Constant bored step-daughter

Tiffanie - posted on 05/29/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have joint custody of her 11 year old daughter. We have her every other week. She has everything a girl could want. We spend a lot of money on these things she wants/likes. She may play with it once or twice, maybe. She complains 24/7 that she is bored, even when we are doing something fun, and when she isn't saying it she is sulking. We don't make her do a lot of chores when she is at our house because at her mom's that is all she does. She does their laundry, cooks, cleans, and babysits. What do I do?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/29/2014

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My grandmother had the perfect solution. Every time we said "i'm bored" we got a duty. Mucking stalls, cleaning corrals, picking up litter on the land, following the baler and stacking hay...

We soon learnt that if we were THAT bored, we'd soon be working our butts off, and learnt how to use our imaginations and keep ourselves busy. It must have worked, because that was 30 + years ago, I used the same exact method with my kids, and they learned how to keep themselves occupied and busy.

Perhaps, instead of purchasing all of her likes/wants, you should all work on doing things together, whether it's a board game or a walk around the neighborhood. Ask her to help you choose the evening activites (or whatever), and respect her input.

Trust me, she's not just bored at her dad's, she's a teen...the first phrase they master is "I'm BORED"...LOL..usually in that nasally, whiny tone of voice...

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Tanya - posted on 06/02/2014

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I get bored super easily as well, so I may understand where she is coming from...

I'm always cleaning, baking, and taking care of my daughter all at the same time. I've always had to be a busy body... that's just the way I am. It annoys my husband because our weekends are jam packed...

Here's a tip...besides the cleaning that the others said...I love that, I would add music and do it together. So you have to the weekend booked to the rafters with activities...doesn't have to cost money. She has to be on the go...

A sample:
pick a weekend theme-she's only 11 and will enjoy it

-Wake up
-Breakfast
-Get ready
-Go to the library -pick books and whatever else you can get that relate to the theme
-Take a coffee break-juice/milk and snack break at Starbucks and kind of go over the books
-Then head to the grocery store and plan a meal and dessert together to go with you themed weekend
-Go home and find a craft activity to also go with the theme
-Lunch
-Take a walk in a new park or a swim
-Go to a pet shop and just pet the puppies and kittens
-Start to make the dessert all together because it may take time
-Make a puzzle
-Start dinner all together
-Eat
-Watch a movie
-Bed.

Never ask her what's wrong...just say 'hey! I have an idea...let's do....'

Jodi - posted on 05/30/2014

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That's why I am wondering what these fun things are that you do with her that she is bored with. Is it things you think are fun, or things that are her interests. Maybe she'd rather just sit down with dad and play a bit of x-box together..... (just an example).

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/30/2014

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I'm wondering if she isn't trying to say "I really want to spend time together with everyone, because I DON'T have to do all of the chores and housework here, so I can have fun with you and dad"...but in a typically pre-teen way, embarrassed to come right out and say it?

Jodi - posted on 05/30/2014

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I do have to say, if this is the worst she does, then you seem to have a pretty good kid on your hands!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/30/2014

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That's my suggestion as well. Every time she says she's bored, give her something to do. If she doesn't want to do it, she mustn't be that bored!

Tiffanie - posted on 05/30/2014

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The only problem is that she is sulky then we ask her what's wrong and she says (in a sulky voice) "I'm bored". She gets plenty of attention at our house. She never wants to play in her room. She just wants to be right there with us all the time.

Jodi - posted on 05/29/2014

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She sounds pretty typical. What sort of things do you mean when you say you are doing something fun? maybe it isn't fun for her, only for you? You know, chances are she is bored at mum's house too.

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