Cleaning up after your self

Theresa - posted on 07/02/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My niece has came home from college and she throws her stuff all over the place dirty and clean clothes all over the floor this is my pet peva. We have conversations over and over about this and she just doesn't take me serious. This is the only thing I asked of her. She leaves with her boyfriend half the time and half time here because I want allow her boyfriend to spend the night. I feel if I let him spend the night he will think he can live here. That's no happening. I am at the point if she can't respect what I ask since she does not pay rent I will charge her rent and she can leave her room however she wants and I will take the money to redo her room when she moves out I know some parents say just shut the door but it's my house and I want it to be pick up always. Your advise

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Jodi - posted on 07/03/2016

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I'd let her know that if it isn't cleaned up by her, you will clean it, and you will be cleaning it with a garbage bag, and the clothes left lying around in piles on the floor will end up at the dump. Period. personally, I am a "shut the door" type of mother, as long as it is tidied up occasionally, but your house your rules. I've done that with toys before.

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Nadine - posted on 07/05/2016

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I personally am a shut the door kind of person, but my mom was a "Clean your bloody room" sort. Your house, your rules. If you want to charge rent, charge rent, but what difference is it going to make with the mess, unless you are going to hire someone to clean her room. I would simply tell her that as an adult she can follow the rules, or find her own place to live. And if she is working she should be paying rent anyway.

Jodi - posted on 07/04/2016

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Why do I keep getting notifications that Sandra posted to this? And there is no post from a Sandra?

Jodi - posted on 07/04/2016

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I missed the part where she was 21. Charge rent AND set up a rental agreement as to the conditions she is expected to maintain in her room and any other conditions. If she can't stick to the agreement, she can find somewhere else.

Michelle - posted on 07/04/2016

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Well at 21 she should be paying rent anyway! Anytime you have an adult child in your house you need to have a contract in place. This needs to outline chores, responsibilities, rent, etc.
I would do what Jodi said. Let her know that if she leaves the house without putting her things away you will put them all in the rubbish. If she leaves without cleaning then you also need to follow through! Just like with toddlers, if you don't follow through with a threat they will just ignore you.

Theresa - posted on 07/03/2016

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She has lived with me since she was 7 yrs old the courts took her away from her parents we were the only ones in the family that would take her and her sister. I struggle with this the whole time she lived with me until she went to college. She comes home when she she has breaks. I confronted her on Saturday again and she told me she had no where to put her clothes so I put a dresser in her room. She told me she would do it when she came home, she came home with her boyfriend and just laid on the couch. I feel if she is just going to ignore me. i need to take another approach, this has been a fight for years and I am tired it she is not a teenager anymore she is a 21 yr old adult and if she doesn't want to keep the floor in the room picked up and that's the only thing I asked. Then I am going to start charges her rent. i will take the money from the rent she will pay me and redo the room (carpet, paint,etc.
after she moves out permanently.

Dove - posted on 07/02/2016

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Leaving clothes all over the floor doesn't destroy the room.... Yes, it's a mess, but if it's your house and you want it cleaned up I'm not understanding how charging rent will all of a sudden make you OK w/ the mess... because really... if you have to 'redo' a room simply because there were clothes on the floor... something is wrong.

If you want to charge rent... do it. It is your home and your right to have it how you want.

Maybe the next time she is w/ her boyfriend you can bag up all the clothes and she can pay to get them back....

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