Concerned about my son

AnaMaria - posted on 11/01/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




My mother passed away 2 years ago. Before I met my husband, I was a single mother for the first 5 years of my son's life. We lived with my mom for a majority of that time. My son is now 12 and he was 10 when mo mother passed away from a brain hemorrhage. We were living with her at the time & he was very close with her. When she passed, it was very sad & what concerns me is that he never cried. He never shed not one tear & to this day, he never talks about her or expresses any kind of sadness regarding her death. I've asked him about it & talked to him about it & let him know that if he ever wanted to talk to me or any other family member regarding her passing to please let me know. I'm a little concerned that he is bottling this all in & I'm afraid it might have a negative impact in the future if he never really deals with it. Should I be concerned or should I just accept the fact that he got over it & dealt with it without actually showing any kind of emotion? Any advice would be greatly appreciated....


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Kimberlee - posted on 11/02/2012




Maybe a notebook that he can use to write to her ?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Ariana - posted on 11/02/2012




Well, you can bring him to a greif councellor who deals with this issue a lot.

Not everyone grieves the same way, especially children. He may not NEED to cry it out or talk about it. I would still take him to a councellor to discuss it with (specifically a grief councellor who deals with this frequently).

It's also hard to know what to do when you're put on the spot. It's great that you l et him know you are there for him, but people (espeically boys/men) don't always express their feelings best through words. Do you ever talk about her and how she was when she was alive? It may be helpful to speak of her, in context, in your regular day life. Like remember when we did this with Grandma? Or even talk about her to your husband while your sons around so the pressure isn't on him to deal wih it.

My condolences for your loss, I can't imagine how that would feel. It's never an easy thing to deal with.

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