Considering adoption...any thoughts, insights to a family considering adoption. There is so much information out there and I'm wondering is it best to go international or within the U.S. I also am also wondering what to realistically excpect financially. Thanks!

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Jennifer - posted on 01/22/2009

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My area of help would only be in adoption through foster care. We have adopted 3 girls that were placed with us as infants, one at 6 weeks old and twins that came to us from the hospital after birth. As far as cost, it was $0, but it is an emotional rollercoaster to ride for sure. We are currently waiting to adopt a sibling group of 3 more girls from foster care as well.

Ashleigh - posted on 01/22/2009

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I am not well versed in the cost of adoption, but being adopted It is a wonderful thing.  As far as internationally or in the US i would have to say stick with the US.  I know there are many babies internationally, but there are just as many in our foster too.  There are many places to look and some will offer financial assistance.  My advice is look local and if all the doors shut there, then go international.

Nicola - posted on 01/22/2009

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Hi Cari,

My husband and I just adopted from Russia a little girl aged 2 who is absolutely amazing. I will tell you that it is a very invasive process and also with hotel and plane fare can be very expensive. But in the end it is worth every penny. My advice to you would be to do a lot of reading and research so that you can be fully prepared mentally for the journey that you are going to embark upon.

Adoption is a lifetime committment just as if you had a biological child. It has to be right for you in every way spiritually emotionally and financially.



If you want to speak with me personally plz let me know and i will send you my email.



-Nikki

Amanda - posted on 01/22/2009

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I thought I submitted a post, but I guess it got lost. Here are the basics of what I wrote:

We adopted domestically and it ended up costing about 20,000 dollars total. You get about 11,000 dollars back in taxes, but not until two years after the adoption.

I recommend you read "Adoption for Dummies". It sounds ridiculous, but it is a great book to introduce you to the options and walk you through what you need to do for your home study and how to choose an agency, etc.

We couldn't possibly love our son more, so I thoroughly recommend adoption if you can afford it! It's worked out so great for my family!!

Please feel free to write to me if you want to discuss more,
Amanda

Jennifer - posted on 01/22/2009

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ooops that sentence should have said "Based on love."   I wrote "not based on love"... sorry. 



dh was talking lumber to me while I was typeing.    I didn't realize how long my post was until I re read it.  LOL



 

Jennifer - posted on 01/22/2009

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Adoption is wonderful.  My dh and I helped with a semi open adoption 4 yrs. ago.  We are the mediators in this adoption since it was from dh's side of the family to my side of the family and 5 states inbetween.  There are a lot of things to consider I would start at the library of all places.  There are some wonderful books there to read, if you aren't sure which ones to pick, call a local adoption agency for some recomendations on reading material.  They can also send you a packet of information.  You should also do your homework on local and international agencies.  I know my cousins are working on a 2nd adoption and took their time picking a local adoption agency.  As for cost, I can tell you they have roughly 25 thou. set asside that they do not touch no matter what for a single adoption.  If you are open to twins it is double that with only a 1 thou. discount for the second child.  So they are in the process of saving for in case that happens.   You also need to think about special needs children.  Twins are considered special needs and are actually harder to place.  A child with a cleft pallet is harder to place and these adoptions can go thru faster.  A cleft pallet is easily fixed now with minimal scarring.  Sibling groups are considered special needs sometimes they are as young as 10 mo. old and a new born.  Transition would go rather smoothly.  There is also a mourning period babies of certain ages go thru learning to put their trust into their new parents that I found really intresting reading when I read all of the books with my cousin's.  I decided that if I was going to be a semi open adoption mediator I should know what happens thru the years in the course of the child growing and asking questions.  Her parents can answer a lot of questions but if they don't know who do you think they are going to come to?  Me and my dh for answers.  I will try to always talk with her parents first, not to her directly unless they want me to, but I would first always tell them what I am going to tell her until the age of 18.  I have kept notes over the years, pictures for her, and so on, because it was a family adoption I have more information than a reg. mediator would have.  Christmas cards, pictures of siblings, information on her birth faimly thru the years, phone calls, grandparents and so on. 



It is all worth it!  I get to see my neice/cousin grow up and her birth cousins are her adoptive cousins also (my kids) so there is no doubt where she came from and that her family on both sides loved her.  Just remember adoption is an OPTION, due to curcumstances of life, usually not based love, love motivates the adoption process on both sides to happen.  I've also learned that quite a few adoptions come from families with multiple children who can't afford to raise another and want to give their loved child a more optimistic life than what they can afford.  Or their marriage is on the rocks headed for divorce, it's not that they don't love this child, it's that they want them to have the security of a whole family not a fractured one. 



I hope I've given you some food for thought and if you want to discuss this with me further please let me know. 

Leslie - posted on 01/22/2009

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I can only speak about our experience - we went to Vietnam in April to pick up our son after 2 years of paperwork and waiting.  Cost wise- not cheap to go international -  I don't have any insight in domestic adoption.  Bottom line - worth every penny and all the waiting!  And yes we should get some back with our tax return this year.

Leslie - posted on 01/22/2009

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I can only speak about our experience - we went to Vietnam in April to pick up our son after 2 years of paperwork and waiting.  Cost wise- not cheap to go international -  I don't have any insight in domestic adoption.  Bottom line - worth every penny and all the waiting!  And yes we should get some back with our tax return this year.

Stephanie - posted on 01/22/2009

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i have friends that have adopted 2 babies from Korea ( i think). they had their babies in a short period of time and both babies are beautiful!!! price wise she said she got almost half back in taxes. i will have her write you when i see her next.

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