Co-sleeping and how to wean baby into crib

Jennifer - posted on 04/25/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have a high needs baby. She is now 15 weeks old and I have co-slept with her in my bed since she was about 3 weeks old. Since that's that only way I'll get any sleep. She is not a good napper and will only sleep 10-25 minutes at a time. If I'm lucky she will take an hr and a half nap. She fall's asleep when I nurse her, all the time. I want to transition her into her bassinet, which is one of those ones you put on the bed in the middle. But the problem is that she will not fall asleep. She will cry and cry until I pick her up and lay her with me and nurse her. I'm afraid I have gotten her into a bad habit of sleeping with me. I want to eventually get her to sleep in her crib in her room. I can't do the CIO method as she will just cry and cry and get worse and its hard to calm her down. I'm getting very tired of this and its stressing me out. If anyone has any advice how I can get my high needs baby to sleep on her own would be very appreciated. Thanks mommies


Mary - posted on 04/25/2016




Hi Jennifer,
I so have some advice as I completely did that same thing to myself. It wont be easy (at all) but I promise it will work if you stick to it!! (My now 5 yo will not sleep anywhere but his bed by himself since 5 months old) So let me say the not nice part that I learned, it is your fault. BUT you can change it. What she needs to learn is to self soothe. That involves you putting her where you want her to learn to sleep (at bedtime and during naps) and letting her cry it out for certain periods of time. It will feel like hell (at least it did for me). You can choose, based on your comfort level, how long to let her cry. Put her where you want her (I have to add here, it might make it harder if she can see you from where she is). So if its bedtime, put her in her bed, and walk away. You can be right there in the room (just stay out of her sight). If she cries alot now, than you might be used to it. So last as long as you can. When you cant stand it anymore (please remind yourself that she is only unhappy and not in pain or in distress) you can go to her, for just a minute or two and talk to her, touch her to reassure her and walk away again. The goal is to not pick her up. She WILL eventually fall asleep. Now whether you do that dance for 30 minutes or 3 hours, I don't know. But if you CONTINUE to do that EVERYTIME, the crying will get less, and the quicker she will fall asleep. You WILL then have a baby, that you can happily lay in her bed and she WILL coo and talk and be so comfortable and happy in her bed. And I PROMISE you, it is 1000 times harder for you than it is for her. Another helpful hint with this, over estimate and plan to do this for an hour, so don't wait until its exactly bedtime and your tired as well. Start earlier. Also if you get to worn out and cave and pick her up during this, don't just throw the whole thing away. Hold her for alittle and put her back in. Just remember, everytime you pick her up, you reinforce that crying equals getting picked up, and thats not helpful for the cause. I just verified with my hubby that with out son after two weeks of doing the self soothing he was WAY more accustomed and by a month he was totally fine being put in his crib and falling asleep on his own. And whether you nurse her or she is bottle fed, create a bedtime routine with this. If you nurse her before bed, than do that and then start with the self soothing. I don't know whether you were saying that when she wakes you at night to nurse it is because she is still needing overnight feedings or whether it is purely a comfort thing? If it is because she needs fed get out of bed, nurse her and put her in her bed and do the dance. If you can REALLY minimize how often you let yourself pick her up when she is crying it out and DO NOT allow her in your bed, then you can do it. I hope that this is helpful!

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