Complicated need to simplify

Shardae - posted on 04/11/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi my name is shardae. I am new to this group. i need to vent a bit because I feel I can't do that so here goes nothing!
I started seeing this guy about 9 years ago but before I commented to being a girlfriend a guy friend had asked me to do a big favor for him and set down ground rules for myself of a relationship i didn't want and need less to say i married my husband 5 years ago. This is turned out to be a unhealthy relationship. Everything a woman prays would never happen is happening to myself and my children. I am reaching out the only way I know how to. I feel week when it comes to this man that I married and my life is turning into a nightmare it seems. What's sad is the fact that it seems to me that our children r being victimized with me. I have branch out looking for help but it seems to me that everywhere I go there is someone he already knows that destroys any hope i have. I cry myself to sleep at night because there is nothing I can do about this problem because I married this man.
I have found drugs in my home and I worried that he might be drugging me or having his friends drug me. I know that no one believes me but its worth a shot and if not at least I can vent.
I have been trying to look up laws that might help protect me and my children. I have tried moving several times but he still finds me or finds a way to ruin any hopes I have. I have tried league ade but they just tell me. The only way they will help me is if he is hitting me or my children. Then they give me other numbers to call. I don't have the income to hire a lawyer so I have gone to church hoping I can find hope in god and his word. Because I married him I made a promise to god but it seems like to me that god would not ask this to one of his children to do this to a spouse be cause of the do unto others ordeal. My husband believes in this marriage ordeal but I didn't and now i feel trapped and obligated. I feel like a mother animal in a cage with my baby's. An someone on the otherside keeps on opening up the cage an sticking a drugged out male animal (that's the father of my baby's) in our cage in if I do anything to show any retaliation or if me and my baby's even cry then the male acts out an not only do we get it from him but we also get punished from be being out the outside that put him in there in the first place.
:'(

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Tracey - posted on 04/11/2015

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Ms. Shardae I can relate to your situation. My first husband was terrible and I stayed in that marriage for 12 years of him abusing me physically and mentally. But I finally got the strength to leave him after 12 years because I saw what it was doing to my children. He tried everything to keep me in his grips. He threatened to hurt my family if I told them or went to them for help. After he threatened to punch my son in his chest and I saw my son shaking. God gave me the strength to get help. There are organizations that will help you but you have to be sure and know this, the ends will justify the means. You can be happy again. We don't realize that whatever affects us affects our children. They are watching you hurt and in turn they will be hurt. Remember they learn from us. I am hoping that this give you enough strength to know that you don't have to tolerate this kind of behavior from anyone and that there is someone else out there who understands and who have been where you are.

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