College or a Year off?

LEE - posted on 05/25/2016 ( 10 moms have responded )

11

0

3

My son has not applied to college yet.
He keeps saying that he cannot find what he isiterested in and I keep saying he needs a plan.?
How to encourage him without stressing him out too much
it is almost June and he has not applied for sept

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Raye - posted on 05/25/2016

3,761

0

21

If your adult child is still living at home, you have every right to put conditions on allowing him to stay. Write up an agreement for him to sign that says what's expected of him. That can be anything such as maintaining a certain grade point average if he attends school, or paying rent if he doesn't go to school, keeping common areas of the house clean, respecting the property, respecting other occupants of the house, adherence to a curfew, no drugs/drinking, etc. He should be taking on more responsibility as an adult, and if you grant him the favor of living in your house, you can ask for certain behaviors from him in return.

Jodi - posted on 05/25/2016

3,560

36

3907

Why not let him have some time off to work out what he wants to do? Is there any point in pushing him into a course he is going to have to pay for if he doesn't even know if that's what he wants? Where I am from, a "gap" year is pretty normal. not all kids do it, but many do in order to try to have some time to try different things and figure out what they want. My own son is doing that this year. he is paying rent, supporting himself, has a job.....but is planning on returning to study next year. He just needed a bit of time to figure himself out. Many of his friends are doing the same thing. Not all, but it isn't out of the ordinary.

10 Comments

View replies by

Sarah - posted on 05/26/2016

8,728

0

21

This is tough as college is not for everyone. At this point he may only be able to go to a community college, which is actually a great way to start out if you aren't sure what you want to do, or even if you wan to stay in college. It is affordable and he could investigate a few different course or technical skills to see if it suits him. When kids take a year off and it isn't for a reason like travel, they end to not ever go. Whether they lose track of when to apply or they get so used to working and having a paycheck. I'd push him to at the very least go part time and take a few aptitude tests or talk to a guidance counselor.

Jodi - posted on 05/25/2016

3,560

36

3907

Yes, my son pays rent at home. It was agreed that if he wasn't continuing to study and he decided to get a job, then he had to start adulting by taking on some adult responsibilities like his living expenses.

Dove - posted on 05/25/2016

11,688

0

1349

His choice. If he is living at home you absolutely have the right to put conditions on that living arrangement (be in school and/or pay rent), but if he's not feeling ready for college... pushing him into it could be a total waste of both of your times.

Encouraging him to take a basic class or two at a local community college just to get started on his credits and stay 'used' to the being in school thing might be a wise way to go, but again... adult child, adult choices.

MANY high school seniors/recent graduates do not have a solid plan of what they want to do w/ their life... Some do.

My dad... was a biology major in college because that is what he liked. You know how old he was the first time he actually had a job that USED that biology major in a significant way...? Almost 60. lol But he always worked and always provided for himself and his family.... no matter what he did. ♥

Ev - posted on 05/25/2016

7,375

7

910

I do agree with Raye on her statements as well, but I just do not see the constant pushing an adult child to do something they are not ready to do as yet.

Raye - posted on 05/25/2016

3,761

0

21

Well, he could go to a community college (make sure credits are transferrable) and get the basic courses done for his first year. Then he can work on his decided path later. There's nothing wrong with kids taking some time off, but for some it could make it harder to get back in the groove of school when/if they do decide to go back. I'm not advocating either way, as I don't know the situation. I just know that I didn't complete college, and not having a degree has hurt my career path. He could get lucky and fall into something good without continuing education, but it could make it harder on himself as well.

Ev - posted on 05/25/2016

7,375

7

910

There is no reason to make your son apply to college if he is unsure what he wants to do yet. No kid at his age knows their "life plan" yet.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms