co parenting with ex

Melissa - posted on 11/17/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Does anyone else 'co-parent' with their ex without communicating?

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Jessica - posted on 08/19/2017

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My ex and I communicate but it's not healthy and I end up upset or frustrated afterwards. The hardest part for me has been his new gf that he introduced to our kids immediately. They have been together only a few months and he has our sons every second weekend and she is always there. My oldest is upset because he never just spends time with him because she's very needy and clingy. She's done a few things that have totally crossed the line but so far ive stayed calm. I don't know how much how more I can take

Michelle - posted on 11/18/2013

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Actually I was thinking shared care but if it's only every 2nd weekend then emails are easy. That way things are down in writing.

Jodi - posted on 11/17/2013

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Actually, I co-parent without communicating verbally, but not without communicating altogether. I've been doing that for about 9 years. My ex used to verbally abuse me each time I tried to discuss issues with him, and due to threats and abuse whenever he picked our son up, I took out a DVO and we started a relationship of no contact other than by email, text message or letter. We even had supervised pickup and drop off.

But basically, we still had to communicate. However, because my ex only saw his son every other weekend for one night, it was quite easy to communicate this way because often there was little to communicate. If there had been a joint custody arrangement, it would possibly have been a little more inconvenient, but it could have worked.

My son is now 16 and for the last few years, communications have mostly been through him. He is old enough to arrange to go to his dad's and discuss it with me. He is old enough to let dad know when he has to work, or when he can't go because he has sport, or what time he has to be at training, etc.

Michelle - posted on 11/17/2013

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To co-parent properly you do need to communicate. You need to tell the other parent any significant things that happened at your house and vice versa. You also need to communicate if there are any appointments and a multitude of other things too numerous to list.

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