Circle of Mums - Support Group or filled with Judgemental Know it all's

Myrtle - posted on 09/09/2011 ( 25 moms have responded )

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I thought this site was for mums who needs support and that mums would get together and give advice and support one another in a world that is a rat race and we need all the support we can get. People will have different opinions and ways of doing things, but to be negative and criticize one another and use words like "shame on you". I am not a child who needs to be reprimanded by other mothers who also just needs support to get through life and do the best by our/their kids. If you know everything then share but if you do not want to share and is negative towards the other moms please go away....now that is very juvenile and I am loving it..........

To all the other moms out there who supports and shares with out showing their misgivings and does not verbalize their "I totally disagree with how you are handling this" but instead offers another solution to the problem and really supports good for you...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/09/2011

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Excuse me?!? WTF?!? You write a post about everyone being so mean, and you want them to stop. I wrote a rather nice post to you, and you are acting exactly the way you are begging people to stop being. And how long have you been a part of this community? And, I was telling you how long I was a part of it, cause it takes time to get used to the way people are. thank you very much for your unnecessarily rude and sarcastic tone.

Johnny - posted on 09/09/2011

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It can be difficult to read tone and intention on an internet site. For example, when I read Marina's first post, I saw it as nice and helpful. You clearly saw it as rude and condescending. Perhaps you could try giving other posters the benefit of the doubt, not reading so much negativity into their posts, and you might enjoy your time here better. Otherwise this place is clearly just going to make you miserable. It's an internet site, try not taking it quite so seriously.

Krista - posted on 09/09/2011

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In a site with 10,219,431 members, it's inevitable that you are going to get some conflict and some people who aren't always polite.

If you feel that you are being personally attacked, then please flag the post and we mods will be more than happy to address it.

Otherwise, these things ARE sometimes going to happen, and my advice is to not take it personally -- there are a lot of fantastic ladies on here with excellent advice and support. So don't let the judgmental ones turn you off from the whole experience.

Thanks!

Krista

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/09/2011

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I cannot help but feel you are doing the exact thing that you are complaining about.

Katherine is right, it is inevitable to run into conflict. This is just the welcome page, there are so many groups out there, it is mind boggling. I suggest looking through the communities and finding a group that suites your needs.

CoM has been a great support for me. I have made some truly wonderful friends in here. I have been on for 2 1/2 years though. By your amount of posts, I am guessing you are relatively new. Give it some time. Get into the groove. There will be people you completely agree with, and on the very next thread, not agree with them at all. Different walks of life make the world go round.

JuLeah - posted on 09/09/2011

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Yup - attempt at humor - and sort of attempting to make a point - about how we often do the thing we say we dislike in the process of naming what we dislike ... for example: my mother bitches all the time about how much she hates it when people complain and make neg. comments ... yahhh

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25 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 09/09/2011

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I agree, I think it seems a bit pointless. May as well lock it before this one deteriorates as well :)

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2011

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I would love to know... what the hell this post is even about.

[deleted account]

This doesn't just happen in Mum's forums. I've seen worse bitching and judging in equestrian forums. It's human nature I'm afraid.

Dana - posted on 09/09/2011

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****Mod warning***

Alright everyone lets keep it nice. :)

~Dana WtCoM moderator

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/09/2011

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I thought she was. I totally marked her post as funny. If I shouldn't have, let me know so I can take it off.

JuLeah - posted on 09/09/2011

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Is that to me Johnny? Actually when I read her first post, I too marked it as helpful .. it was her responce to Marina I thought rude - and ironic given her original post was on the topic of rude ... we can think people are rude when in fact, they simply disagree with us - it is ok to disagree - even change your mind with new information

JuLeah - posted on 09/09/2011

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Myrtle ... agree, everyone can be so stupid, and rude, and name calling, and condescending, and judgemental, and nasty of me when all I am doing is pointing out the ways they are wrong

People should be more supportive of me and my efforts

~♥Little Miss - posted on 09/09/2011

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OOps. Forgot to point out how condescending you were being. Don't want to forget that, with all the dears.

Myrtle - posted on 09/09/2011

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Assuming again my dear........Marina.....I am not new to this my dear....you want to equate someones validity by the amount of posts........someone should give you some award for pointing out your 2 1/2 year stint.......this is circle of moms not I qualify by the post that I post.......fair;y new at posting or being a mom...please be clear before guessing how new I am......

Myrtle - posted on 09/09/2011

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Dear Kelly, I do agree with you......how do they say in Afrikaans "'n stil bek is 'n heel bek"

Myrtle - posted on 09/09/2011

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Dear Steph, I do agree with you....do not let anyone make your efforts as a mother/parent seem mundane or a waste of time. You are doing a great job in just admitting that you need reasurance and that you need positive input from others.....good luck to you and stay strong girl......

[deleted account]

I think that you'll find most "mom" communities have some mothers who are judgemental at best. Downright nasty at worst. To me, as long as you're feeding your kids and giving them the loving home every child deserves, I could care less about when your kid is potty trained, whether you BFd or FFd, etc. It's none of my business and if people are willing to put their private lives out in search of honest and helpful advice in a place where I come to do the same, then the only appropriate response is to offer the best advice I can or keep my yap shut if I can't. :)

Tania - posted on 09/09/2011

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I think its both. I tend to get frustrated by the responses to the OP not really the OP itself.

[deleted account]

I agree I got told I deserved everything I got ! x but there are some gems out there but reading the comments of people who seem to be nominating themselves for mother of the year its dis heartening and upsetting. well I'd just like to here their childrens opinions because I bet they'd be suprised at what they heard ! Im a well known worrier its in my nature I need reasurring because I want to make sure my children are getting the best possible emotional care from me. I think If I was so self assured in everything I would only be taking my feelings into the equation x its good to get a varied range of advice because just like people children are all diffrent too !! x

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