please look for a counselor, and a physician for yourself. There are support groups for parents of children with disabilities, and I recommend strongly getting involved with one of them as well. They are an excellent source of both support and education on children with disabilities, as well as a source of respite care for you when you just need to be away for an hour or so to yourself.
Having a child with a disability is NOT a death sentence! That child can have a very fulfilling life, as long as everyone is on board for his care, and everyone caring for him understands his condition and needs, and also remembers to take care of themselves physically, and mentally.
Kristen - posted on 10/30/2013
Omg I cant even belive what I am reading!! You need to get some help if not for you for the safety of your child!! If u hate your child so much and wish death upon him then bring the baby to an adoption center or to a hospital. There are plenty of people in this world who would love that baby disabled or not!! You r a selfish and sick women who I wish I knew more about so I could report you!! Im sayin a prayer for that baby!!
Jodi - posted on 10/30/2013
It isn't him, it is you. Just because you didn't feel like this with your first child doesn't mean it isn't you that has the issue. You haven't mentioned what disability your child has, but the feelings of killing your child are not normal and not healthy, and need to be addressed with a professional. If you are not coping with your child's disability, professional help can also be effective with this. But whatever you do, please seek out a professional to talk to about your feelings.
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I did not stop thinking about you last night. I was afraid to comment because I am not sure how my words are going to sound. This is very serious and like Dove said maybe you need to stop everythind and call 911. Please do get the help that you need and believe that there are ways to cope with this other than death.
Chey - posted on 10/30/2013
I also, have a severely disabled child. His diagnosis is so rare, most doctors have no idea what it is. I was basically handed my child after he was in NICU for 7 long weeks and I was told that my son was basically an unwritten book. The specialists didn't know what to tell me. The specialists. No joke. I did the best I could by accepting and loving my child and pouring hours of myself into the internet to find answers and help and similar medical cases. I learnt to accept my child. I fell in love with him. It is difficult, it is scary-especially when you have no guidance from a doctor to go by, it is haunting at times and depressing. But it is also inspirational to raise a special needs child. You learn to love like you didn't think you could. You become so filled with pride when your child does meet his milestones. It is a long journey, you will need much support and strength, but it will be the most empowering experience if you learn to love and embrace your child. If you cannot, however accept your child do the right thing. Your child deserves love and quality of life. Take your child to social services or the emergency ward if you are as delusional as you sound. Your child needs specialists and people who accept and love him and will provide what he needs to thrive.
Dove - posted on 10/30/2013
I will also offer ♥ for you. You may very well have PPD,, especially given your son's disability. PLEASE for the sake of your entire family... either call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room and get the help you need.
Gena - posted on 10/30/2013
I agree with the other ladies,you need help.Dont feel ashamed to get help. There are lots of ways to get help,if speeking to a therapist helps do it! Or if you have to go to a clinic then go. Please look after yourself and son..things will get better,trust me.Some things just need time and help but you will get better.Good luck
Nikki - posted on 10/30/2013
Have you got a family member that can take your son while you get some help? Like Michelle said you really need to see a professional. I would really recommend getting a trusted friend or family member to confide in so that they can help you. Maybe ring your emergency line if you are feeling like you cannot control these negative thoughts?
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