co- sleeping

Ricci - posted on 01/20/2011 ( 22 moms have responded )

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my girls are 5 and 3 and insist on sleeping in the same bed. Is there an age where I should make them sleep in their own beds?

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Charlie - posted on 01/23/2011

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I love how people pick extreme circumstances as an example .

I happen to know a lot of co sleepers both in RL and on AP communities have to say on a larger scale with a wider group pf people your example is rare Christine .

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I agree with Loureen. And I also think it depends on the child. When I was little I WANTED to sleep with my mom but she wouldn't let me. She made me stay in my bed and you know what happened? I couldn't sleep. For hours I'd lay there, afraid. Then, when I did manage to drift off, I had horrible nightmares, night terrors, sleep walked and some other issues that followed me until puberty. That's why I don't mind that my son likes sleeping with me. I won't do to him what was done to me. When he's ready for his bed, it's there and waiting for him and in the mean time, I'm happy to snuggle. Two sisters will, as most girls do, NEED their own space eventually and as long as it's available to them, I say let them sleep. Like someone said earlier, at least they're sleeping! Plus, I think it's sweet that they want to be so near each other. Sleeping is such an intimate thing to share with someone, and it requires trust. Who better to trust than a beloved sister?

Dawn - posted on 01/22/2011

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I only have one child, but I think I saw something on a science channel that said something about sharing a room is ok, as long as the kids have separate beds. I wish I could remember more...sorry. But, I believe it had something to do with learned codependency (sp?). Wish I could be more help...I'm dealing with a 10 year old who wants to sleep in my room on my floor, every night and the pediatrician said this would encourage codependency...which is what made me think of that show. Great luck to you! Dawn

Laura - posted on 01/21/2011

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My boys are 4 and 2 and we hand built them an awesome bunkbed and they both sleep in the same bed. It's more my 2 year old wants to sleep with big brother but he doesn't mind so much. I figure they will grow out of it. as long as they are comfy and not waking each other up.



I know a family that the girls are 8 and 10 and still sleep in the same bed. Twin bed and they are well... full figured girls.

Kate CP - posted on 01/21/2011

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Nah, they'll decide on their own. If it helps them sleep through the night to be together then let them. :)

Phyllis - posted on 01/21/2011

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My boys are 5 and 7 and share a bed. I figure they will quit when they are ready.

Tracy - posted on 01/21/2011

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Christine, trust me it bothers me too. BUT it's not enough to send CPS to investigate. Already checked into it. Mentioning it will only make him angry and take it out on my son, who will know I broke his confidence. The father doesn't listen, to me or anyone, reason #1249585060423 why he's the ex.

Christine - posted on 01/21/2011

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Tracy please do not take offense, but your comment bothers me. I personally would be a little concerned if my kids were made to sleep in the same bed by either parent.

Tracy - posted on 01/21/2011

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I co-slept with my kids when they were little bitty. I tried to get them in their own beds by the time they were 2, but their father would bring them back in. Now they're 4 and 9. At my house, they love their own beds in their own rooms. At their father's, he still makes them sleep either with him or together in my son's room. My son has expressed to his father that he's tired of the arrangement, but dear ol' dad doesn't listen. Just one more thing for my boy to talk to his therapist about....**sigh**

Christine - posted on 01/21/2011

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Well, my opinion is going to be different than most. Before I give my opinion I will give you an example of what co sleeping can do. This is a true life example, I know a girl who coslept with her mother and/or her sister for majority of her childhood she is now 12 years of age and CAN NOT handle sleeping in her own room much less her own bed. I have actually seen this happen more often than not when co sleeping continues for extended periods of time. There fore from personal experience and not what "books" says or "doctors" say I suggest that a routine of sleeping in their own beds be set up and then on special occasions or weekends they be allowed to co sleep. I know "doctors" say co sleeping is supposed to be a positive thing, but the MAJORITY of children I have personally seen that do this over their lifetime for years seem almost afraid to sleep alone.

Charlie - posted on 01/20/2011

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That is gorgeous , they will grow out of it on their own accord .

Casey - posted on 01/20/2011

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I don't think there is a problem with it and like Louise said once your eldest goes to school she'll probably decide she doesn't want to do it anymore anyways, but just keep an eye on their behaviour during the day because quite often people who co-sleep with kids end up having broken sleep or they don't get that refreshing sleep so they end up a bit over tired so just make sure they are not rubbing their eyes or getting grumpy cause they arn't getting a good night sleep cause they keep waking each other up, but if they're happy then I don't see any problem with it :)

Stifler's - posted on 01/20/2011

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Kids back in the day used to all sleep in a big bed, like 3 or 4 of them. As long as they're sleeping who cares!

Sylvia - posted on 01/20/2011

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I'm pretty sure they'll let you know when they get to the age where they need their own space :)

Dana - posted on 01/20/2011

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I don't think it's a problem, it's rather sweet. My sisters and I all used to sleep in each others beds, they'll eventually grow out of it.

Sabra - posted on 01/20/2011

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I don't think its an issue. You should have them ask eachother if its alright to sleep with the other one and only let them if they are both okay with it. You might find as the older one gets a little bit older she will want to sleep on her own but the younger one will still want to sleep with her sister. Just set up a few rules to go along with it and I see no harm in it.

Jodi - posted on 01/20/2011

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I don't think it would be a problem. I think, by far, the average child will come to the conclusion on their own they want to sleep in their own bed at some point. BUT, my sister is the exception! She ended up sleeping with me in my bed until she graduated highschool and left for college!!! When she came home for weekends (I'm 4 years younger than her) she would still sneak into my bed! It didn't both me so much, but it is/was a bit strange! I, on the other hand, had absolutely no problems sleeping on my own despite bed-sharing with my sister since toddlerhood! I say let it be, if it gets to be an issue, THEN deal with that, but I really doubt it will!

Lissa - posted on 01/20/2011

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If they aren't actually keeping each other awake to the point where they aren't getting enough sleep and can sleep alone if they wish I don't see an issue. Let them be eventually they will want their own space.

Katherine - posted on 01/20/2011

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No. As long as you are comfortable with it, there is nothing wrong with it IMO. In fact studies have shown it's actually good for their development.

Louise - posted on 01/20/2011

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I can't see a problem with this as long as they have the option of sleeping in their own bed as well. When your eldest daughter goes to school she will soon realise that most children sleep on their own and will want to be like them. i think this will have a natural conclusion without you stepping in.

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