concerned because my 2 year old daughter has poor eye contact

Lizeth - posted on 10/03/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




Hey ladies! My girl will be 3 in January 22. My daughter has had 3 tests done (only quesions) about her devoplment (speech,social skills,motor skills) she passed them all with average scores. So not delayed. Im still concerned that she does not give good eye contact. She tends to ignore new people if they call her. Its kind of disturbing to me that people wanna talk to her or ask her something and tends not look up. Only when she wants to. When we speak to her she hardly ever looks at us. She looks at us when we play hide & go seek. Or play other games, or read books. She does notice when i leave the room and looks for me all the time.(follow me). But she does not keep eye contact. She can look at u quickly and not keep no conversation with u. I dont know if this is normal. Other things that worries me is that last week she started flapping her hands out of the no where when she gets excited or plays. Only when she excited or mad. Her vocabulary is up to 100 words but only like 4 sentences. Should i still be worried for autism or even be concerned tho she passed those questions?


JoAnne - posted on 10/05/2016




You are such a great mom! It is impressive how you have noted the behaviors your daughter exhibits. I have worked with preschool and early elementary children and the first thing I always said when parents came to me with questions like your is, "have you talked to her pediatrician about your concerns?" Your pediatrician is your best source.

You mentioned autism, children can exhibit symptoms as early as 15 months but the age your daughter is now is when we typically think of diagnosis occurring. That means every parent of a 2 1/2 to 3 year old worries about autism. I did. Again, talk to your pediatrician but I'm guessing she is not autistic.

What you describe sounds like a child who is very internally motivated. If she is interested she interacts. If she is not interested she does not interact. The hand waving can easily be a developmental stage. Maybe she saw someone else do it. Maybe she just waved her hands once by accident and decided she like that motion. It can be hard to pinpoint the origin of such behaviors. The lack of eye contact could also be disinterest. It is possible that she does not maintain eye contact simply because she does not feel interested, she isn't engaged.

Your daughter may be like mine. I had a terrible time finding answers for my strong-willed, unmotivated, very smart daughter. Teachers kept telling me, "she is a joy, her grades are excellent, what is your problem?" My problem was I couldn't motivate her. She wouldn't engage. Finally I got James Dobson's book The Strong Willed Child. It really helped me to understand her behavior as a developing personality as opposed to a medical diagnosis.

I wish you all the best in your search for answers. Blessings!

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