combining birthdays for a 4yr old and 1yr old?

Ashley - posted on 12/31/2011 ( 22 moms have responded )

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My oldest son will be 4 on Jan. 25th and my youngest will be 1 on Jan 29th. Should I combine their birthdays or have separate birthdays?

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Chrystal - posted on 12/31/2011

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I think when they are smaller and really don't understand what a birthday party is it's fine to combine as they get older then they will have different guest lists so they need their own party. We are combining our kids party as they are 2 weeks apart and it's their first and second birthday but we also will do something small as a family on their actual individual birthdays.

Aileen - posted on 01/02/2012

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My sister and I are 3 years apart, to the day. When we were growing up we always had one family party but each had our own "friends" party. They were small, home parties most years, but we each had our own day to celebrate with friends. My mom was also great in that she made us each our own cake for our family party - every year she made each of us a "number" cake (a 6 for me, a 3 for my sister, etc). So we had both our own thing as well as a combined thing. Sure there were years when I hated having to share my birthday, but overall it was fine. It is possible to combine the party and still celebrate each child.

Groovy Girl - posted on 01/01/2012

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Hi Ashley,
I have this problem. I have 2 boys, 3 yrs apart. One has a birthday May 14 and the other May 13. When they were your children's age we just did a combined party, mostly because the guest list was the same. However when my oldest entered gr 1 he started wanting to have his own group of buddies from school. They are now 11 and 8 and both have different school friends. We do it different each year depending on finaces, but i have explained to them in the last couple of years that if they both want their own separate parties that i would do one pary as late as a month before or after the actual birthday. Then the following year the opposite child gets it a little later or earlier. They are ok with that. Last year they just had a friend over and they were happy with that. They are older now though. Good Luck.

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Either way is fine really. It's up to whatever works best for you and your family.

If it were ME? I'd do a combined party, but all our parties have almost the exact same guest list anyway. It just wouldn't make sense for me to have 2 different parties so close together.

Priscilla - posted on 01/04/2012

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My sons are exactly 1 month apart and for my second child's 1st birthday I did them separate because to me becoming 1 was a huge milestone (but then my other son's b-day party that year was smaller and at the house instead of bigger and somewhere else like the 1 year old had), but last year when they turned 2 and 4 they had a combined big party, but this year with my oldest son turning 5 and that being a milestone to us, they are separate again, but my younger son will have a smaller party at the house. So, I see nothing wrong with combined parties especially if they are so close together and finances always dictate things too...I agree with some of the other comments about when they get older they might prefer different parties because of friends, but while they're still young save where you can!

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User - posted on 11/14/2014

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NO! I had to share a previously spit upon cake with my older sister. I still resent it at 47. :)

Tawny - posted on 07/17/2013

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For my daughters I did a combined bday it was their 4th and 1st. We all spent special time with the one year old but the 4 year old got a lot of attention too. We did a surprise party for her so she thought it was all for her sister and boy was she surprised!

Stacey - posted on 01/02/2013

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My girls were born on Jan. 2nd and Jan. 27th. I'm having a party for both of them on the 13th. The actual day I wake them up with a sundae. Then maybe do something fun and cook the dinner of their choice and get them individual cakes and sing to them. It's still a special day. But the party with the friends and family will be together. I don't see the sence in spending money for two separate parties. Or having my family come to two separate parties in one month. I have the exact b day as my sister. I was just fine sharing it. Infact I loved having one big celebration with my sis.

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2012

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I'm a fan of separate parties. I think that it honors each child's birthday as special instead of combining them. Maybe it's cause I'm a twin and didn't get to feel "special" on my birthday until I was an adult and moved away from home. I hated having to share a party growing up, cuase it was never about me (I know that sounds really selfish, but imagine never having anything be specifically about you).

Amme - posted on 01/04/2012

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My two children share the same bday six yrs apart. I try to have their party on the same day but at different times, one following the other. That way they can have their own special celebration and friends and family only have to come once. I do it this way because we have other family birthdays around the same time. I always joke and say it is Christmas in July because of all the bdays.

Gloria - posted on 01/04/2012

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Your youngest will not know the the differance , but the 4 year will and needs to know that this day is his. Many times the oldest feels like he has to share every thing and that can cause problems as he gets older can cause resent ment of his brother. Kids need to know that that day is special because it belongs to them.

Ruthie - posted on 01/03/2012

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Heck have a BLAST for the two of them at the same time. The time will come way too fast, when you'll be having separate parties for them. Have a GREAT TIME no matter which way you decided to go. Happy Birthday Little Ones..early. :-)

Linda - posted on 01/03/2012

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combine your 1 yr old wont even know its birthday, even when they are older your youngest wont wait to celebrate his birthday 4 days after his big brother you will be able to make it a very special time as you only have to do it once a year. my eldest sister and i are 3yrs and 1 day apart in age - so you see i speak from experience --have great parties

Marlaina - posted on 01/03/2012

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As a mom of grown kids (19 & 12) I see the convenience of combining the party but I do not recommend it. Your 4 year old needs their special day. I'm sure you have tried to give your eldest attention & love since the babies arrival but 99.9% of first norms feel like the baby gets it all because the first year requires so much of mommy. Your 1 year old won't care about the party but your 4 year old will. My advice is to separate the parties and give each child their special day all to themselves!

Barb - posted on 01/03/2012

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Here's what we do. In our extended family there are so many kids (cousins etc) that individual parties were getting to be too much... Every other weekend practically! So we now have quarterly parties... Anywhere from 4-6 kids honored per party. The parents of the honorees all collaborate on hosting the party and each child gets their own cake (or cupcake) and has their own gift opening session. It's crazy fun! The kids all really look forward to these parties. Each family does their own special thing w their child on actual bdays, and may also do a separate friends party depending on the child. It's what works for our family. 

I do agree with other posters that individual attention on their day is paramount. Growing up my sister and I were two weeks apart so our family party was just part of our Fourth of July celebration, which was okay, but something special on my actual bday would have been nice, no matter how small. Having the day go by like just any other day was kinda sad. My husband always got to choose a restaurant and go to dinner w just his parents on his bday. That was their tradition. 

I also have a child almost born on Christmas and he says absolutely no combining a bday w Christmas. Even if they get extra presents it doesn't feel special. FYI!

Joanne - posted on 01/02/2012

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combine while you can lol, look for somewhere that will be good for both in a playarea or something xx

Julie - posted on 01/02/2012

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My husband and I have 4 kids whose birthdays are within 10 days. My daughter and his son are one day apart and then our two are one day apart the week before. Because a lot of our family lives out of town we have a combined birthday the weekend before labor day. Our family and friends all attend and it's a large affair. We usually do cupcakes and we've done individual small cakes as well. There's an adult with each kid so they get special attention while opening presents and then there are a couple of aunts who take pictures so we can enjoy opening presents with our kids. On their actual birthdays we do something small and special with each kid. One is older (21) so he usually does his own thing on his actual birthday, but the rest are little (2,3, and 6) so we do something we usually don't do like go get happy meals. This keeps the cost down. We also put out a "christmas" list out to family and friends. It's a list of presents that each kid would like, usually under $10 dollars so that it eases the financial burden on family members who really want to get presents for the kids. We also potluck it which cuts down on costs. Everyone has a "signiture" dish they love to take to potlucks. That's what works for our family to give everyone a chance to celebrate together and each child still get's their special birthday.

Angela - posted on 01/02/2012

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Do a combined party it will be easier for you and make it so you dnt go crazy. Have a couple clowns who do magic, face painting and balloon twisting. I have 6 boys and believe me things get nuts but while they are young they may enjoy the party together its when they get older you'll have to do seperate parties but for now save yourself the hassle!!

Sherri - posted on 01/01/2012

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I am really not a fan of combining birthdays I think every child should have a day just for themselves to be celebrated. However, this is just my opinion. I know a lot of people that combine but I kind of feel badly for them when the parents opt to do this.

Bonnie - posted on 01/01/2012

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For now, I think combining them is fine, but once your 4 year old is a bit older and understands more plus has friends from school he would like to invite, you will likely have to do them separately. Nothing wrong with combining both down the road if they are just parties where you invite family though.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/31/2011

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It all depends. However you start celebrating there birthdays now, will set the trend for future birthdays. My birthday is so close to Christmas, that I always felt jipped on the celebration. I personally would do them seperate as far friends and parties go.....at least when they are at that age. For now, maybe you should ask your 4 year old what he wants to do.

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