Co-sleeping or not?

Irene - posted on 10/24/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have a 2 1/2 months old baby girl and from the day we came home she sleeps only on me or with me, even during the day. What worries me is if this is temporary or a permanent situation. How long will it takes to her to sleep in her crib? should I try to put her in her crib? What 's your experience on this matter? Note that I 'm breastfeeding her.


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Alicia - posted on 10/25/2014




its fine as long as you arent a deep sleeper who will roll over on your child..

Chet - posted on 10/25/2014




We co slept with all four of our children. Our kids were born quite close together, and co-sleeping made things a lot easier for our family. In our case, it helped everyone to get the sleep they needed.

My experience was that it actually encouraged our kids to form good sleep habits. Because we were together I could nurse the baby when they first started to stir, and they never opened their eyes, fully woke up or needed to be settled again. Their sleep wasn't disrupted by baby needing to wait for me to go to their room, take them out of their crib, nurse, put them back in their bed, etc. Eventually we reached a point where there was no real night waking event. Being together meant that I could be there to help them to just stay asleep, and good sleep begets good sleep.

No baby slept on me permanently, but it did come and go. It happened when they were infants, when they were sick and when they were teething. The teething and sick made sense from a practical stand point though, because laying flat can make both congestion and teething pain worse.

We used a traditional crib side-carred on a queen size bed off and on. This isn't our house, it's just a picture from some blog online to show what it looks like, there's lots of instructions online about different ways to do it:

We've also used a separate mattress on the floor in our room as well as having the baby actually in bed with us. It was really just about doing what worked best at the time so everybody got the sleep they needed. I have better things to do then try to convince a baby to sleep somewhere they don't want to sleep. And eventually it reached the point where I couldn't tell you when baby woke, or nursed, because the whole process happened so easily that I wasn't fully awake myself.

Our kids all left our bed and room willingly Our oldest was on her own mattress by two, after being in the crib on the side of the queen bed from 10 to 24 months. She didn't go to her own room until she was 4 though because her and her sister got their own room together when they were 2.5 and 4 (it could have happened sooner, but we had some space issues and nobody was unhappy with how things were).

Our third was on a mattress on the floor at 17 months (off and on between 12 and 17 months). Our room at the time was oddly shaped and sort of like two rooms, so he was almost in his own room at that point. Then one day when he was three he moved his own mattress into the bedroom with his sisters, and the three of them stayed there until our fourth was 3.5 - when the boys started sharing a room and the girls got their own room.

If you wait for your child to leave your bed and your room on their own they will eventually do it. It's possible to gently encourage them to speed up the process too, and it doesn't have to be a huge drama. Problems usually come up when the parent and the child are on a different schedule - the parent decides that they need the child in their own room RIGHT NOW and the child isn't ready to make an abrupt transition.

Overall, our kids slept well as infants and the co-sleeping got us through the rough spots when they were older babies and toddlers - teething, colds, developmental bursts, growth spurts, dreams, separation anxiety, etc.

There were other benefits too. The kids were very easy to travel with because they didn't need a crib, or special music / sounds, or their own room, to feel like it was sleep time. They only needed somebody to lay down with them (once they weren't nursing it could be me, their dad, or either grandma). And because they'd never slept in cribs we skipped the "how to transition from the crib" situation that a lot of people face.

For us, co sleeping didn't form any bad habits. It got us through normal things babies and toddlers and new moms struggle with, and all four kids slept well on their own when they were ready.

Sarah - posted on 10/24/2014




The longer you hold her to sleep the more it becomes habit and harder to break. What I suggest is doing a little of both at first. To help her sleep on her own swaddle her and snuggle with her until she falls asleep then lay her down. Eventually over time you can laying her down drowsy but not asleep.

As far as when can she sleep in a crib.....from day 1. All my kids slept in either a bassinet or crib from day 1. And two of my three I breastfed. We have a waterbed, so having a newborn sleep in our bed would have been VERY dangerous. There were some sleepless nights from time to time, but I have 3 kids that have never had sleep problems and we never had to deal with having to break the habit of kids being in our bed.

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