Confusing custody battle

[deleted account] ( 32 moms have responded )

I sent my son to stay with my grandmother while I was in school for Skin Care. Our agreement was I would get him back when I finished school. I finished in March, and I have my license now. I tried to get him back, and now I am told that she has custody of him. I never consented to her having custody, and she will not give him back. I applied for legal aid and was denied. I do not know what she did or what I can do to get him back. Can anyone help me please?!?!?!?!

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Kyleigh - posted on 11/07/2011

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I would keep trying legal aide, i have tried 3 x before I got accepted!! GOOD LUCK!

Donna - posted on 09/19/2009

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Did you sign 'Temporary Custody' papers if so she may have followed through on them those papers are for certain time frames..

Willmarie - posted on 09/16/2009

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Quoting Leoni:

Good day

My daughter is having her baby in November and we can not afford the medical expenses for a private hospital, so she will have to go to a state hospital. Has any of you tried home birth? Or can anybody give me advise on how to get the best medical care for my daugter and the baby?


tell her to get pregnancy medicaid... its wonderful... lots of benefits

Emma - posted on 09/14/2009

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Quoting Jessann:

Confusing custody battle

I sent my son to stay with my grandmother while I was in school for Skin Care. Our agreement was I would get him back when I finished school. I finished in March, and I have my license now. I tried to get him back, and now I am told that she has custody of him. I never consented to her having custody, and she will not give him back. I applied for legal aid and was denied. I do not know what she did or what I can do to get him back. Can anyone help me please?!?!?!?!



hi there



 my name is emma  i have been in same problem but i left my boys with thier father,



while i found some where to live .



the only thing i can say is did you get letters  from a lawyer when you were in school !!



 if not thats what you can go on because you had no idea thats was going on an go to a lawyer not legal aid once you have got the lawyer an it goes to court then go for legal aid, but you have to high court, and it will take about two years before you get  your son back as it took me that long but it is worth it in the end, and its very hard to tell you how to go about this on  here but i won my boys off my ex and he had everthing going for me, and i did'nt have to go on. but if you want get in conact with me an ill see if i can help any more, email emmasandreson@hotmail.com



good luck



emma  

Christie - posted on 09/13/2009

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Get a lawyer. If you have to go into debt to do it, then consider it a small portion of what you would have spent on childcare while you were in school. You have to get good legal advice based on the situation and the laws where you are.

Melony - posted on 09/13/2009

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My husband had a strange parental issue too. They should have posted something in the local paper showing her intent. If you did not respond then she could take custody or she would have to prove you unfit. If she posted something in the paper and you never saw it then you can fight based on that, but if she found you unfit then you would have had to be present. I would contact some attornies, most of them have to do so many probono cases (cases for free) a year. Sometimes you can just explain your situation and they will be willing to help. Best of luck to you.

Crystal - posted on 09/13/2009

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wwo If you don't qualify for legal aid call law firms in your area and ask how much a consultation would cost. Go and tell them the situation and get what ever advice you can. If you are able to keep your cool then apply to the family court and go to court. It sounds like your grandmother claimed you abandoned the child and possibly went to court while you were in school. How old is your child? Old enough to know you were at school or too young to understand. Start with the consultation and go from there. You may even luck into meeting with a lawyer who will take your case pro bonno no charge to you or cheaper with payments ask all about these options as well. Do you have any friends or family who were witnesses to the agreement you had with your grandmother? If so talk to them and make sure you have their names and numbers when you go for the consultation.Good luck and keep me and others updated.

Jannah - posted on 09/12/2009

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The same "thing" happened to me. She cannot get custody without an court order.To obtain this she has have a letter that you signed and the father. Now a days you cannot just "write your kid off" She's trying stupid tricks, Don't let her catch you!Go to the police:She stole your kid, and go to the nearest maintenance court.Thinking of you!Be strong!

Pam - posted on 09/12/2009

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I'm not so sure she can say that she has "custody" of your son. If she didn't take you to court, have you sign any papers relinquishing custody or even gardianship of your son, then she doesn't have a leg to stand on. Alot of attorneys have a free consultation. You might try contacting one in your area to find out how to go about getting your son back. If your grandmother doesn't have papers stating that she has custody, go get your son and take the cops with you.

Jennifer - posted on 09/12/2009

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No Grandparents have rights in the first place. How can you not know what she did? What do you mean by that? Does she know anything about you that makes you "unfit"? It sounds like there is much more to this than you are telling, but unless she was ordered by the courts a "legal guardian" than you need to go to her house and pick YOUR child up.

Wendy - posted on 09/12/2009

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ok im gonna be frank and honest here, depending on which country your in is to how things operate, its not always about oh ive been to court oh im so clever,cos sometimes it doesnt work that way.We have only the icing on the cake here of info, you claim to have gone to school and left him in her custody for the duration, but how long was this for, 10mths or 3yrs, we are talking of a young child here who has now become accustomed to his grandmothers house and love.Also during this time how often did you see him and did you support financially?If you didnt she wouldve had to if in your country sought help financially and this couldve incurred court ruling, of which if you wasnt on the seen too much wouldve possible brought in other members of the family such as the father to give back up and permission for her to raise the child,Its not all black and white things have to be taken into consideration from all angles, if she was able to prove to a court withour yr permission you hardly ever showed up etc they wouldnt bother coming to find you but put an emergency ruling on your child, and if the father was around to stand you wouldnt be required as youve disappeared as far as they would be concerned.Your behaviour everything comes into it and the picture you have up here does you no favours or give the impression of a good girl and that is what the law system will want to see. If you was denied legal aid its for a reason, what was the reason you was given, you was too long out the picture? its been settled already? you earn to much? Im not here to judge only to put a perspective or angle on this situation like many others, that its not always as it seems, maybe getting to visit and going out more often or as much as you are if you do loads will help in time bring your grandmother around, i dont believe any grandmother would spitefully keep a child of their own grandchild she must have reason, ask her those reasons whether just or not and then work on them with her to in time show her and then maybe your have standing to get your son back,but also remember the most important thing here is your son, what are his wishes how does he feel, whether hes 2yr or 10yrs the childs feelings must be the most important in the decision, and if you cant have him back then remember your always his mum and can see him lots shower him with love and maybe one day when he is older enough by law to make the decision he will return to you, good luck in making the right decision and i hope the right outcome happens for him

Cindy - posted on 09/12/2009

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Show up with local police saying she is keeping your son from u and if she has papers she will have to show the officer if she lied and don't she will have to give him back. This way u know for sure if she has papers or custody which I doubt she does cause u would have had to go to court too...I would do this first before u hire a lawyer make sure she's not lying about custody... which sounds like she is if you have no papers or didn't go to court...only way she could have done it is through the local paper where you live... but you still would have received papers in the mail...If it is the case you find out after showing up with sheriff... go to juvenile court they would be able to help you the best with out hiring a lawyer... only hire lawyer if you have too and let her hire one first cause then you can get and court appointed lawyer free or legal aid she will have to pay all legal fees if she hires lawyer first...well good luck...if you need further help let me know I went though this with ex husband

Sharron - posted on 09/12/2009

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Quoting Jessann:

Confusing custody battle

I sent my son to stay with my grandmother while I was in school for Skin Care. Our agreement was I would get him back when I finished school. I finished in March, and I have my license now. I tried to get him back, and now I am told that she has custody of him. I never consented to her having custody, and she will not give him back. I applied for legal aid and was denied. I do not know what she did or what I can do to get him back. Can anyone help me please?!?!?!?!



I would go see a lawyer, explain what happened,and if he agrees to represent you-tell your grandmother that you are taking her to court,suering her for the cost of  your lawyer and if she doesn't want this to get nasty,she better turn your son over to you. Threaten her(even if you don't mean it) she won't know. But you have to let her know that you want your son back. How dare her.........

Jo - posted on 09/12/2009

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Hi, what country do you live in ? If your mum has custody of your son then it would have to have gone to court and you would definately have been informed of this, and required to make an appearance before the judge. I live in the uk and to get joint custody of my son, it was a very long drawn out process. It involved numourous court appearances and one to one sessions with Cafcas, an independant body. If I was in your shoes, ask your mum to see the legal document ( court order) if she does not have one then as far as i know your'e still you sons legal guardian. Its very hard for a relative apart from the childs parents to get custody, esp from the the mum as you have parental repsonsibility, and that counts for a hell of a lot! I hope this helps. Also some areas of this country dont have legal aid as an option, ie in my home town no solicitors offer legal aid anymore but they do in the neighbouring county. Check around where you live plus lgal aid it NOT actually free, you do end up having to pay for it eventually. IF you do live in the uk i also advise you to see the Citizens Advice Beureau. they can offer some help. GOOD LUCK.

[deleted account]

She does not have legal custody if an order has not been made by a judge. However, if status quo is that the child lives with her full time, in her town and a lot of time has gone by then you will have a hard time getting joint custody when this goes to court. Anything that becomes status quo is hard to change.

Jaimie - posted on 09/12/2009

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oh honey i feel for you, i went through the same thing with my daughter and own mother..
1st thing, for her to have custody you had to of been to court,
for this to happen you HAVE to be served with papers stating why she's applying for custody and when and where you have to attendant court...
this means that u get a heads up on all the shit she's about to say to the courts, anyway.. as neither of these things have take place she DOES NOT have custody.

2nd.. it was a verbal agreement between the 2 parties so yourself and your nan, that once school was completed the little one was to return to your day to day care yes..
so in actual fact she's breach the agreement you 2 made between yourself by withholding your son from you. past school ending, which means legally you can walk into her house and take your son..

if you are afraid to do that as you said you were denied legal aid, that's because that's who's representing your nan and that's called a conflict of interest which is why they are unable to represent you.. however that doesn't mean your screw it simply means head into your local legal aid office and ask for a list of private solicitors that take on denied legal aid clients, there fore you get representation for legal aid prices.. everyone's happy there, and go through the right channels to recover your son, i.e federal police, child services and of course the courts..

i hope ive helped a little.. any more questions after reading this post.. just track me down

Stephanie - posted on 09/11/2009

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I am a paralegal in family law for four years, she has to have filed for guardianship with the court or a motion to terminate your rights both of which are required to be served on you with time for you to respond. If this has not happened, she has no rights and police should assist you in getting him back. Legal Aid is next to impossible to get approval, call around, there is usually attorneys that will offer a first meeting for free and give you more detailed options and explain your rights to you. Most will let you make monthly payments if it does require a court process to get your son back.

[deleted account]

Something is not right here. Either you have not had contact with your mother (in law?) or your son in a very long time to know what has been going on in their lives, or you are ommitting part of the story. NO ONE ELSE can get legal custody of a child without going to court first. You would have had to receive a subpeona to attend court. However, if you decided to ignore this, or they were unable to get a hold of you for a certain period of time, yes, custody could have been granted to her either on the terms of abandonedment, or just that you didn't contest the motion of her having custody. Either way it is public record, so you can go to the court house and ask to see any papers with your name on them. If she cannot produce custodial papers signed from the court, simply pick up your son and leave, with a police/sheriff escort. She can be charged with kidnapping otherwise. She will also have to produce these papers to whomever you have accompany you. I'm also confused as to how you could have been denied Legal Aid. Even when a family has a higher income, you can still usually retain counsel, especially in a situation as you have described it. Even if it's on a repayment basis.

Julie - posted on 09/11/2009

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you may need to go to court to get custody back. i think you need to call your local family relationship centre to start that process. look for them online if you havnt contacted them already. if you havnt signed over custody or been served with family court documents to say you no longer have custody, your grandmother may just have guardianship. The family relationship centre is the only avenue to get custody orders. they do mediation and all that jazz. have you gone to your local family court house to try and get a retrieval order and do you have documents stating you no longer have custody and she does. fight for your right to get yourson back. you did a good thing for him by get qualified so you can work o support him and you got shafted. its not right and you are the mother and can win this.you need to confirm she has some sort of legal custody, otherwise you can take your id and your sons birth certificate to the court house and get them to have him returned to you.dont believe what you are told, see it for yourself. if she has legal custody, both she and you should have legal documents saying that. you need to get any relevant paperwork and if it doesnt exist then she has no right to keep your son...good luck

Ann - posted on 09/11/2009

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Go and get your child. Unless she has court papers to show you that this is legal... then I would be picking up my child and going home.

Leoni - posted on 09/11/2009

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Good day



My daughter is having her baby in November and we can not afford the medical expenses for a private hospital, so she will have to go to a state hospital. Has any of you tried home birth? Or can anybody give me advise on how to get the best medical care for my daugter and the baby?

Donna - posted on 09/10/2009

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Call DCF let them figure it out. that would be the cheapest way to go. in FL they have more power than the judge before court at least.

Tammy - posted on 09/10/2009

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I agree with all these ladies. You would have notified if anything was filed in the courts. I'm in New Mexico and I'm not sure how other states work, but in your search engine type in (your state) courts and it should bring up all courts and all cases....by now everyone is on-line. That will be your first hint on what was filed, if anything. If nothing shows there, you should most likely take Kelley Dillon's suggestions because grandma would be required to show documentation. Regarding an attorney, my state is 3rd poorest in the country and to find an attorney to give free legal advice is practically unheard of due to the economy and the attorneys here start at $250/hr. and always want retainers ($2,000 to $10,000 to start)....I was a legal secretary for 12 years and they charge you for everything....even a postage stamp! Be careful there hun. Also, if Legal Aid won't take your case because, again, the other side has to file first -- that's a pretty good lead that grandma didn't file anything. I've learned in my custody case we need to keep copies of EVERYTHING! Copy letters written to your child; print any text messages sent to your child; write or type out every conversation you have with every party involved, whether it be grandma, your child, social services, the police. Courts require that nowadays. Many blessings to you and I'll say a prayer for your son's return. Mrs. Scouten

Kelley - posted on 09/09/2009

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You might get bol and show up with an officer, to pick up your child and she will have to let you have your child or show the officer paperwork proving oterwise. Make sure your hamoe is oin order for you and your son so that isn't an issue.

#1 - have the place you'll be living in order

#2 - go pick up child with sherriff

#3 - appeal legal aid



(and pray, pray for wisdom and love and an end to this that will bless everyone...In Jesus name :)

Melissa - posted on 09/09/2009

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Does she have any paperwork stating that she has custody of him? Or is there any paperwork from the court? If not she can't do anything and you can take him back at any time. Usually you would be summoned to court in order for that to happen. Call the family court and check it out first.

Michelle - posted on 09/09/2009

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I agree with the ladies that are saying to get a lawyer. You need to see someone that deals mainly with Family Law. Find out what proof she has that she does have full custody of your son. Good luck:0)

Linda - posted on 09/09/2009

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Get a lawyer it is expensive but that is the best addvice anyone can give they will give a free first visit go and talk to one that deals is family law

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2009

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Jessann,



Unless she had formal orders to take conservatorship of your son, NO, she does not have custody of him. However, you may have to get an attorney to file formal documents. Unless there is a legally filed document in the county of your residence, she is bullying you and intimidating you. You can file your own suit at the county district clerk's office. The law library is free. I don't know what state you are in but you need a restraining order too to get your child. Call the police and they can help you go get him.

Julie - posted on 09/09/2009

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did u know that u can appeal the decision that was made with Legal aid? You have that right !!

[deleted account]

If she has custody she has to give you the details of the court case (not to mention you legally should have been notified of such) if she can not prove by documentation that she does have custody, you have every legal right to your child.

Did you keep in full contact and have visits with your son? if you didnt then she may be able to use that against you. Get a lawyer ASAP and talk about the agreement made and find out exactly what you need to do to get him back into your care, the longer she has him the better chances she will have of keeping him!

Legal Aid will do nothing if nothing has gone to court (which means she probably doesnt or hasnt even tried to get real custody)

I do hope that you made this agreement in front of someone you trust, if so you could get it in writing to prove the agreement which would then mean she would have to give him back unless there were grounds that she felt you were not safe in which she would have to either prove your not safe or would have to give him back.

Sharon - posted on 09/08/2009

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I doubt it. Did you pay for his support? Did you get a legal document specifying how and when you would pick him up?



the courts or family services should be giving you some information.



At any rate somehow she showed the courts that you were negligent and you have to prove that you are not. Where are the documents showing she has custody and the documents detailing your negligence? Work from there.

Kendra - posted on 09/08/2009

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I don't know much about custody cases, but are ya sure she has "legal" custody of your son? Reason I ask is that she would had to of taken you to court and let a judge rule custody in her favor. I'd definitely be checking into this. If she does not have "legal" custody of him, then well, I'd be getting a hold of the cops and going to her home to claim your son back. I can't imagine that she could get legal custody without going to court...

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